RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLIX, Issue 82, 6 April 1918, Page 14

RANDOM SHOTS

"MMDIEII?

Some write a neighbour's name to lash, Some write—vain thought—for needful cash, Some write to please the country clash And raise a din; ' For mc, an aim I never (ash, I I write for fun. , ■ 1 I suppose the Germans will defend themselves with respect to the massacre j of a church congregation in Paris at Easter-time by saying it was not the . German god that these benighted people were worshipping. 1 ±±±±*±**±* The Australian Government is again considering the recruiting problem. It seems to mc that the inducements ] hitherto held out to men to enlist dl*' • play a lack of imagination- Why not ' offer a free pass to all picture theatres for five years, and, if that wouldn't , suffice, free entry to all racecourses for ten! ' ********** ' It is interesting to know that Private P. C. Webb travelled first-class on his way to Rotorua, en route to the prison j camp. Ordinary privates, whose ujti- « mate destination is the less comfortable I firing-line, have to travel second. It is also interesting to know that Private Webb visited Whakarcwarowa, and that '■ next morning he motored to the railway j station to see the train off, before going to the prison camp, lam sure the pub- < Jic is thirsting for fuller information ' about the hero's doings. Did the geysers play in his honour? M not, it was a grave omission on their part, which should be considered by the next 1 conference of the Federation of Labour. ********** The campaign against "kindergarten" has been rovived lat-oly, but with no better hope of bucccss than before. The good people who want to banish the 1 word probably do not realise how much inconvenience would be caused if the community carried "out their policy consistently and ruthlessly. For instance, the young man at a dance would not say. "Miss Brown, may I havo tho pleasure of a wait- with you!" but "May I have the pleasure of dancing with you in that delightful measure that used to be cplled by a short name, now for- ' bidden!" And the harassed sub-editor Ailing in war cables would have to delete "howitiers" »nd substitute "guns firing a heavy shell with a high trajectory." I don't think ho would do it ■ often. The fact is that "howitser'' de- ' notes a certain kind of gun, which no other single word would adequately describe, just as "kindergarten" is the only name that desoribes a certain kind of school. Such words are imbedded in . the language and become part of its living tissue, and it is both unnecessary and harmful to attempt to remove them by an operation. ********** The British Army is getting plenty of compliments these days, but not one more than it deserves. "Behind the defensive | lines are the incomparable British infantry," wrote the "Matin's" expert. 'There is nothing more to be said." This strikes mc as about us line a tribute as could be i penned. The Americans, too, are warm jin their praise, and ono may hope that the way in which the English units be- ■ hayed in this retreat will kill the linger- ! ing belief across the Atlantic that England does not bear her fair share of the | fighting, but leans on coT_/.ial and "Celtic I fringe" troops when a __>ecial effort has to be made. The brunt of this gruelling retreat was borne by English troops. It , !is true that colonial infantry was thrown I into the battle at .a critical stage and acquitted itself magnificently, but the I retreat had then been going on for some days. Americans will appreciate the English soldier still more when large , ' numbers of their own troops fight side • !by side with him, as they will soon be doing. ********** ! Talking of the war, it is curious how ' events on the Western Front have almost obliterated Russia and her chaos from our minds. In the middle of last week's excitement a cable message came in reporting that the fall of Petrograd was , imminent, but I suppose it was read by many people with little or no interest. Six months ago such a message would have been a star item of news. It is j. not merely that we have given up Russia as more or less hopeless. It is also that the average mind cannot at the same r time be excited about two such big tilings as the Western offensive" and Russia. Events move so quickly that the I j Russian revolution and even the accession of Lenin and Trotzky to power seem ,to belong to the dim and distant past. i ±±_-*i**i±* ! The other day I drew attention to tha j revelation by Mrs Lloyd George that it was only in comparatively recent years that the Prime Minister's house in Downing Street was provided with a bathroom. A companion paragraph to this has caught my eye in an American paper. It wub gravely chronicled that December last was the sixty-seventh anniversary of the installation of the first bathtub , in the White House at Washington. There was no stationary bathtub, with the necessary attachments, in the White House when President Millard Fillmore took up his residence there in 1850, on I the death of Zachary Taylor. Although a man born under the poorest circumstances, and entirely self-educated, he seemed to have become accustomed to | the niceties of life by the time that he reached Washington, and before he had 'been very long in the White House he j insisted upon being furnished with the I same means of bathing that he had j : enjoyed while comptroller of the State' ,of New York, and afterwards as Vice-! (President. It was not until six .months ! after his installation at the White I , House that the bathroom, the bathtub.l I and the plumbing arrangements were j completed, the event being noted with! j due regard to its importance by the! I Washington newspapers, with the result! that the provincial and rural Preas took, up the matter and fiercely- assailed Presi-' dent Fillmore for his luxurious haibits, | and for his departure from the demo-j cratic simplicity of his predecessors in! office! This sounds like a passage from 1 "Martin Chuzzlcwit." Now 6ome people arc beginning to wonder whether the President is not aping the customs of royalty. When Mr and Mrs Wilson arrived at a recent ball they were re- , ceived with trumpet blasts, and the | guests divided to form a lane, along. \ which the White House passed. [