Article image
Article image
This article displays in one automatically-generated column. View the full page to see article in its original form.

AN ESSAY 'ON THE GUINEA PIG

The following smart little satlrloal slcctob we clip from a recent lisne of the " Otago Workman," Who and what the ' guinea pigs ' are, our readers will soon gUPB9 ! — Dunßdln is tho happy bunting ground of tho genus Guinea Pig. This animal'd favorlto rnuort during tho day Is Bond otrcet and It? *utroanding<j, where It hanto In aemoh of fo >d, nni retires at nlijht to tho Barr-iundiug hoighto to sleep, foe tho (Guinea Pig, is vory careful of its health, and oinnot live m fl*t Bwampy plaoeu. Tho Guinea Pig derives its name from attending at meetings of the same genus m banks, insurance offices, mining companies, etc., whore th^y adjourn to a comfortable parlour, smoke a cigar, and bave a ohat for a short time, reoolve their guinea, and wslk off to repeat this pleasant prooeii at some other Institution. Thle the guinea Pigs o*ll business, and very lucrative it li, m it ia said that one ancient Pig, who is not supposed to be endowed with an unusual amount of brains, realises tome four or five hundred guineas per annum by nmoklng a cigarette for a short time nt each office. These banks, Insurances offices, mining companies, syndicates, etc, not only furnish food for the old Guinea Pig, but the young males of tho speoles are alco brought up to look upon theße institutions as their own particular and proper feeding ground, and where the Intrusion of a young male of a lower spades, which they call the Working Class, would be looked upon nan oh In the mmc way as if a young rabbit was to Intrude itself Amongst com? youog foxes at pUy. The young main Pig does not feed where it will dirty Us ooat. It Is very oareful to be always very clean, and be ableto meet the female of the speotei, and ploy with them at their gamea The harder and dirtier work is done by the males of the working speoles. who humbly furnish tbe funds of the institutions whloh keep the Guinea P'gs both old and young. They are to be found m all Urge oentres of population, bat Id proportion to its s'ze, I- know no plac* where this Intelligent animal thrives ao well as Id Cuoedin.— F.W.

This article text was automatically generated and may include errors. View the full page to see article in its original form.
Permanent link to this item

http://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18890316.2.23

Bibliographic details

AN ESSAY'ON THE GUINEA PIG, Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2089, 16 March 1889

Word Count
384

AN ESSAY'ON THE GUINEA PIG Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2089, 16 March 1889

  1. New formats

    Papers Past now contains more than just newspapers. Use these links to navigate to other kinds of materials.

  2. Hierarchy

    These links will always show you how deep you are in the collection. Click them to get a broader view of the items you're currently viewing.

  3. Search

    Enter names, places, or other keywords that you're curious about here. We'll look for them in the fulltext of millions of articles.

  4. Search

    Browsed to an interesting page? Click here to search within the item you're currently viewing, or start a new search.

  5. Search facets

    Use these buttons to limit your searches to particular dates, titles, and more.

  6. View selection

    Switch between images of the original document and text transcriptions and outlines you can cut and paste.

  7. Tools

    Print, save, zoom in and more.

  8. Explore

    If you'd rather just browse through documents, click here to find titles and issues from particular dates and geographic regions.

  9. Need more help?

    The "Help" link will show you different tips for each page on the site, so click here often as you explore the site.

Working