RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XX, Issue 267, 9 November 1889, Page 10 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

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SJS'SiS* a "ptaMxrart name to laah. SomnwS< cT VVa n tho*Bnt! for neerilesa cash, Homo write to please the country clash, Vm. r«« . And raise a din. JJor me, an aim I never fashIwrite for iun.

New Zealand communities are without doubt very confiding. It is our stock boast that colonials have cut their eye teeth to some purpose, but month after month fresh instances are forthcoming of the simplicity of the public. This weakness is not characteristic of any one section o* our people, bat appears to be equally shared by all. To-day, it is the turn of our neigh, bour to be victimised, and to-morrow the smile of amused pity has scarcely passed fromourcountenances when woourselvesare taken down. We are all apt to consider ourselvesvery smart people, and yet, however humiliating the confession may be, one is forced to the conclusion that we too frequently place ourselves at the mercy of any adventurous mountebank, at once devoid of dollars aud principle. I have almost insensibly been led into this train of thought' by the remembrance of certain disclosures of the last week. *** * # # * * * _ The audacious confession of the incorrigible Clainpett is unique in the religious history of the colony. Here we have a man wholly lost to all sense of shame. It is nob alone that he has confessed himself a fraud, bpt ho has disgracefully abused the hospitality of those who were so kind to him, •while at the same time he has held up to ridicule the weaknesses of those who behaved so generously in relieving his financial needs and filling his pockets with cash. Even in the candid confession he made there is a brutal frankness which is ropulsive. Nob one spark of gratitude seems to have touched the man's heart, while there Is not in all his confession one particle of chivalrous regard for tho ladies—God bless 'em—whom he victimised. * * * ■» * * * * * And ib is in this latter connection that one of the most humiliating episodes of his evangelical career is disclosed. We are told by the incorrigible Clampetb that the little hearts of the dear creatures went out towards him in warm sympathy, and that; their cheques and donations flowed in liko water. I am afraid those of the donors who havo husbands in struggling circumstances and needy families have much to answer for. Surely the pounds and shillings so thoughtlessly taken from the family purse might have been more charitably used in. providing the children with summer clothes or better food than in providing a hypocrite like Clampetb with the means for a prolonged carousal with congenial and kindred spirits. Ladies, your weaknesses are pitiful, and ib is also pitiful that the man who has sofbenod your hearts and won from you the contents of your purses should now be laughing at your simplicity. * * ♦*.** ■■■■"■"• ♦ ♦ .■■)'••' ■> » * * • We may all be forgiven a feeling of anger when wo read the narrative of Clampett's confession, and yet there is one very important element in connection with these disclosures which should not be overlooked. Clampett has declared himself a fraud, but we cannot close our eyes bo the facb.that, through bis ministrations many were brought to grace and found salvatiom What should we think of these ? It is undeniable that con versions were numerous at his evangelical meetings, and we may infer thab those whose hearts were touched have been leading better lives since their conversion. I do not wish to be thought flippant' or irreverent, but surely, my brothers, this is a ■proof that from a'little evil great good may come. Certain thoughts do rise in my mind when I think of this, but they shall not find expression. May Ibe forgiven, however, if I do suggest what a power for good Satan himself might be under similar circumstances.

Beturning to the " unconverted" athlete, however, I suppose he will be relating to the Yankees very shortly an ac count of his New Zealand experiences, particularising the success he mot with in evangelieine amongst the Now Zealand ladies — especially the widows. When singing that popular song, " What dear little innocent things they are" Professor Clampott will be able to extemporise between the verses to the edification of his audiences* on the simplicity of the religious sisterhood of this colony. In fact, tnenext we may hear of the " unconverted " athlete may be as the author of a book entitled " Autobiography of a Fraud," by Professor Clampett; or "How I Made £1,000." The wonder is that Clampett got clear of this colony without coming into contact with the police, more especially when it is remembered that since his exposure in Christchurch he had been almost constantly on the spree. The bold, bad man, when making his1 confession to a Stab reporter, said he thought he had done the weakminded women of New Zealand a lot of good, and there is not the slightest doubt that this is true to a certain extent. In future New Zealand should be a decidedly unprofitable field for people intent upon making money on " the religious racket." * * .* * * * * * * Hitherto, I was wont to believe that if & man was drowned, he was necessarily dead, but ray views on that head have been sorely tried within the last few days. Last week, 1 told you, dear reader, on the authority of a prominent clergyman, that if It had not been for swimming clubs he "■would have been drowned dozens of times. I could not doubt the word of a divine, so I concluded, that the reverend gentleman wns more favoured in the matter of lives than the proverbial cat. But now I have the authority of the morning journal for concluding that, this is not at all necessary. Speaking of a certain famous navigator, the "Herald" in its leading columns gravely informed its readers that he was drowned before he returned to France. I read further to see what became of him after he returned to France, but no additional information was vouchsafed, so I concluded that, like the good people in the story books, hs lived happily ever afterwards. ,' : '

It is curious to remark at the end of this 19bh century, incidents that Bhow how Jittle we are divided in many feelings from our ancestors of last centary, or , even of two centuries ago. There ,ia _ nof hing, ' nerhapa, so ,characteristic, of- the - jprosenb 4« as the spirit of scepticism arid scientific . inquiry, the result of our accumulations of knowledge; One would think that with the education now so common superstition should be dead, and *bat if we wanted instances ofV we .must go back to the, 'f?°rant Sines of our forefathers.; Nob so, 1^ is still Se common among even, educated people-I do nob refer to religion, but to

ordinary trivial matters. Only this week I know of the launching of a yacht being delayed so that ib should not take place on Friday. I sprained my ankle the other day, and our servant, a Sixth Standard girl, gravely informed me that it was because I spilb the salt in the morning. The little child of a friend died nob long ago, and his wife was sure that itwas because she had dreamt of a marriage. Numerous other instances will occur to the reader. Many readers will no doubt say, " Oh, ib is all very well to laugh, but I knew of so and so," forgetting that one swallow does nob make a summer. The causes of the survival of these silly superstitions are clearly the acceptance of tradition,, and the habit of arguing from insufficient evidence. *** * * ♦ # « * hxi enterprising storekeeper in the Karangahapo Ward bethought himself of a good notion on Guy Fawkes day in order to draw the attention of the boys to his stock of fireworks. The idea was to fit up a Guy and stand it at the door. As he had no old clothes on hand, lie just litted up a Gjiy with a stylish suit, and after admiring his ingenuity he went into his meal. Later on he came out again and found that the Guy had not only taken the attention of the boys, but that the boys had taken the Guy. After that he spent some time with the local constables trying to recover .his suit of clothes, in which he was ultimately successful. **» » * * # * V " Too much shop " was the judgment of Major Dane in giving his impressions of New Zealand, and cenainly Auckland has rather too many shops at present to meet requirements and give decent returns. Wherever tbero is a street with half-a-dozen houses there is sure to be one shop at least; indeed, there appears to bo about one shop for every half-dozen of the population. Even in tho main thoroughfares, such as Queen-street, Karangahnpe Road, .and Hobson-street, thero are rather more shopkeepers than can eke out a lair living. In Grey-street, for some reason or another, there are as many shops empty as occupied, while many of those that are tenanted aro used as private houses. Evidently there are too many in that locality for present needs. **'♦ * ♦ * # # » From the way in which shops spring up on every hand, one would imagine that shopkeepers made fortunes at the business. But a littlo practical experience speedily disabuse*) the unsophisticated mind on that head, and many of those who have em barked capital in ventures of thia kind have sadly awoke to the facb that, however interesting " keeping ahop >; may appear at first blush, ib is not all beer and ekittles. Competition cuts prices so low, and shops are so numerous, that to bo successful, a man must thoroughly understand the business, must soil a good article at an almost inappreciable profib, work hard, keep rather lons hours, know how to smile, be obliging, patient as Job, and havo the reputed wisdom of the serpent regarding the recipients of " tick."

Competition has its good aspects, I know, bub extreme " cutting " is one of the worst features of our present commercial system. I have in my mind's eye a case where a shopkeeper has vowed that be will sell goods ab a positive loss in ordor to oust another one who has opened on the opposite side of the road, and who proceeds on the same ungenerous lines. Not much of the " great human brotherhood " about this. As ib happens, the shopkeeper who is so firmly determined to close the opposition shop has a certain amount of the needful in the shape of capital, and, if one may judge from the great advantage this pre-requisite always Confers in commercial contests, the man with the lopgest purse will survive and the other go to the wall. This is probably but one instance of many others in similar undesirable circumsbancos.

And yet there are innocent folks who fancy that if they open a shop in some out-of-the-way street thab leads to nowhere, hang up a bunch of carrots or turnips, and put about two pennorth of peanuts and " stickjaws " in the window, they are going to do a roaring trade and rapidly amass a fortune ! In other shops with a few pounds' worth of stock, you will see in the window some stale apples, a bar or two of soap, some toffy, matches, a loaf or bwo of bread and several other incongruous articles, so Dromiscuously mixed as to repel anybody with the faintest ideas of taste, cleanliness and order.

There seems to be, indeed, a constant tendency to hava more shops than can be even fairly supported. This is probably due to the fact that anybody who chooses may open a shop and appeal for a share of the public's patronage, and also to the erroneous notion that little knowledge or skill is required. Moreover, when a shopkeeper does appear to be making a decent living, somebody is bound to open close by, and thus split up, if possible, one profitable trade into two of the opposite character. Don't ask me for a remedy ; like most other critics, I find it easier to point out defects than to suggest practical cures. At the same time, I fancy town congestion has much to do with the trouble; more people in the back country would probably strike a better balance between the rural and the urban portions of the population.

The whole matter of the number of shops depends, as doea every other trade, upon the; delicate and fickle question of supply and dsmand, and the certain way to provo whether shops, are wanted is by actual trial. At present, as I have said, there are too many to giro fair returns, and until population becomes larger this condition of things is likely to continue. Christmastime, now approaching, together with the summer weather, makes things better for the shops; but this, unfortunately, will probably prove only a temporary impetus. Taken altogether, therefore, the ordinary shopkeeper, worried as he is by bad debts and the other hampering circumstances mentioned above, is not to be envied his lob. Some are, no doubt, making money, bub my remarks apply to shopKeepers in general.