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A BOON TO MANKIND.

Not content with the meohanlosl type sotting triomph, Mark Twain the itdefatigaole has invent ad and patented — not to make money, bat to economise profanity whioh might ba bestowed on more worthy objects-— a new kind of aorapbook, having light streaks of gam In the! proper places aoroas the pagea. Travelling journalists and actors '• on tour " espeoially ihoald pay unending homage to the genial humorist for hU olever and useful Invention. This is the "oertlfioate " he himself pans:— "l hereby certify that daring many years I was tffllo ed with ocampa m my limbs, indigestion, cult rhaam, enlargement of the liver, and periodical attacks of taflvmmatory rheumatism complicated with 8t Vitas' dance, my sufferings being so great that for months at a time I was unable to stand 1 upon my feet wltbont assistance or speak the troth wth it. Bat as soon as J. had in- ' vented my Half pasting sorapbork and began to use it m my own family all these i infirmities disappeared, In disseminating ' this universal healer among the world's afflicted you are doing a noble work, and > I sincerely hope you will get your reward 1 -—partly m the sweet oonroiousaess of i doing good, but the bulk of il m caah." ' The following remarks are extracted from L a letter to the publishers of the I "notion"; — u You know that when the > average man wants to put something m > his Borap-book he can't find h s paste— 1 hen he swears ; or if he fiuds it, it is 1 dii'd so hard that it is only fit to eatthen he swears ; if he uses mucilage it i mingles with tho ink, and next year be ■ oan't read his scrap— the result is barrels [ and barrels of profanity. If you Blill ; wi&b to publish this scrap book of mine I i ehail be wiiliug. It 1b a sound moral , work, and thle will commend it to editors i and clergymen, and m faot to ail rigbti feeling people. It you want testimonials ; I can get them, and of the best sort, and i from i ho best people* One of the moat i refined and cultivated young ladies m , Hartford (daughter of a olergyman) told mo herself, grateful tears standing m hor i eyes, that since Bhe began ÜBing my scrap-book she has not sworn a single oath,— Truly yours, Mabk Twain.

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Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18890719.2.9

Bibliographic details

A BOON TO MANKIND., Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2177, 19 July 1889

Word Count
402

A BOON TO MANKIND. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2177, 19 July 1889

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