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WISE AND OTHERWISE.

(By "OLD SALT.") New Zealanders can never be accused of toeing backward in Coming forwatd, and it is quite in keeping With, the policy and methods which deaf Old Dick left us by -Way of heritage, that While the Commonwealth is discussing the advisability of offering a battleship to the Empire, the Dominion has offered one, and so set an. admirable example to her seniors. An article in a recent issue oi the London "Spectator" declared that Britishers at home and abroad had been living in a "naval fool's paradise," whatever that may be, for the writer appears to have forgotten that, in the paradise promised to us "there shall be no more sea," While, leaving the-1 *entence elliptical, it is difficult to imagine such a rare bird as o "naval fool." Anyhow, the offer is good, while the postscript to the effect that if one Dreadnought be not enough, another will be forthcoming, should certainly come first instead of fourth; only one adjective seems appropriate, and that is—magnificent. I really don't know a Good reason why "moa," Is alwn.vs pronounced as spelt "more." But now it's In keeping. With us, who unsleeping, Arc waiting Old England's encore! Perhaps the most striking feature of the ceremonials which accompanied the coronation of our reigning King — known affectionately as" "Teddy Eng-land"—wa-s the muster of overseas forces. In Whitehall alone might be seen samples of the Empire's defenders drawn from all parts of both hemispheres. West Africa and Fiji, Hongkong and l Jamaica, and, to quote from an auctioneer's catalogue, others too numerous to mention, were represented; while each unit amongst them stood for hundreds prepared to tey down their lives, so long Rβ the Old Flag is kept flying. NOleS3 pleasing is it, now that menace is in the air, that the dear Old Country's dependencies may be relied upon - to send to her aid the sinewa of war; across oceans the word is being borne, and to the loins to which We owe our existence, we are tendering our strength, most appropriately in the shape of "Dreadnoughts," -Which, it is to be hoped, the Mother will read to mean "Fear nothing." There are apparently no half measures in the public service departments of France. No less than eight thousand post-office employees have received twenty-four hours for reflection before being presented with the distinguished order of the "suck.". The principal part of the strikers' grievance appears to be directedi against the tinder-Sec-retary for State, who rejoice* in a name which is distinctly peculiar, and so with apologies to M. Simyan — With a "simian" In charge, of course, One looks for monkey tricks. This may be the explanation, Of the French officials' fix. They refused to carr.r "billets," For nf cause not clearly shown; With tne consequence surprising. That the postmen lost their own. It is extremely doubtful if Tom Bowling ever had a real existence upon this terrestrial sphere, or in that celestial one so vaguely indicated by his having "gone aloft"; but I do earnestly hope that "sheer hulks", where ever they may lie, are not possessed of consciousness. Better by far the breaker's yard than that a gallant ship should lie, a receptacle for coal or gunpowder, rotting in the element she once mastered; moored head and stern, a bond-slave fettered by commerce, while the little waves sob along her side whispering to her of all that has been. Pardon, messieurs et mesdames, the enthusiasm of an old sailor man, but a note appears in the local Press, intended to reassure the residents of Stanley Bay. and intimating that "for the future the 'Ruru , will not be put upon that run more often than is necessary." While, of necessity, the eyes of any sympathetic person must fill with unwonted tears at a fate so untimely, and ignominious overtaking the gallant little vessel; let us glance, through out tears, Nat the attitude of the ferry Co.'s directors:*— The powers that be no longer scoff. At passengers' advice; They've put the poor old Rmn off, Lest they should 'i-u'-e It twice: In a very luminous foot-note, to a cablegram descriptive of a crime committed in Rome by members of the "Blaok Hand" secret society, appears the phrase, "Mcinev. heincr o>. «.. c-.,'. «t „« _ lv

is at the root of the 'Black Hand'" i'ew Biblical passages are more often mis; quoted than this, which appears iri ihT First Epistle of Paul to Toothy eh I v. 10, and should read, "The love 0 , f money is the root of all evils," a vastly -'' different meaning. Another instance of the mischievous quotation of text with out context should, if only for Chivalrou. reasons be exposed. "Let the wo r n« keep silence" is an injunction frequeSlv attributed to Paul and hurled at lS woman but the apostle really wrote 2 • his Epistle to the Corinthians (I °h U ♦i M k "^ * our women kee P sile nce in the churches," and the dear creature ■ have always the option of staving awaY It seems that Mrs. Carrie 'Nation £ raising Cain and D nation in hei crusaoe against the London s<™£ sellers and it seems to mc that TL" - no good to throw Bibles at her so lons £ her smashing fa confined to Ba fi£ been^^^^mu^htoiS-ot--^ dimenaoM from which to choose { most embarrassing. Fortunately, I % solution passed by members of the Tfadw and (Labour Council relieves us of S embarrassment, for nvho can withhold their admiration when they read «W* approve the action of Mr. Long, endorse it to the echo." What u\£& ' by .bhe echo of an endorsement, l≤ admit, 1S not very clear? it >£*»** is suggestive more of sound than of sense; but, even so, it, may be wise to suggest a coulrtef-blast, in the form" - We admire the attitude of Mr. Harken*" a PP laud with an emphiti* Another wanderer has found a home,' . ior, in a contemporary, I read that- 2 Auckland doctor recently recetedl U rage: "Come at once. Jones ifctit death , , door; w e look to you to pull $1 through." Tha* poor old joke has *£ wandering through the gloomy i venues of tine for ages; it has taken nobody in ■ rtor, for years, would anyone takeJt In until a sympathetic friend found a ttlJe lor it in a column where its weaifnmi * s least likely to U noticed! : hon of the old-fashioned - music-hall, the dashing fellow with M dazzling high ha,t, gleaming diamonds and half-an-acre of efarfc froat, set the house in a roaT with— '•There's heaps t>l trouble In the Souee. 1 "' A prettj- how-d'you-do! . & My mother-ln-kw, is at death's door. ■-■ Please, doctor, pull her throngHl" .. | that joke has 'been growing, nrore and more feeble, so it is pleasing to thiiilc ■that in its hoary old age it has a hoie, if only with the halt and decrepit.

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WISE AND OTHERWISE. Auckland Star, Volume XL, Issue 71, 24 March 1909

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