VOYAGES OF A NERVOUS MAN.

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 106, 5 May 1923, Page 6

VOYAGES OF A NERVOUS MAN.

AMENITIES OF CHEAP TRAVEL

LIFE ON EMIGRANT STEAMeb l

(By D. J. QTHHN.)

There is practical common sen=e h the old saying: When you can't affoj a hansom take a bus. -Recently lZ cided on a trip to South Africa, 'and 71 the cheapest way of getting there, toot an all-one-class" steamer. X o t without some misgiving of course. There C*i discovered on boarding the shin, no f a ,',l to find with the accommodation ZJg on the 13,000-ton vessel us from Sydney to Durban. We W it. in all save decoration and upholstery quite the equal of what the mail steam! ers of a few years ago were wont to provide lor first-class passengers. y ou could hays a one-berth or a two-berth cabin according to your purse, and on the promenade deck, too, with natural light and plenty of fresh air.

Three plain, wholesome meals wers served daily, together with afternoon tea and supper of bread and cheese, For those who like a cup of tea at 7 a.m.. and another at 11 a.m., facilities are afforded to gratify their desires The steward will fill your own teapot with boiling water whenever required or you can got it from the galley vonrself. Your bath is made ready for you in the morning, or. it you prefer it' in the evening, before retiring. Altogether you can make yourself very comfortable Much, of course, depends on your steward and on the opinion he has formed of you. KIXG DEMOS AT TABLE. The fly in the ointment may be your cabin companion (since cheap fares offer no guarantee of social status), or, assuming you are lucky in that respect, as I was, the people who sit with you. at table. On deck, and in the public rooms, you can pick your company, so far as cultivating aa acquaintanceship is concerned, but in the republic of the dining saloon, tae seat you are herded into at the first meal you are expected to retain to the end of the voyage. As likely as not, your first glance round the table depresses you. They arc a very mixed lot. As the meal progresses, you are able to winnow the <:rain from the chaff. Curious, how the sight of food affects some people! A primitive instinct seems to warn them that unless they get in quick there will be nothing left for them. We had men and women, young and old. who literally stuffed themsekes with food. Not infrequently ths greedy were obliged to leave on their plates portions to which they had helped themselves too liberally at the start. At a later stage when it was seen tliat then was no shortage of anything, passengers began to show restraint, though to the very last, when fruit was placed on the tables, certain persons sorted it over and helped themselves to the choicest before even taking their seats; an example which some others, wavering on the borderline of the conventions, ielt powerless to resist.

The plainest of food is not without savour if eaten in agreeable company. I!ut if your opposites come to ,faSfe collarles's and coatless, with elwb rolled up and a hairy chest shoM through the open shirt-front; if,_ to your right you have an infant of foor or five who slobbers soup and gravy and jam all over itself and the tablecloth, and. perhaps, on your own immaculate white suit: if, on your left, there is a man who insists or." thrusting his sleeve, into your plate rather than "trouble" you to pass him something, who wears the hcavk -x- of clothing in the hx weather, and radiates an esprit de corps like that which puzzled the sensitive nostrils of Queen Victoria at her first military review": well, if these be your table companions as they were mine, you are in a bad fix. However, Time mellows most things, and what it does not mellow it gives you the habit of putting up with. You discover, too, that these people who make so free and easy with the conventions, are not at all a bad sort at heart. Outside the dining saloon, one used hardly be conscious of (heir presence. For so large a steamer we were a comparatively small party—lso all told. We had plenty of space to spread ourselves out. and there was a sufficient sprinkling of professional people to make the voyage fairly enjoyable.

My return from South Africa on a steamer of the same elr.ss "'as. however, a vastly different experience. Here was the emigrant ship, pure and unadulterated. According to a Capetown newspaper, there were between 1100 and 1200 on board. This proved to be an exaggeration. The number did not exceed i>oo. Nevertheless, when I boarded tne vessel her decks seemed as crowded as a Manly ferry on Easter Monday. Short, nuscety ehaj.s. wearing cloth caps, swarmed every where. They reminded mc of a "bantam" regiment 1 saw drilling near Manchester in 1015. And running in and out amongst them were children— there were upwards of a hundred on board —in a ferment of enthusiasm. NIGHTMARE OF NOISES. To a man s»useeptible of noises, tie three weeks" run to Adelaide was one . prolonged nightmare. Kvery kind of instrument. from mouth-organ to bacpipos had its devotees, Hut niUSIC, whatever its ■'measured malice." was the least objeetionnWe ot" the r.nlsas. Tie most irritating, and the most incessant nf all noises that aluu-teu "- was the whistling. Kvery male, from the a-e of seven' up. whittled. Walking the necks, Pirling in the |Miblk- rooms, selecting bonks in the library, gazing into the spa, or stolidly stnrimr i" :u vacancy, whatever they' did when not actually talkinp, ratinir nr slrepinj, they whistled; and what th.-y ivh'stled'waa as innocent of tune as a factory Imzzer. The smokmg room was rSodlam incarnate. Only a man of iron nerve could remain in u»« smnkin.' r-om mnl retain his sanity. Rut whore to llyV My cabin on the promenade dock was ™ually unendurable. Outside mv ninilnw was "« wsy corner which two'fiuniiies u«-il :s living , quarters from early morn till long past dewy eve. and amoi, ,*\r I.iW stood out ,: cii;iiil- of ••(..■fants terrible." who were iho wim.li.r .■.:. 1 .-.- :•■ Em-nt nf the ship, because of the manner in which they defied and i..;i".h! :h.-ir parents. Tie oniy refuge fro;.! the ~hri-.<ks arul clamor ~f t!, P i:.:-.,.,, ~,-,,,-),| w.is the ■■»'!' decA ' :,, .:,],;,.,, ~.,;iar , n ~,.,-,. not Rflmlttei life re:olve-l i'--!' '■<■•■> ;■ frenzi.-d c0m- ;..., ~.. i ....■ ~.,,, , „ ,;.-. terrors « •)<.' >• "•: : t-.l :!i • 'lirf. In * s th- •■ "vei-i- ' run fn-i-.i (.a-rfnwn I :,, ,-,;. ...| : i .-.• •_,. ~ a nijht. One ,], ..,, ■ . ~,,., n ;, i ~.,., • ~|-.; ; ,i:rs, EDfl i-':-'-flr-i '•■/!♦!• '■';■' -nil. !• i- 'that A" 5 " ••■V ■-.:• ,'■■ 1,,-e ••<■' -•■!,.:■= «!*' , ;.,, . .', ■■;■.,.,; j,, wi'.jril !O I>lOW O^ whistle to their heart"s content, without i!ic sauitj ai llie natieit