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THE STORYTELLER.

A TRUE SPORT. Buffalo Bill, who says that with hard wbrk a man should live to be a centenarian,: "talked at. a reunion of Kansas l .cavalrymen' about straight shooting. "It is hard work to learn to bo a good shot," he said. "We Americans are better j shots than most," he continued. "A French prince visited mc on my ranch once,' and' we went out after birds. I j came back with a full bag, but when I asked the prince what he had killed, he said proudly: 'Of ze bairds, none; zey I arc-too difficile; but of ze vild cows and ] calves, I 'aye nine ovair ze 'ill.'" WHY HE I&tGHED. A story, said to be new, of Balzac, is •related by a French contemporary. A burglar gained admission to Balzac's house, and was soon at work, by tho 1 light of the. moon, at the lock of the secretaire in the novelist's chamber. Balzac was asleep at the time, but the move-; ments of the intruder aroused him. The ■ burglar, who was working most industriously, paused. A strident laugh arrestee, his operations, and he beheld by the .moonlight the novelist sitting up in bed, his sides aching with laughter. "What is it that makes you merry?" demanded the burglar. "I laugh," replied the author of "Pere Goriot," "to think that you should come in the night without a lantern to search, my secretaire for money, when I can never find any there ,ip, broad xlaj-Jight." CIRCUMLOCUTIONARY. "If I were to give you an orange," said a prominent judge, "I would simply say, 'I give you the orange.' But should the transfer be entrusted to a lawyer to put in writing, he would adopt this form: — " 'I hereby give, grant, and convey to you all my interest, right, title and advantage of and. in said orange, together with its rind, skin, juice, and pips, and all rights and advantages therein, with full power to bite, suck or otherwise eat the same or give away, with or without rind, skin, juice, pulp, or pips, anything hereinbefore or in any other deed or deeds, instruments of any kind or nature whatsoever to the contrary in any wise notwithstanding.' " AND PLEASED BOTH. "Senator," said his private secretary, "here's a letter from the editor of the 'Skedunk Bugle,' who wants to know how you stand on the question of repealing the infamous tariff on wood pulp." "Tell him," said Senator Ptrimmer, "that—" "But here's one from a paper manufacturer who writes to ask you if you are going to allow the Benseless clamour of irresponsible newspaper men to influence you against the great principle of protection to home industries and cause you to vote for the repeal of that most righteous and necessary tariff on wood pulp." "Hm!" mused tho eminent statesman. "William, send the editor's letter to the paper manufacturer and the paper manufacturer's letter to the editor, and explain to each, in strict confidence, that a public man who is tiying to serve his country has to stand this sort of rot from ignorant or prejudiced constituents, who seek to dissuade him from the faithful performance of his sworn duty."

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THE STORYTELLER. Auckland Star, Volume XL, Issue 64, 16 March 1909

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