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The Piano Disease.

The taste for pianoforte playing has become so general within recent years that a facetious writer has been tempted to compare it with a disease. The following is his amusing diagnosis :—Science is beginning to understand the disease known as " pianoforte," of which one variety, the grand, is particular dangerous. This malady unites three qualities which render it a perfect plague, it is endemic, epidemic, and infectious. Endemic because it is chronic and flourishes m all classes of society ; epidemic because it is propagated ■ with terrible rapidity ; infectious because it is contracted by a mere touch of contact. The pianoforte bacillus, or microbe, is called a "note." It is white, rectangular m form, »nd surmounted by a black appendix to which science has given the name of "sharp," and which has terrible properties. Sixty of these microbes may be counted on one pianoforte alone ! The symptoms of " pianoforte " are irritation of the fingers, horrible convulsions m the shoulders, and feverish agitation throughout the whole body. The patient cannot move the arms without producing alarming sounds which make the neare?* persons take to flight. Science knows all about the symptoms of this dreadful disease, except the means of curing it; and at the present day the malady gains ground so rapidly that a general epidemic is feared. Hitherto it has spared infants of tender years, but now even these innocent beings are no longer safe from its ravages.

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Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18900922.2.7

Bibliographic details

The Piano Disease., Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2524, 22 September 1890

Word Count
240

The Piano Disease. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2524, 22 September 1890

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