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VIEWS OF CORRESPONDENTS.

(To the Editor.) Sir, —May I suggest that the money for the battleship to be given by thi3 Dominion to the Mother Country be not taken from the Government funds, but subscribed by the people. I feel sure the patriotic spirit of our countrymen would prefer that it should be voluntarily contributed; moreover, the present would be more appreciated as really coming from the people. Should this suggestion be acted upon I shall be pleased to forward five pounds as my contribution, and I feel sure hundreds of thousands will do the same.—l am etc., NGAURUHOE. "THEM DREADFUL NOUGHTS." (To the Editor.) Sir, —Who is goin' to say now that we ain't got no money in Xew Zealand? when the country is a offerin' the old country two big Battle ships on her own bat to save the old land from a-bein' mutilatted by that nation which is always a ruinnin' our trade. This morniri , mc an' my mate had a arguyment. He sez it's all bosh and bunkum. "Why?" says I. "Beeos," says 'c, "it is. It's only a advertisement to boon the Dominioun and it makes mc larf. Where the blazes are we to get three milion pound from excep' we borrers it 'from the old country?" "That's all right," sez I, "but " "Shut up," says he, "and come over the road and shout mc a drink, just as Sir Joseph i 3 shoutin' for this country at the country's Expens, and I will explain what a ass you are." So over we goes, and says he, ibangin 5 bis list on the counter after the first round, "Look hear, mate, it's just like this. 1 comes to you and says- I, 'look hear, Harry, if you lend mc five quid, I will] /buy you a watch and Chain, for we are old pals, and I am full of generrous impulses, for I know as how your old woman doant allow you much to spend. But if the Watch and Chain come to five })Oiind ten you must let mc have the ofcher ten bob." "That's no way of puttin' it," saye I, "the refutation of the Dominion is at staike, and " "Bosh," says he, "it's easy for mc to say to you 'will you axcep a prisent fTom mc of my new pleasure yot—l knowin' quite well as I ain't got no yot." "But," says I, "look at the good it will do to the country, even if the ofer ain't axcept. It will Encourage Capital." "Rot," lie says, "the people in London will say, 'What ho this! 'Ere is New Zealand a offerin' the oof for two Dredfulnoughts when she ain't got the oof; and you take it strate from mc the Adimiralty coves at name will say, 'thank you Air. Ward, i?e are inuoh Obliged to you for your Generos Offer, but we can't axcep. We are not agoin' to give ourselves away to Forieun powers by axceptin' an Ofer from you. On the other hand we can lend you a few milions to pull yourself out of your own Troubles." We had another Beer, and we were finishing, when he says to mc sollem like, "Look here, mate, and take this to art—if we purvides these ere Dreadfulnougihts you and mc will sufer for it. The price of a glass of beer will be eight Pence. Wβ must be praktical, and cut our coat ackordin' to the lenth Of our clobh, as the Bible says. You and mc ain't goin , to get no nitehoods or barrowneteies or corynets out of this ere ofer of .the Governmentt. If you knows your Bible you has Tead the story of how Pofctyfar's wife tempted Joseph, and as how he Refused; but ere is our Joseph ateinpting to temp the Empress of the seas to imora] relashuns." Then we 'ad anuther, and parted friendly.—Yours Respekfuly, WSUMM Dwrmua.

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VIEWS OF CORRESPONDENTS. Auckland Star, Volume XL, Issue 70, 23 March 1909

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