RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LI, Issue 104, 1 May 1920, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS

Some write a neighbours name to lasn, Some write—vain thought—for needful casti,Sonic write to please the country clash And raise a din; For mc, an aim I never fash, I write for fun. « ». I do not find the pressure of great events conducive to a flow of bright comment. It was difficult, for example, to write in this column in the "week of victory eighteen months ago. This week, whatever ibent I have in this respect is oppressed by the Royal visit and the railway strike. I see nothing humorous in the railway strike, unless it is the grim 'humour of the State getting into such difficulties after all the talk there has been of the heaven that would result from socialism. There is humour in the Royal visit, but the general impression left on loyal people—and about 100 per cent of Auckland appears to be loyal, judging by what happened when the Prince was here —is a serious one. I would not care to be the person who [could watch unmoved the arrival of the Renown, and could contemplate without emotion all that the visit of the Prince signifies. Po let us 'begin this week on a note in keeping -with the hour. •irtrtrtrtrtrti The strange fact that the Mayor of Hamilton ivna only a private in the Expeditionary Force was the subject of published comment during the week. That surprise should :be expressed 6eems to mc more remarkable than the fact itfiolf. By no means aH the brains of the Army were to be found wearing stars and a roll collar. But perhape if the authorities had«known that Mr. Watte ■was going to be elected on his return they would have insisted upon his taking a commission. During the week I had a visit from a lady friend with a fighting gleam in her eye and a broken umbrella in her'hand. "Do you see this?" she said. I was duly sympathetic. "How did it happen?" I asked. "Were you early dooie at a drapers' eale, or were you trying to get on to the station platform for the Main Trunk?" "It happened," she replied, "at the civic reception to the Prince of Wales, while I was helping to etorm the ladiee' dressing-room. You've no idea what it was like. There we were, hundreds of tie, all trying to enter and leave tho room by the same door. When I got inside tho crush 'was ao great that; I couldn't stoop down to change my ■shoes. Do you think I can get compensation for this?" "Well," I £aid, "there's no harm in trying. The City Council may he in an expansive mood after the Royal visit. I'd add a little for moral and intellectual damages if I were you." One thing eecme pretty clear from tho crush at the civic reception, that the city should either enlarge the Town Hall or cut down its invitation list, and, of course, the latter is not to bethought of. There wore far too many people there for comfort. Supper was a scramble. I am told it usually is at such functions, but is improvement not possible? The men were the chief offenders. Some of thorn would go up to the cupper table, .get a plate of food, and stand eating it there, co that the eccond line of supperhuntere had to stretch out over their shoulders. What 'was wanted was a tram conductor with hie familiar /'Pass right along there, please!" •CrbtrCrCr&i* A point of etiquette that seems to be entirely ignored by civilians is the compliment that should be paid to regimental colours. I noticed this during the proceedings in Queen Street on Saturday. Twice a guard with colours marched up tfie street through the crowd, and the Territorials lining the way presented arms as it passed. But of the men round mc none, paid the colours the proper respect of taking off his hat. The same indifference or ignorance has been, noted in London, so colonials can hardlySje- blamed for not paying the compliment. But it is a pity that the etiquette is not generally observed. Colours are the outward and visible sign of a regiment's life and achievements, and to-day, of all times, they should be treated with the respect due to them. trtr-frtrCrtrtr Dogberry: ''"You shall comprehend all vagrom men. You are to bTd any man stand in the Prince's name." Watchman: "How if lie will not stand?" Dogberry, "Why. then, take no note of him, but let him go, and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you arc rid of a knave." The foregoing appears to be the method adopted by the Allies with regard to the ex-Kaiser. Having demanded that he stand (for trial), and I having been met with a. point blank refusal, the Allies are now no doubt thanking (Jod they are well rid of a knave. But are they? | ■irkH-Cr-Hrb-b I AYe arc all deeply indebted to the | " Herald " for the meticulous accuracy with which it reported the Prince's daily, hourly, and '"minutely " doings in Auckland. From what I hear, however, all has not been told. The following paragraphs were no doubt omitted owing to lack of space:— " A very pretty instance of the Prince's ' charming manner and lack of ceremony I occurred at a dance given during his i .stay. While his Royal Highness and a . partner were walking across the ballroom I 'the lady dropped her fan. Tnstead of j summoning an aide-de-camp to pick up ' the fan. the Prince graciously stooped down and picked it up himself." " When the Prince invested a pound on a ticket on Railway Strike at the races yesterday, he put his right hand into his risht trousers pocket and pulled out a note. The note was folded, and the Prince carefully r.nfolded it anf handed it in between fin-"' an;l thumb. The number of th- • •••« 120.000. j.vhieh, by an extraor " "1 happy roinei- / dence. is the .-:).,; i!:.' population of ; Auckland." '" Several interesting things have ibecn ; noted about the Prince. He takes oli' his hat with his right hand, and seizes it by the frown, not by the brim. He always steps out of his car right foot? first. T&p. puts his cigarette into his mouth 'before he lights it, and always smokes [Name of brand of cigarette deleted by advertising department.] When he strikes a match he holds the box in his left hand and the match in his right." f j