JEEMS KAYE AND THE TEACHER.
(From ." The Bftilie.") We advertised, Biille, tot a teacher for one o' the akules lately. The application* irere tae be addressed tae me. There wt*a> bnonera o' them— lndeed I micht say thoosms. I filled one o' my oleaa hnnner* wecht bags wl' them. We, In theOoTan pariah, g!e guld salaries, sac we get thsv pick an' wale o' the teaohin' profession* Of course we werana golc' tae be bothered openln' a* the letters, bo we pat the haaf o' them m the fire, an' opened and oon•clentlontly read thro* the ither hanf , W« narrowed the seleotion doon an' doon till we oam tae a pick o' aalax — a abort leet, oor minister oa'd it — some Latin word, I lop* pose— an' three o' as were deputed tae In* terview the candidates. So, last Thursday, we met m the wee room aff the skale, and I wis voted ftxaminer-in-obief. ECtte wo had a a moke, we a' drew oor chairs roon the table. Then I gles n bit ' tlbg ' on the wee bell, an* says tae the janitor* • bring forrlt the fist man.' The pair/ ohiel oam' m as if he wis goin' tae be executed. Mln' ye, though, it wis a motnen* tons affair for him tae be nihered intae the presenoe o' three responsible, dear heided men o' baslneis that had the power o 1 engaging him, or ordering him oot. jlit as we ltklt. Besides aj the placfr he waa tae fill had jlst been vaoated by a> man who wis goln' tae a luoratlTe situation as a tenoher In Spain, he had that kild 6* promotion befort hln« < Noo, Mister,' aityi I, < ye're a eaadfdate, are na ye ? Speak oot, as tha hals> three o 1 us are a wee deaf.'
'lam, sir. 1 ( Nae doot ye wad Ilka, taa get tb« place V • Well. I would, sir.'
1 Ay, me doot, nae doot ; bat ye k«n ye're no the only candidate, an* we hae a lolemn duty tae perform. We represent In oar aln three persons a* the baltris o* the parish, and ye ken we moot see It wa oonslder ye compus mentis. Veil ken> Latin, I suppose r 1 Ob, yea, Sir, and Greek.' 1 Ah, never heed the Greek noo* IV** ken Gaelic? 1 * « No, sir. 1 < That a bad. yen bad, yen bad, Indeed an' sao mony HeeW wean* In ? a l» dlttrlct. Te quite stagger me #*« th» ret* ontaet-plt down one black ta aek »g»!i»fc him, Mr Pinker ton tae begin wi'.r My a*na[ ( my man, If ya pro on at thli ntv ye 11 hae imi chance* Noo, attend ta» ma —never heed lookV at yer feet— look at me, ilr. I've a itdng o* qneitlona written dooh here for ye tae answer, »ny«' y« mxvi be vera oarefn,,' 'Noo, Bailie, T mast explain that the. window o' the room wli open, for they had an ower big fire, an' the janitor's wife wla oot on the green wl' a washer- ' woman spreading oot a washln', an' their conversation an' bits o'sanga onm' Intee m, although for a lang while I didna nnerstann where it wfa oomln' frae, ' Noo, air, are ye marrlt ?' ' Wooed an' marrit an' a' ' (frae tfce> green). 1 What's that ye say sir?' 'I didn't speak ?' 'An* why didn't ye? I asked, ya a question. Wld ye be lang wl* r M bflfota ye asked for a » riae ? "
1 1 hope I will not be greedy, air.' • Noo, that's a wlsellke answer. Whaur d ye oome frae ? '
' Within a mile q* Kdinbro' tooa • (frae the green),-
' Oan ye no gle's the name o! the plaoeV •Aberdeen' . « An* is It only a mile f rae Edlnbro'. eh 7 ' « 1 nerer said It wls, sir.' ' ' What ! put doon lther twa blaok marks/ Me PlnkQtton, for leeln '—ye're oomln' on my man.' ' Bat—' * SUenoe, sir; don't oonfaradlot me.' ' Twa bonnle elders— one wl ? a attokleg, an' the ithec wi' a bald held. The ane gles Hot weoht In the tea, an' the lthei pits stanes In amang the coals. Oh, watnman, wumnau, what a worl'o'deoeitt I doot the ' plate ' Ml be a inffecer. I suppose they'll nail as mnoh oot on Saw— bath as'U gle them their 'morning' a* week.'
'Deed, ye may weel aay't, wttmman, Twa miserable anld sklofilnta that'll no gle oor John a ' rise,' an' him wrooht aff his feet.'
Billie, I wla damfoonered, bat I leanr ower tae Mr Pinkerton and wblipers, 'Is he a ventrlloqalst, think ye 1 for I dldnav an'erataan what I heard at a.'
'It looks like It,' aaya Mr Pinkertccr. •Try him again.' 1 Noo, sir, attend tae me* la LaUb •*• o' the deld languages 1 ' •It la, sir.'
' A /c, ye're rloht there, tor it'e v deld m * doo t nail. Noo, U ye're parent leevlni 1
•My auld mlther deld In the yeat anghty-nlnV •An'whandUyerfaither doe? 1 ' I beg yoor pardon, air,' ,/ I>m B , t l ln \ w . htn d!d * w *»!«»«**•#, if yer mlther deld m auohty.nlne ! * ' Bat my mlther'i litlng yet.' •She's what?' 7 ; * She's living yet, . • •■ > ! £ u> wbat dld ** ■■* iho WM deW f °* ** lou mast have misunderstood me, air.' ; 'Heth there's too tnuoh mlsanderstandin* goln 1 on. Hooever, we'll beginagain. Attention. What were ye before* ye got on tae be a skalemalster ? ' •Wha'll buy my oaller herrln't flaw-:. bonnle '— —
1 Ob, ye were •ellfn* herrln', were jr«w_ gosh, ye gled a quid jump np ; but - c needna begin tae let us hear hoo vq -Jin tbemj we'll tak' yeVe word fot^* 1 An' for bonnle Annie li%w> a v\\ U* me doon an* dee.' * ye. Im afraid ye'U »o 'jUtialtni. Y» N oo| Jte X het *» fo * ihe l«rt time. IMk ye : What age are, ye }» * p " I JJy !°™ »■ »^ • red red rose ' Mlohty me, wbVa Bpeaklu 1 aboot yer L lQl Mraw e oare tho' ifae was like a green oaulffloor." 1 I'm afraid there's something wrong, gentlemen $ these sonnds are all coming from the green. 1 ' Ftae the whaur 1 Order the janitor In here at anoe ;' an' I rfiea and gaei ower tae the window, an' as I pat oofc my held the janitor's wife atngs oot, < Meet me on the gowan lea, my am, my artleoa dearie.' \\t\ for a' the worl* as if It wit me ihe wit. say In' 1c tae. •Will I? 1 says I. <ftn thlnkln' 111 meet yon and ye'r guldmtu In my office, and pay ye balth aff f or maktn' a f al« o* ÜB.'
I ibat doon the window wl 1 a bane, an* I faya tae the candidate, "Yell daet bring ye re tawse ne«t Monday an' begin.' An? ■ae we aettkd the thing. Ye see I dtdna want the analr spoken aboot, sac It wli beat taa keep the young man smooth. ' Bus Ihaetee gae the j»nltor an 1 hit wife a fclghfc jet,— YourB t
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JEEMS KAYE AND THE TEACHER., Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2072, 25 February 1889
JEEMS KAYE AND THE TEACHER. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2072, 25 February 1889
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