Default

Default

This article displays in one automatically-generated column. View the full page to see article in its original form.

A NICE SCHOOLMASTER.

. Whoever uses Webster's Dictionary will fin ) on tbe early pages the name of Mermm. Two brothers of that name inherited the copyright, and for many years they were the solo recipients of the immense profits of thit remarkabl" wort. Ona of the Merriatns, a crusty old bachelor, settled on LoDg Island, and b»c?me a schoolteacher, and dying a couple of yo*rs ago 1 -ft all lite fortune" to tbe United Statoß G vernment, though he h*d lots of relatives who are now :n---du triously trying to break the will. In his lifetime Mr Marriam was not a particularly pleasant neighbor, and one of his most pronouaced antipathies was red headed women. Tlie eight of those rich amber glories that are m variably acoompunied by a white horse, affected Mr Merriam like an attack of pleuro pneumonia, and ho found uo peace tilt the hated object was removed from his Bight. On© of the teachers m Mr Merrlom's school had thte distinguishing female glory, and the sght of her acted oj him like * bad oaae of mnlaria, bo he deter - mined to get lid of her or die. He hired ] boys to palt her with spit-bills, and one big country lout was bribed with twentyfire o-nU to kiss her before all the scholar*), m hopes that atter suffering this publio disgrace she would fly the school for very shame. Bat tbe teacher had bean there before many a time, and she didn't ocare for a oent, and would have kissed the whole school, male and female, including the janitor, rather than resign her lucrative position of forty five dollars a month. Then M« Merrlam bought a tin dinner horn about cix feet •ong, and he serenaded her for ihree weeks about two o'clock m the morning. Though the youog lady was not fond of that kind of music she refused to budge. At last he made himaolf such a nuisance that the whole neighborhood wan against him, when, fortuuately, o»a morning he was found dead m bis b d, and it was thea discovered that he had revenged himself on hia relations by willing all his property, some eighty or ninety thousand dollars, to the United Stateß Government. T-iere is not the slightest doubt but Merriam was mad as o March hare for ten years before his death, »nd he was only kept out of the lumu'o asylum by a lot of miserable pandero who aubmitted to his vagaries and kept him In his portion as principal of the fchool, m bopes of sharing m his wealth whvn he died it m a pleasure to know that they all were disappointed, and now let ua hope that the United States will do the graceful thing and turn the money over to the lawful heirs whom tho stingy old beggar ignored In his life, and whom he hoped to oheat In bis death.

This article text was automatically generated and may include errors. View the full page to see article in its original form.
Permanent link to this item
Bibliographic details
Word Count
484

A NICE SCHOOLMASTER. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2219, 6 September 1889

  1. New formats

    Papers Past now contains more than just newspapers. Use these links to navigate to other kinds of materials.

  2. Hierarchy

    These links will always show you how deep you are in the collection. Click them to get a broader view of the items you're currently viewing.

  3. Search

    Enter names, places, or other keywords that you're curious about here. We'll look for them in the fulltext of millions of articles.

  4. Search

    Browsed to an interesting page? Click here to search within the item you're currently viewing, or start a new search.

  5. Search facets

    Use these buttons to limit your searches to particular dates, titles, and more.

  6. View selection

    Switch between images of the original document and text transcriptions and outlines you can cut and paste.

  7. Tools

    Print, save, zoom in and more.

  8. Explore

    If you'd rather just browse through documents, click here to find titles and issues from particular dates and geographic regions.

  9. Need more help?

    The "Help" link will show you different tips for each page on the site, so click here often as you explore the site.

Working