Our Future Empire.

Auckland Star, Volume XXI, Issue 4124, 22 September 1883, Page 6 (Supplement)

Our Future Empire.

Tin; following .smart .skit upon tlio colonial policy of Mr Gladstone's Government is taken from <sho paper " Moonshine : —Scene —Board school Examination, ISSS. Sixth Standard. —Examiner : Political geography is the first subject. Of -what does the British Empire consist —its area and population? Ist Boy :It consists of England' Scotland, and Wales. Area, 87,000 square miles. Population, 30,000,000. Examiner: And two yoars ago? Ist boy :In ISS3 it covored a fifth of tho habitable globe, and cad a population of more than 300,005,000. Examiner : How do we account for this remarkable decrease ? 2nd Boy : By the advent of a Radical Government which not only preaehod alienation but practised it. Examiner : Explain this fully. 2nd Boy : Thoir marked neglect of our dependencies and their sheer inability to comprehend colonial ideas gradually wrought the mischief. Examiner: Namo the iirst secession. 3rd Boy : Canada. Wo sent) her a governor whoso sole pretension to rule rested on the fact that ho owned largo Irish estates. Examiner : What elso ? 3rd Boy :He had seceded from the Cabinet,- was a Whig peer, and had to bo conciliated. Fxaminer : Tho next loss was 4th Boy : The Capo Colony, which had for three years been tutored and coerced. War succeeded war with unflinching regularity. Conventions and slaughter wore followed by slaughter and conventions, until, tired of tho monotony, the colonists took tho administration into thoir own hands. Examiner : Then followed - sth Boy : Australia and Now Zealand, who woro mutually disgusted, with tho New Guinea snub. Examiner : What next occurred 1 6th Boy : India throw off her yoke. The Ilbert Bill, approved of by the Homo Government, enabled tho native judges, who were all patriots, to issue warrants for tho arrest of all tho English generals and civil administrators. Examiner : And is India now^free ? 6th Boy : No, sho has beoome a Kussian appanage. Examiner : And our last loss ? 7th Boy :We had no further loss. Examiner: What about Ireland ? /tlißoy : Oh, I don't call that a loss. Examiner (to mastor): Sharpest lad in tho school. Give him tho first pri/.0. The enure examination is most satisfactory