MISCELLANEOUS ARTICLES.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 81, 3 April 1908, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS ARTICLES.

THE -MASTEB^Sr^TOtrCH.

' . i When, last, season, Richard Strauss, the famous leader of the modern"sehoqi among composers, was. in. America, he. happened to stop at a hotel in one city where the room on the floor above his own was occupied by an ardent admirer of his work, who had a large local reputation .as a pianist, and who, having a piano in his apartments, was, on a certain morning, interpreting some of Herr Strauss' music to a party ■of enthusiastic friends.

The American genius either did not know, or did not remember, that the sound of his playing could penetrate to the room below, and was evidently also ignorant of the fact that the great composer had been up late the night before, and wanted to sleep. There was, therefore, general excitement when the door of the upper room opened quietly and the master-musician himself stood among the company, and, his dressinggown drawn about him like a Roman senator's toga, for a minute mutely listened to the last notes of the composition which the local celebrity was performing. As soon as the American saw who had I entered -he rose from the piano-stool, I aglow with embarrassment, and, bowing ' low, waved his hand to request Strauss to take his place at the instrument. | Slowly, and still in silence, Strauss walked to the piano. Slowly he sat down. Slowly his fingers wandered i over the keys as if about to improvise, while the audience stood there, waiting the coming- flood of melody. And then, quite suddenly, the composer shut down the cover, turned the key, put it in his pocket, and walked out of the room, without a word. When, an hour later, Herr Strauss had finished hi s nap, the local genius found the key awaiting him at the hotel office, with three tickets for that night's concert. A BABRACK BOOM STORY. It was a nice warm afternoon, just a trifle over 110 degrees in the shade, and the soldiers in "A" Squadron bungalow were enjoying a quiet game at "banker" when lo and behold the colonel appeared on the scene, and the cards instantly vanished, and, so would the troopers have mizzlod also, had an ''Attention'" riveted them to the spot. Then the colonel's eagle eye roamed over the bungalow, and along the rows of bed cots, till it rested on one which was somewhat untidy, when, in tones which shook the tiles on thereof, he ordered the corporal in charge of the section to step forward, and, in a few r kind words, informed him that he was a prisoner for neglect of duty. The sergeant was then sent for, and, after being pulverised by the colonel's verbose artillery, was hoisted on the "shelf" beside the corporal. A messenger was sent off at full speed for the squadron sergeant-major, and a' minute later that burly individual trotted up from the mess. "You are the squadron sergeant-major, I presume?" the colonel sneeringly queried. "Yes, sir." "And you are supposed to look after the squadron?" i "I do look after it, sir." Ofi, you do!" 1 '""Yes." "Then," roared the colonel, white with passion, "why did you not confine the man who made up that bed?" "Because I could not do so, sir." "Why?" "He died of cholera last night, sir." The colonel quickly retired when the grins on the men's faces broadened into peals of laughter. STORY OF A SNUFF BOX. An amusing incident once occurred at a Scottish public dinner. Among the guests was a well-known Duke, who, in full Highland dress, had his piper standing behind his chair. At dessert a very handsome and valuable snuff-box, belonging to another of the guests was, handed round. When the time came to return it to its owner, the snuff-box could not be found anywhere, though a very thorough search was made. The Duke was specially anxious about it, but with no resultSome months afterwards the Duke again donned the kilt for another public ceremony—the first time he had worn it since the above dinner—and, happening to put his hand into his sporran, he, to his utmost astonishment, found there the snuff-box which had been lost at the public dinner.

Turning to his piper, the Duke said: "Why, this'is the snuff-box we were all looking for! Did you not see mc put it away in my sporran?" "Yes, your grace," replied the piper. "I did, but I thocht ye wushed tae keep it.' r

CONVENIENT BANKING,

The Bank Examiners of the Treasury Department have some odd and amusing experiences during their investigations of country banks, says an American paper.

At one small and primitive institution in Kentucky an examiner found a deficiency of one hundred dollars. Of course, an explanation was demanded.

The cashier made a brave attempt to look wise. Finally he took one hundred dollars from a private money-drawer. "There, that will nx it," he said.

"How will you enter that to make good the balance ?" asked the examiner.

The cashier looked bewildered, but finally said he w-ould not enter it at all. "You see," he remarked, "that drawer I just went into to make the balance is what we call the 'outs and over' drawer. Whenever we're out of balance we go to 'outs and over' to make tliipgs right Then, again, when the sheet shows more cash than we ought to have, the surplus goes to the drawer. Funny the city banks never thought of that scheme." """"' BILMAKBS DEFINED. John Horgan. the champion pool-play-er, told at a dinner in St. Louis a billiard story: '* Billiards is a tame amusement beside pool,* Mr. Horgan began. " Two Hindoos were once discussing the game in Calcutta, and I think that their idea of it was pretty near the right one. " ' What is this white man's game ot billiards that I hear so much about?' said the first Hindoo. "'Don't you know?' said the second. " ' No. Tell me.' ' " ' Well;' said the second Hindoo, 'billiards is a very simple game. Two men armed with long sticks poke at a bail on a green table, and one says "D— " -while the other says " Hard lines."' ".—Washington " Slat."