The House Didn't Adjourn.
He was a bibulous gentleman, but smart. The Adelaide "Register" in those days could get plenty of sober, -pious young men, but cleverness was scarce, a,nd so the principles of the proprietors, for once, were subordinated to the needs of the office. He did half-hour turns in the gallery of the Assembly, and hour turns over the three-star brandy bottle in the South Australian Club Hotel, across the road. Very often the reporters can't hearthe orating politicians, and a pretty good row would have to be made in the loft over the Speaker's head before the comfort of the Assembly was interfered with. The enterprising gurgler could go gurgling there without incommoding anybody but his brother "noctural. stipendiary scriveners." One day, however, an evil genius suggested to the leader of the sbaff that our liquor-assimilating friend might relieve a fellow scribe in the sombre Council. Here there is no wide gulf fixed between the reporter and the member. They sit on the same level and may hold sweet converse together as the debate goes on. The irrepressible "He " came to his work with the odor of three-^ star about his lips and a bottle or two of the potent liquid concealed about his person inside. He took pencil in hand and began to hurl stenography about his paper, but there was no satisfaction about the work. -At last he astonished his brethren of the pen and completely electrified the House by hauling himself totteringly to his feet, pointing contemptuously to the councillor who had the "floor," and ejaculating briefly, but with decision: "Sit down, you're talking sanguinary rot!" Then, before the hearers could persuade themselves whether ;6r not they slept, waked, or saw-visions, 'he waved his hand majestically towards Sir William Milne, and added :— " Misser Preshdent, I . move this blooming House adjourn."
Then the brandy hogshead was. taken gently but firmly by the collar and marched off through the green- baize doors towards the Parliamentary black hole. Mercy intervened, however,' and he was released in the lobby. Right opposite the newly-opened Club stood invitingly, and, leaving the Upper House and its orators to look after themselves, he once more sought consolation and three-star.
Permanent link to this item
The House Didn't Adjourn., Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2442, 16 June 1890
The House Didn't Adjourn. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2442, 16 June 1890
Using This Item
See our copyright guide for information on how you may use this title.