MERRIER MOMENT.

Auckland Star, Volume LV, Issue 170, 19 July 1924, Page 18

MERRIER MOMENT.

I Junior Partner: I don't think n. I firm's sound. Senior ,»** 1 makes you think so? "Well v_ 1 hear them grumbling about CT I i things are!" ff Ml I i "You are the biggest fool that I \ I ever had the misfortune to set cv I exclaimed one lawyer. "Order * said the judge gravely, " y _u ' ° rde 'V' forget that I am in the room. ■** U "Did your uncle leave y ou .-_,.. Jack?" "He did." "Jac_.,_ e^% my hand." "He left mc his bwf. , "As I was saying. Jack, here's wL* i bag; please hold it while I fix mt v- " * "*■ m "f liair,"! a | Belligerent Person (after the fi,.., I An' 'oo are you larfiV at' tt,_ i 2! i One: MeT-I ain't larfln*." "Th!- 1111 * 1 1 yer fice straight." "If i, ...-J™' 1 i .tt • --o i 7 . Ia 'trai__t« rj'Ho, is it .-then just y ou bend ffi | | Wife (presenting hubby with birtM, present): I saved the money to fef? dear. Hub: How did you ™y "• it, precious? Wife: I bought S I the money you gave mc for a hat Z had the hat charged to your accost. "Why,"' said the insurance amif "insurance is the greatest thine in «, , world; no man should be without » I even carry a £5000 policy, payab] * my wife." "It's too much," I harassed prospect, "what excuse ca n ,»! give her for living?" ™ : "Mrs. Podgers is dreadfully afraid of embonpoint," remarked Mrs Gadsler i her caller. "That's a terrible disease" returned the other woman; "my f ' rite aunt had it, and the poor thin. I i just wasted away." • I ! "This is the fourth morning that I you've been late, Eliza," said the mi* I tress to her maid. "Yes, ma'am," «. I plied Eliza, "I overslept myself" I "Where is the clock I gave you!" «__, I my room, ma'am." "Don't you wi-j I |it up?" "Oh, yes." "And do yon-tft I the alarm ?" "Every night, ma'am I * set the alarm." "But don't you life.. | the alarm in the morning, Eliza?" «JK I ma'am; that's the trouble. You see tli I . thing goes off while I'm asleep." ' I

A DTRTY THICK The Artist: '"When I am dead tie sketches will be wortii hundreds'ol pounds. Yet here I am starring to death." Cohen: "Yes. and tf I lent yon flTe bdb on 'em you'd go and eat and sare yourself." Done Brown. "Mamma," said a little boy, who hid been sent to dry a towel before til fire, "is it done when it is brown!" She's Developed. Mrs. Mush: And has your daughter developed along musical lines white it school? Mrs. Blank: I should say so. Jnit name any record you want and ehi can tell you what's on the other side. Money Stringency. The Grocer: You ought to be doing pretty well now that you irife'a got that washing machine. Newt Neversweat: Well,l ain't. Ertry time I ask her for a little money nowadays she reckons she's got to make • payment on the danged machine. A Pleasant Surprise. "Hullo, old man!" exclaimed Dublfi at the Literary Circle reception. "Ifi a pleasant surprise to meet you here." "Good of you to say so, old chap,' replied Brown. "Yes, I was afraid I wouldn't find anybody but brainy and cultured people here." Overdose. A cad looking woman of matnrt years appeared on the street pushing a baby carriage, in which was a &A healthy infant, howling lustily. A friend approached. , "Why, Mrs. Lufkins!" she ejaculated. "What'a darling baby! But you havent any children. Whose is it?" , , wronjr. my friend," repW the sad-faced one. " "This is my ™J band. He went too far with the gla™ cure."

FAITH. _ .j Egbert: "Do yon think thisi hands can "ever care anything, ■■ Sam: "Well, if I could lay '•»*» ° \t •' boh I believe ltd uo mc th' xs '- * good,"