Hi folks. Complete the Papers Past survey to let us know what you’d like added over the next few years. ×
Article image
Article image
This article displays in one automatically-generated column. View the full page to see article in its original form.

How to Cook a Husband

Thefirst thing to bo done is to catch him Having done so, the mode of cooking him so as to make a good dish is as follows :— Many a good husband is spoiled in the cooking. Some women keep them constantly in hot water, while others freeze them with conjugal coldness ; some smother them with hatred and contention, and still others keep them in pickle all their lives. These women always serve them up with tongue sauce. Now, it is not to be supposed that husbands will be tender and good if treated this way ; but they are, on the contrary, very delicious when managed as follows:— Get a large jar, called the jar of carefulness (which all good housewives have on hand) ; place your husband in it, and place him near the fire of conjugal leve ; let the fire be pretty hot; especially let it be clear ; above all let the heat be constant; cover himoverwithaffection; garnish him over with the spice of pleasantry, and if you add kisses and other confections, let them be accompanied with a sufficient portion of secrecy, mixed with prudence and moderation.

This article text was automatically generated and may include errors. View the full page to see article in its original form.
Permanent link to this item


Bibliographic details

How to Cook a Husband, Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2464, 11 July 1890

Word Count

How to Cook a Husband Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2464, 11 July 1890

  1. New formats

    Papers Past now contains more than just newspapers. Use these links to navigate to other kinds of materials.

  2. Hierarchy

    These links will always show you how deep you are in the collection. Click them to get a broader view of the items you're currently viewing.

  3. Search

    Enter names, places, or other keywords that you're curious about here. We'll look for them in the fulltext of millions of articles.

  4. Search

    Browsed to an interesting page? Click here to search within the item you're currently viewing, or start a new search.

  5. Search facets

    Use these buttons to limit your searches to particular dates, titles, and more.

  6. View selection

    Switch between images of the original document and text transcriptions and outlines you can cut and paste.

  7. Tools

    Print, save, zoom in and more.

  8. Explore

    If you'd rather just browse through documents, click here to find titles and issues from particular dates and geographic regions.

  9. Need more help?

    The "Help" link will show you different tips for each page on the site, so click here often as you explore the site.