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LOCAL AND GENERAL.

A nod is as good as a wink to an auctioneer.

Bishop and Mrs Selwyn have given £3000 towards the co3t of a new mission vessel.

Witliin the last fifty-three years 100,000 couples have,, we are told, been united at Manchester Cathedral.

It is roughly calculated thafc £750,000 per annum is spent on the food and clothing of indoor paupers in the metropolis.

Old lady, to little boy caressing dog— "That's right, little boy ; always bo kind to dumb animals." Little boy—"Yes; I've a kettle ready to lie on his tail as soon as I get hini quiet."

Dr Saunders, a young medico of great promise, who lias for sonic time been a contributor to the " Lancet," is about to emigrate to New Zealand with a view of practising.

Wife—" How can you sit there and watch me cook, Houry, and not offer to help me one bit"?" Husband—"Why, I do the hardest part of the work." "You do?" " Yes; I eat what you cook."

A memorial of Elizabeth Barret Brown' ing in the shape of a clock tower is to be erected in the main street of Ledbury, near which town the poetess lived the greater part of her life, and where many of the principal poems were written. ' y '

Major-General Edwards, who inspected the Australian defences a little more than a year ago, has resigned his command at Hong Kong, where he is succeeded by General Digby Barker, C.8., so well known for his brilliant services in India.

A witty Frenchman writes in a Paris newspaper that a French major is a man who has had three decoratious; the third was given him because he had two, the second because he had one, and the first because he had none.

Another saviour of society has arisen, M. Larroi, who has applied for a five years' patent for a new high-heeled, pointed-toed electric boot, the weaving of which will cure gout, rheumatism, neuralgia, corns, and almost all the ills that flesh is heir to.

Lord Eldon was addressing his constituents one day, when a man in his audience shouted out, 5' Your father was a barber !" The celebrated lawyer, riveting his eye 3on the fellow said: Yes, and if your father had been a barber you would have been a, barber, too."

M. de Susini, a Corsican doctor, has, it is asserted, constructed a motive apparatus or propeller of 20-hoi-3e power, which is worked by sulphuric ether, a result which the doctor anticipates will realise a saving of the combustible material at present employed for setting machinery in motion.

The latest report states that 21 observatories are now engaged in the international undertaking of photographing the entire heavens. Each observatory will have to take about 709 photographs in the zone assigned to it, and it is hoped to finish the Avork in three or four years.

The five Republics of Central Americahave resolved upon uniting so as to form one nation, under a President to be nominated annually by each Stale, a Cabinet of five members, and a Diet of fifteen, in the election of which each State will bear an equal part.

The trade of the British Empire is estimated to amount at present to about £1,200,000,000 sterling per annum, which is nearly equal to the combined trade of France, Germany, Austria, Russia, and the United States; and the shipping required to carry on this gigantic traffic exceeds 126,000,000 tons. The Empress Frederick of Germany had a rather nasty experience in the course of her peregrinations about Naples. She walked ! info a jeweller's shop, quito unattended, save by her two girls, who keenly enjoy their i incognito shoppings. The Empress wanted i to buy a handsome vase, and asked the jeweller to weigh it ; and meanwhile the Princesses roamed about and began taking up jblila gem and* the other gimcrack, and looking at and criticising them freely. This ruffled the tradesman, who had not a ghost of a notion who his customers really were; he called them to order sharply, and on their mother answering for their doing no mischief, the jeweller told her bluntly that he had no guarantee for either her or their) honesty. At that, of course, the Empress I took an immediate departure, the mischiev- • ously amused girls in fits of lauahter as she I hurried them out of the shop; and the) tradesman was left to learn what manner of persons he had thus unceremoniously frightened away from bis eßtabtobmeut,

"My husband is so poetic," said one lady to another in a tramcar the other day. " Have you ever tried rubbin' his joints with hartshorn liniment, mum ?" interrupted a beefy-looking woman with a market basket at her feet, who was seated at the lady's elbow and overheard the remark. "That'll straighten him out as quick as anything I know of, if he ain't got it too bad."

The late Duke of Rutland, when walking one fine morning in his grounds, came across a game-keeper's child. '' Well, little one," he asked, "and what do you call yourself?" "For what we are going to receive may. the Lord make us truly thankful," replied the little one with apparent irrelevance. ,It seemed that .the child's mother's instructions had been—" If you meet the duke, be quite sure to say "your grace !"

Lord Bertie (the Earl of Lindaey's heir) and his Australian bride received a boisterously hearty welcome home'in Lincolnshire. At Uffington the tenantry took the horses from the carriage and themselves drew the bride and bridegroom to the hall, where a congratulatory address was presented. Needless to say Lady Bertie and her sisters (the Misses Cox) were much impressed and delighted by their welcome. •

Miss Pier, a young lady of twenty, is the first woman lawyer who has pleaded before the Supreme Court of Wisconsin, U.S. When she-first appeared in Court she attracted great attention, even the Judges following her argument' very closely; and at the endjshe was generally congratulated upon her legal knowledge, reasoning powers, and complete self-possession. She is a native of Winconsin, a graduate of the State University, and for ten months she was in the legal department of the Wisconsin Central Railway. , ~^T,

Those who laugh last laugh best. An individual, hawking bottles of a liquid he called "patent furniture polish," had sold to two officers of the Resident Magistrate's Court,; Wellington, a bottle each of the polish for 3s 6d per bottle, the contents turning out afterwards to be nothing but' raw oil worth 3d a bottle. The individual in questson certainly had the laugh of the two officers, but was not permitted to chuckle undisturbed. IJe was next day met in the street by one of them, and threatened with immediate arrest if he did net within the hour come to the Court office and refund the money he had received. He was completely taken aback, and sure enough within the prescribed time he turned 'up and handed over the amount he had received for the bottles, admitting as he did so tKat he had bougKt them only a few minutes before going to the office on the first qccasion for 8d Sipiece,

The death ia announced of a well-known solicitor, Mr Francis James Garrick, who died at his house, Papanui road, Chirstchurch, at eleven o'clock on Saturday night. The deceased gentleman, in addition to attending to his own private business, took a prominent part in the Provincial politics of Canterbury in the early days.' He represented o'hristchurch in t.he Provincial' Council for some years, and filled, fora while, the office of Provincial Solicitor. In 1884 he was elected to represent the then newlyformed district of St. Albans in the General Assembly. Deceased had not enjoyed good health fqr se,ve.ra,l years past, and on Friday week he aaught a (severe cold whiah accelerated his end. Mr Garrick's brothers have made honorable names for themselves in Australasia. One Sir James F. Garrick, Agent-General for Queensland, another, Mr Hector Garrick, was Attorney-General of Fiji, when that dependency was a Crown Colony. A third brother, Mr Atfr§d. (4arrick,* is a r.e.tir.gd Sydney meroharit, A fourth, Mr Edward Garrick, is connected with the office of Garrick, Cowlishaw, and Fisher.

It mil be in the recollection of the publics that my collection of apples, shqwn. in, Mr Clayton's shop in, E,ast s.treek being sixty-sijf varieties,, andalsq tho^e which took'two first awards at the Dunedin Exhibition and various other placas, was pronounced to be the largest and best ever shown in the Ashburton county. I would draw their attention my advertisement elsewhere. As I only jwark on blight-proof stojks 1 han which no. other stocks can foe relied upon, tho roots of my apple trees do not require to be washed before sending out. James Porter, nurseryman, Allenton.—(Advt.) ■ -

We clip the following important testimonial from the '' Illawarra Mercury " (N. S. W.) of the 30th March. It needs no comment:— '• Mr John Loveday, of the Bulli Mountain, writes to us that after suffering for four yearg with a?ute gravel, he has experienced almost complete relief by using Sander and Sons' Eucalyptic Extract. He says:—" Seeing the said Extract advertised in the ' Illawarra Mercury,' his intense suffering induced him to obtain a bottle of the medicine from Mr Hosking, chemist, of- this town, and that the use of it gave him great relief at once. He states that between 10th March inst., when he obtained the first bottle of the extract, and the 19th, the use of that medicine continued to afford him relief, to which he had been a stranger for four years. Mr Loveday writes also that he has found the Eucalypti Extract a cure for rheumatism as well as gravel. He requests us to publish this information through the' Mercury.' We have much pleasure in complying with Mr Loveday's request, whose word cannot be doubted, and who can have no object in view other than a pure desire to benefit suffering humanity."—(Advt.) - 2

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Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18900609.2.5

Bibliographic details

LOCAL AND GENERAL., Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2436, 9 June 1890

Word Count
1,661

LOCAL AND GENERAL. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2436, 9 June 1890

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