"WATCH YOUR STEP!"

Auckland Star, Volume LVI, Issue 214, 10 September 1925, Page 16

"WATCH YOUR STEP!"

THE SLIPPERY PATH. " DEATH-TRAP " IN PARLIAMENT. UNSYMPATHETIC LAUGHTER. (By Teleg'-aph.—Parliamentary Reporter.) WELLINGTON, Wednesday. Good humour should prevail during to-day's sitting of Parliament—even though it drags well into the to-morrow. For, extraordinarily enough, after the bickering < bitterness and general irritation Which has characterised the Chamber during the last couple of weeks, to-day's proceedings began amid much merriment. This merriment was general excepting for one member. He did not Bee anything funny in the situation at all, and he protested. The more he protested, the more his brother members screamed with laughter. There is nothing more humorous than to see a weighty gentleman slide upon a floor and sit suddenly down. It is a thing that can't be done with dignity, and the action excites the risibility of all except the subject of the fall. This member did not fall upon the floor of the Chamber. But he described his precipitation upon the floor of the main corridor. Apparently the description was almost as good as the actuality to the minds of hon. members, for they regarded it as a great joke, advising him to "take more water with it," and passing similar pleasantries which, unfortunately, seemed to hurt their victim more than his fall.

Shortly after the House was releasing its face from the solemnity which accompanies the daily opening prayer, when Mr. Edie, the member for Clutha, arose to ask the Prime Minister would he make arrangements for a carpet to be laid to cover the bare patch of flooring in the Vestibule from the main carpet to tlie door of the carpeted so-called billiardroom or lounge. "A fortnight yesterday," said Mr. Edie, "I had a very severe fall there."

This was interesting. Members showed their sympathy by a gust of hearty laughter—something to which the august Chamber has grown strange of late.

"I am not the only one—others have done the same," said Mr. Edie, gazing around in perplexity at this not understandable hilarity.

There was another burst of merriment, en which Mr. Edie assured the House that it was nothing to laugh over; that though there had been talk only the previous day regarding a railway crossing that was a death trap, this uncarpeted patch in the vestibule was a greater death trap.

. "Will you cause a piece of carpet to- be carried across?" he .asked the Prime Minister appealingly, when a further eeream of delight had subsided. He added that if the floor of the vestibule had been composed of rubber it would have been all right —an observation which plunged the House into a perfect convulsion.

The Prime Minister tried, not very successfully, to preserve a grave countenance. "I think the question should have been asked the Speaker," he said. "He controls these matter much more than I do. As Minister of Public Works, I am only the workman and not Master of Ceremonies. But it seems a shame if that beautiful piece of marble floor should have to be covered up.

"Marble's hard," ejaculated a merry member, amid renewed laughter. "I would not like to call it a death trap," said the Prime Minister, reflectively. "But if you don't watch your step,* you might slip," he added. This rajnark was fresh oil on the flames of fun, which leapt right to the galleries. "I do not know whether I can suggest anything regarding the hon. gentleman," continued Mr. Coates, "knowing his convictions so thoroughly as I do." ,

Members mirthfully yelled their approved at this allusion to -Mr. Edie's teetotal and prohibitionist proclivities, but when the merry peal abated. Mr. Coates assured Mr. Edie that Mr. Speaker should be consulted to see if "some more equitable path" couM. not be formed for the hon. member.

Mr. Edie rose again as the next Crescendo died away, and sought a point of order. He was pained and puzzled by all this merriment at his misfortune. "I spoke a week ago. and the Speaker said he could do nothing," he declared. "I said I would speak to the Minister in Charge. I went to another Minister, and he said, ,'Go to the Prime Minister.' I go to headquarters —and he treats it as a joke," concluded the injured gentleman, indignantly.

"That's the end of the section," exclaimed Mr. J. C. Thompson (Wallace) dramatically—and set seething the pot of

fun again

"Take more water with it," cried another member, this instance of original wit raising the bubbles to the rim.

Then the Prime Minister, realising that Mr. Edie had been (and was) truly hurt—that gentleman stating his fall had cost him three days in bed—changed to quick sympathy, and declared that he had not in the least intended to make fun of the hon. member, or to make a joke of his disaster. Indeed, he would be glad to see if some arrangement could not be made for a safer method of travelling the precincts of the House for the hon. member.

Further advice from members to Mr. Edie to "interview the manager of Bellamys," and "wear rubber-heels." failed to freshen the fun anew, and the House proceeded to business.