PARISIANA.

Auckland Star, Volume LVII, Issue 7, 9 January 1926, Page 34

PARISIANA.

NO OBJECTION TO COLOUR. A RESTAURANT INCIDENT. (By GEORGE CECIL.) The President of the Republic, greatly annoyed at the conduct of certain English holiday trippers to Paris, has issued a stern order. . . . "In future," reads the mandate, "strangers must conform to the customs of France, otherwise stern measures may be found necessary." It appears that a family party from Liverpool had sedately taken their seats at a restaurant table, when a Senegalee, blacker than night, and furnished with rolling eyes, flapping ears, and an expansive smile, sat at the opposite table. Taking off his collar, in order that he might swallow more freely, and unbuttoning his waistcoat from end to end, so that digestion might not be hampered, Sambo plunged his fingers into a specially-ordered bowl of rice. The unorthodox spectacle so disturbed the Liverpudlians that the senior member of the party demanded the expulsion of the unmannerly blackamore. While the maitre d'hotel was explaining, in halting English, that in a free country people were at liberty to eat as they pleased, Sambo, imagining that his antics were admired by the infuriated white people, rose to higher flights. He smacked his blubber lips, wrinkled a perspiring brow, cracked each finger-joint with detonating pffect. and drummed on a plate with his elbows. Not content with this musical exhibition, the simple child of nature leered horribly at the eldest lady of the party, a highly-respectable matron, and. drawing from his diisky finger a ring of Senegalese workmanship, brandished it before her horrified eyes. The next moment the male Liverpudlians had thrown themselves upon the indiscreet coloured gallant, the affronted matron (virtuously looking like nothing else on earth) standing in the offirg, hatpin in hand. The police were called in, and the diners, after being made to pay for an unfinished dinner, were hustled off to the "station." Eventually Sambo and his opponents were dismissed with a caution, an interpreter explaining to the inspector that no really circumspect married Englishwoman accepts the homage of a black man who has not been urmally introduced to her. "A ma. race!" was Sambo's comment, and the minions of the law agreed with him. Meanwhile, the Government has heen at pains to explain that the Senegalese, being French subjects, must be treated with courtesy by British trippers. Incidentally, the Parisians have no objection to colour. Endangering the Football "Entente." A most astonisning rumour has been circulated in Paris, to the effect that English football teams fight shy of playing in France. It even is alleged that the Briton declines to meet the Gaul, fearing defeat at his hands, or, in the event of the English team winning, a knife-thrust in the pericardium. Presumably, this canard was "put about" by evilly-disposed persons whose delight it is to make all- the mischief they can between two allied nations, who are —or, most certainly, should be —bound "by Steel bands. Of these mischief-makers there, alas, are many.

It is true' that in isolated cases Parisian footballers have not relished being easily beaten 'by a British team. Recently, an Association eleven, composed of English shop assistants and bank "clerks, employed in Paris, accepted a challenge from an all-French team and easily vanquished the challengers, who, it must be confessed, cut a poor figure. The match over, the unsuccessful players said terrible things, which cannot be reproduced in cold print, while the French spectators rudely jeered at the conquerors as they left the field. Seldom has the languishing entente been more strained.

There is, however, a bright side to the picture. A few days ago, a Chatham team crossed the Channel (and not without being horribly ill), at the invitation of the Dieppe Football Club. An Association match took place, resulting in a tie of three goals alf, the players on either side being impartially cheered by some five thousand spectators. Each enthusiast (the Press representatives, the special force of police, the cinema operators and two hundred visitors from Chatham excepted) paid three francs admission. All 'parted" cheerfully. ,At the conclusion of the game the Dieppe captain officially embraced the Chatham captain, kissing him, French fashion, on both cheeks. The Briton, though taken aback, bore the infliction stoically. Tweaker's Nose Tweaked. Should a Parisian wish to insult a person whom he- dislikes, perhaps socially and more often politically, several methods are placed at his disposal. He may cast aspersions upon the virtue of a lady dear to the individual whose blood is sought, and not even the law can pfSVent'his calling the hated fellow "un sale Boche"—a form of disapproval which is particularly resented. Or monsieur, if a newspaper owner, may insert a scurrilous article to which a parfait gentilhomme, being a man of unstained honour, is bound to take exception. To be unjustly accused of breaking up a happy home, of being a German in, disguise, and of holding shares in a questionable venture, annoys the meekest citizen. Naturally, he foams at the mouth, and, like the Kanakas, sees red. Lately, a quarrelsome depute, who is not really contented unless he is settling disputes at the sword's point, greatly hurt the feelings of a colleague with whose politics he did not agree. No better excuse for a sanguinary encounter occurring to him, the ruffian bawled, in a hyena-like voice: "So you smoke English cigarettes! With your antiRuhr sympathies, you should patronise German tobacco!"

And, with that, he viciously tweaked the gentleman's nose. The affront, having taken place in a. cafe at which political.lights foregather, could not be overlooked, and the victim of the onslaught was quite ready to fight. But he demanded the right to choose the weapons. > "Dynamite, anything you prefer," replied the unabashed aggressor, savouring a glass of rum— the national tipple. He whose nose had been so rudely treated swept off his shiny topper with customary Gallic politeness, and, bowing like an ambassador, smiled craftily. And, as will be seen, the laugh was on his side. Tlie next morning, at an uncomfort. ably cold and early hour, the nosetweaker .arrived at the meeting-place, accompanied by. the customary frockcoated seconds, a pair, of foils, and a case of duelling pistols. . . . "The idiot," growled the depute, "made no mention of weapons; besides, there is no third choice." . . . That, however, was where he erred. "I am," softly cooed the other party to .tha quarrel, "#o lament-

ably short-sighted, that I should be certain to thrust, or to fire, wide of the mark. Besides", I have no skill with either sword or pistol. So, the choice having been allowed mc, I propose doing to your nose what you did to mine!" He thereupon turned up his shirt-cuff., The seconds, utterly flabbergasted, pro- j tested, while the principal turned green I with indignation. But all in vain.; Before the depute had time to begin a ' speech (these people are prize jabberers), his nose was firmly grasped and most violently tweaked. s Nor could he give as good as he got, his arms being short, while those of the tweaker, a six-foot-two fighter, a>re abnormally long. After standing as much tweaking as he could stomach, an abject written apology was extracted from him. Tweaked and repentant, and feeling less pugnacious than he has for years, the chastened one is in the doctor's hands. I