JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 129, 30 May 1908, Page 13

JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

Thare are hipokrits who are born so; they have no cunning, nor no malice, and don't even kno themselfs the extent ov their hipokrasy. A snob iz a very common parson who iz anxious to appear very uncommon. I would mutch rather a weak man would bo mi enemy than my friend. Wimmin will giv all their other poseshuns for buty; men will do the same for power. Fasliun makes fools ov all who follow her, and then pays them off for their ; servitude by laffing at them. Thare are very menny rich people vhoze welth we would be ashamed to I envy if \ve only knu how they got it. After a man haz reached the pinakle ov fame the safest thing he kan do iz to die immejiately. Of all kreatcd things, animate or inanimate, we find no fools, except among mankind. He who liaz the most authority, and uses it the least iz truly a nobel karakter. The world has alwuss longed for sensashuns. If a man could invent a new Punch and Judy, he would be admired more than the one who nould make one barrell ov flour az far as two. Yu kant separate wit from, truth; truth may not be wit, but wit iz allwuss truth. Our pashuns were not given us to be destroyed, but to be controlled. The man who told us " that virtew is its own reward," might have added that vice was. too. How strange it iz that a severe master allwuss haz more faithful servants than a lenient one haz.