THE WIDOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 106, 5 May 1923, Page 17

THE WIDOW.

BUTT OF JESTERS.

(By QUACK.)

take tho mother-in-law, tire widow bus long V 1 <"° b,llt of i° s,(,l> , i,ml in fiction, I'nAa 'I'.iliy, and I he elder Mr. Welter, have d m< , much to bring the widow within tin- range of comedy. Married women atlil greatly to I lie disabilities of their widowed sislers by their too-cvide.it alarm wl Ihe husband shows any liking for the company of a widow, ilrr smiles arc dcfcribed as -ertfiil.-- her remarks us h, short, ll.n hnsWl feels himself bring lirinly protoeleu. ill- , though from what, is nof *-lcar. I heiv is il popular ecries of pi.-tunre consisting of I three prettr women. <-:u;h in v different | costume andrntulcd-Thn World,-"Tho ITesb" an.l "Tho Devil. , ' Tho third picture represents a c.rl in widow's ••weeds. ,, Tho dainty widow's Jmnne of black and white, »iil. H.o flowing l.lai-k veil falling in graceful fol.ls l.cl.md. 1 do not rememW »h.. did this dreadful thing, 'but the cruelly nf it uiado its success. I Of the widow who Tins had a nappy release there is no reason to speak with Bvmpathy. Believed of what may have been an almost insupportable burden, silent congratulations only are appropriate, and of the widow who originally | married for simple commercial reasons, who sold herself at a price fixrd by herself, and has received her payment, our thoughts may not be complimentary, but we can give to her such commendation as a simple commercial transaction completed deserves. But to the ■widow who goes nightly to rest, and rises each morning to the knell of "Dead! dead! dead!" to whom a chance word, a familiar sound, a picture, or a melody, ■brings daily the recurrence of a lasting grief; who sees, both in the past and in the future, what mig':it have been, and now can never -lw. to her there is no courtesy, no sympathy, no love, which we are capable of giving, too real and heartfelt to be freely given, aa a partial recompense for her loss. But when the grief is deep, although in essence it may be logically eelfish, there is an "(Tort proportionately great to hide it from the world, and one needs to look below the surface whereon is made so brave a show to learn how courage may conceal the ravages of lonely hours. That any man can hope to efficiently replace another who has been truly loved, and not be daily weighed in the balance against the memories of his predecessor, exhibits a lack of comprehension of feminine character. When Queen Mary 6 aid that the word "Calais" would be found written upon her heart, she spoke in poetic fashion of the durability of all impressions upon feminine minds. A true woman can give her love but once. The second husband has no reason to expect anything but the cold pudding from the .banquet, warmed up for him, maybe, but "leavings'' none the less. Experience teaches, but no two men being alike, tie remarried widow has to learn ..jie.B%clfitopefHßan<i w- eHc4v' partnerships involve an almost unavoidable treading on toes. So marriage statistics include s\ barometer of happiness, 'by which we can judge the results in terras of comfort, and ease of mind and Lody, which follow the re-marriage of widows, nor can ■we estimate the comparative success of marriages between widowers and widows and bachelors and widows. Dining the five years preceding the Great War, twice as many widows married bachelors as widows were married to widowers. It seems natural that a widower with young children should select as his second mate a mature woman of experience—for the sake of his children. That a. -widower without young children should seek a widow for a wife is not so easily explained, and that a bachelor should pass by all possible spinsters, all the lighthearted, gay and innocent young girls, and choose in preference a widow—one ■ who must ever carry with her the memory of close contact with death — is 'almost beyond understanding. Xo matter how youthful a widow may "be, she has had such experiences that never in the whole course of her future life j can Bhe be without certain reservations, I ■without, at least, one secret chamber of the mind, into which her second mate ] can never-be admitted. AVlierc widower and widow meet, this fact is clearly i -understood by both, and each respects the other's reserve without curiosity or Eharle of jealousy. The bachelor neither respects nor realizes the necessity for any secrecy. He bitterly resents tho possibility of a door securely locked and guarded against his love: "Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one"'; how can this lie when one o) the partners has a "past?" How then can one account for the capture of these bachelors by widows? (There were two hundred aiid eightyfour each year—on the average), und low account for the neglect of the eager-to-be-mated spinsters? A widow with one or two pretty children ha 3 a groat "pull,"' both for the childless widower and the unmarried man. Few women know how greatly most men love children. It is not always the widow herself who proves the attraction. If she hus a child who once wins the heart of a good man it will not he long before that child is being taught to call him "Father!" Jlany terrible tragedies follow from the marriage of a young man with a widow who has a daughter. ■ The daughter grows; the widow at;es; tho daughter blooms; the widow fades. Her second husbanu finds himself drawn towards the daring, dashing, young woman, who now calls him "Father" in a spirit of mischief, and with a glance, which topples "Father"' from bis Pedestal, and sends cold chills down his epine. Such harm aa this is done before any one of the three can guard against it,-and, in strict justice, upon whom would the blame rest? If the widow who re-marries lias a Bon, the foster father, the step-father, must be of exceptionally sound material m no conflict arises, no triangular contest, in which the step-sou is the upex of the triangle. Throughout the history of the world sympathy has been demanded for the Widow and the orphan. The complications which ;iriso when birth, and Carriage, and death, progress in orderly, unbroken sequence, :ire manifold; but when remarriage of widows is considered, when a second ticket is taken in litVs lottery, the adventure hristles with dangprou* and explosive possibilities; there is grief, and cruelty, and ruin, and peace, and love, and happiEecond ticket she must draw it in fear a nd trembling. There is much wisdom m. the East, and not the least of its wisdom is the Eastern method of denoting the advantages of a life-long Widowhood.