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RANDOM SHOTS

Some write a neighbour's name to lash Some write-vain thought-for needful ci.sU Some write to please tne couutiy clash, And raise a din. Tor mc, au aim I never fash— I write for fun. 4._4i_t|»_>_r>_ _4r I trust that tho weather may be considered a seasonable topic this week, and I hereby take up my protest against Mr. Clement Wragge. Since ho started out as meteorological expert this unfortunato country has had tho worst experience in the way of weather that St has ever been my evil fate to meet. And it seems to mo that he adds insult to injury by endowing his storms and cyclones with such aggravating names. "Dido" has been giving us a groat time this week, and now it Beems she is to be followed by "Father Anehises,'' and "pious Aeneas!" and presumably "Young Julus," and all the other members of the royal family. It gives one quite an eerie sensation to bo confronted by these romantic titles! in fact, nowadays, I trather expect when I go home late at night to seer "Father Anchises " looking over the hedge or "Dido" beckoning from across tho road. B3- tho way, certain newspapers unfeelingly described the last spurt of the storm as " Dado," and quite, a respectable joke has been perpetrated thereon. Scene: Queen-3t.; time, rainy day this week; enter elderly gentleman rubbing his hands; to him enters young person fresh from college. " Cold weather, Miss," says the old party; almost like snow. 'Dido' again, I suppose. By the way, I see that one of thoso confounded papers calls her 'Dado'—now why?" "I presume," says the young person fresh from college, "tho reporter thought thero was some connection between a 'dado and a 'freeze.' Old gentleman, not quite sure about it, is left rubbing his hands, and wondering at the levity of the rising generation.

*l t 'i"&" , -'rJ* , i ,, _ M _"4"— I foresee that the modern aeronautic Craze is going to prove rather an infliction for some or" us. To "plane" will shortly be not only the ambition of every enterprising man but also tho test which lovely woman will impose whenever she wants to prove the depth and breadth of the adoration of her admirers. The first illustration of this painful truth is Mr. Hubert Latham, the Anglo-Frano or Franc-Anglo, who has been trying to fly across the Channel. According to the •'Daily Express" there is a romantic reason for Mr. Latham's pertinacity. He is engaged to be married to a certain young lady, but she refuses to "name the happy day" till Mr. Latham has flown from Calais to Dover. Now, I can't say whether this is true, but with all respect to the unknown young lady who honours Mr. Latham with her affection, I sincerely trust that it is not. What an awful prospect is indicated for the average young man of the future, if before he can aspire to the hand and heart of his "inamorata" he must be prepared to undergo the "ordeal by flight." In these rapidly approaching days, we will find certificates of proficiency in aeroplanig guarded by sentimental young men as their most precious possession, and no doubt in the melodrama of the future they will play the part so long successfully filled by the heroine's "marriage lines."

_*_»*_* _*f**t"_*'lr t '_* _ 'And what a vista of possibilities this opens up for designing women who desire

to secure the advantages of matrimony j without its responsibilities I "John," 1 says the jealous wife .to the confiding * husband, "if you love mc fly at once . from Parnell to Birkenhead." "Jane," ' says the confiding John, "I will." He " sallies forth to Henning's or elsewhere, ' hires an aeroplane or dirigible, as the ' case may lie, and is hooked Out of tho ; Waitemata later in the day, very cold i ' and damp, and dead. Subsequent invesTi-1 : cation revvals that John's balloon has ' ' Seen perforated by a hat-pin, or that aj ' hair-comb has been jammed into his | ' steering gear —and who is to connect this ' untoward event with the fact that .lane was solicitously hovering round the machine just before John bade her farewell on the front doorstep'; Oh, ycrr, .there are great tragic possibilities in aeronautics. But I don't like the idea of Ibeing asked to fly merely to show somebody that I am affectionately disposed toward her. Remember the Count do Lorges and his "ladye love," who threw her glove into a lion's den to see if her devoted knight would jump after it. Ho jumped in and got the glovo all right; but he then threw it in the lady's face, and subsequently, in the words of the Pilgrim's Progress, "went upon his way and was .seen no more," And I don't biamo him, either.

*____•_•*_•_•_ We have the highest poetical authority for tho statement that "the policeman's lot is not a ha/ppy one." Why, then, make it any less cheerful than it is its natural fate to be? My reason for asking this philanthropic question has nothing to do with Dr. Sharman or tho Police Commission—oh, dear, no! It is due to a cable from Sydney that r°ached us here tho other day. Tho Labour leader in tho State Parliament has proposed a measure that would have given the members of tho force in Now South Wales a "'Sunday off" every other week; and the Legislative Assembly threw out the bill. One Sunday a fortnight—just think of it, you householders who are i accustomed to bowing meekly before the demands of our omnipotent domestics! I The girl who spoils tho dinner can safely demand to be allowed out every night ! from 7 p-m, onward, and to "get off" every Sunday afternoon or a whole Sunday every fortnight, because you know very well that if you don't let her she will find someone elso who will. But the policeman only looks after you: hoiiße and guards your life and risks his own in protecting you—and If ho could find a better job he wouldn't bo in the lorce at all —so why should you make any concession to him? "Sunday off? Certainly not!" And then people wonder •why it is so hard to get decent men to join the police force and stick to it for _ tann of years.

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Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AS19090904.2.87

Bibliographic details

Auckland Star, Auckland Star, Volume XL, Issue 211, 4 September 1909

Word Count
1,048

RANDOM SHOTS Auckland Star, Volume XL, Issue 211, 4 September 1909

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