STUBBORN CHILD.

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 10, 12 January 1929, Page 15 (Supplement)

STUBBORN CHILD.

TELLS HIS SECRET TO SCIENTISTS. TRYING TO EXPRESS HIMSELF. ADVICE TO PUZZLED PARENTS. Distracted mothers who can't understand why their three-year-olds refuse *o comply with their wishes will receive ;6ome comfort in learning of behaviourietio studies of stubborn qualities m ■children from two to four years of age •which have been in progress at the Institute of Child Welfare Research at Teachers Collegs, Columbia University. ' A study of 229 children of pre-school a-e bv Dr. Martha May Reynolds las been completed. The group was observed by examiners while attending the nursery school which the institute operates for purposes of social experimentation. Special problem istuations ■were used following preliminary studies and data compiled. The study which Dr. Reynolds made is called "Negativism in Pre-School Children." Just what causes children of small age to be stubborn has not wholly been determined, but it was found that children of two years were considerably more stubborn than children of four.

Language Lack Blamed. One idea put forth from the study is that the child in refusing to comply with demands is struggling to become a personality. This was suggested by Dr. Helen T. Woolley, director of the institute and authority on behaviour of children. . Another cause, and one which is believed to hold some weight, is that the child may lack adequate language expressions. "No," Dr. Reynolds says, is about the only tool which the two-year-old lias at his command to express his willingness to do as we wish him to. "The four-year-old uses 'Yes, I will in just a minute,' 'Wait 'til I get through doing this,' and other politer forms, just ■a adults do under similar circumstances," Dr. Reynolds continues. "Also, it is quite possible that the ordinary use of 'not' and 'can't' ie not thoroughly at the command of some of these smaller children. "The child who says 1 can't,' and, then proceeds to do whatever it was he «aid he couldn't do, and the child who eays 'I'm not coming with you, am I? and then trots peaceably along without more ado may be examples of this lade of understanding of the language *>• volved, Tather than instances of opposition."

Harshness to be Avoided. Dr. Reynolds suggests to mothers that they should not be harsh when their children refuse to obey. "Any suggestion for managing the stubbornness, or negativism as it oe elled, or the pre-ecbool child must presuppose a sympathetic understanding of .'the psychology of the ehild of this *g» 'pQ* * g«yine respect for him a§.§ Jj^f,

sonality. Then, on this basis, a spirit of co-operation should be established between the child and the adult. -Requests of the child should be couched in the form of 'Let's do tins shall we?' implying a willingness to meet him at least half-way. All but the absolutely neceseary issues ehould be avoided, and his language refusals should not be taken eo seriously. When active resistance and defiance are encountered, a break in the proceedings is more likely to produce the desired result than persistence. Give the chiH* a chance to capitulate and still save u.s self-respect. While offering no general rule for managing stubborn children, Dr. Reynolds suWests the best plan is not to provoke the child. Sometimes it is the mother who is stubborn rather than the child, she says, and for this the child is often blamed. . The studies being conducted at the institute are considered remarkable in that children as small as 17 months of age are used for experimental purposes, .excellent conditions are provided by the institute, affording the nursery school children educational opportunities not riven to other children. While several other such schools exist in the country, the Columbia institution has been a pioneer. In explaining the contrariness of email children Dr. Reynolds saye that the refusal to co-operate makes smooth running home management almost impossible It is not uncommon, she says, to have a monther say of her three-year-old: "I can't do a thing with him. He says *No' to everything, and it is often a struggle to get even the most essential matters of the day attended to. "One three-year-old boy of my acquaintance, whom the above description fits most aptly, formed the habit of entering his grandmother's home each day, before anybody had even asked him to do anything, with the speech 'Grandmother, I won't.' His attitude was one of 'Whatever you ask me to do, I won t do it.' "This illustrates, In perhaps extreme form, what we popularly mean by the term 'contrariness, or negativism. Far from being an abnormal or pathological condition at the pre-school age, it has been generally considered just a mood characteristic of the age." . "Since there i* this peculiar common to the young child, wf thought that it would be extremely to Uw some of the manifestations of this behaviour. Our etudy wae not one of causes but of a preliminary and exploratory step toward an understanding Sthewoblems. More must be known before we can definitely decide on causes."