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The Boy. E: A.Soott mil oonduot gervioe m the Seofield schoolroom on Sunday (tomorrow) at 3 p.m. Teaoher: "What ia the plural ol ohild?" Boy (promptly) : •• Twina." Dumas, pbre, is eaid to havo mat'fl more money by writing than anyone else m the history of literature. Among the things not generally known is the fact that glass may be out with a strong pair of scißßora if it is held nnder water. The German military budget oontains an Jtanj of £1800 for the breeding and training of carrier pfgegng. A recent letter from a lady ;n Sydney to a friend m Masterton says :—" Butter is selling at 3s 6d per lb, and bad at that." ' ' According to the '' Aucklapd Herald " Sir Julias Yogel has not after all made up bis mind to return to New Zealand, It is likely that the Anglioan Diocese of Sydney will Bhortly be raised to an Archbishopric In yesterday's issue we printed a telegram (as received) announcing the sale of 12,000 acres of Mr E. Menlove's Windsor Estate, near Oamaru, at £2 10s per aore. It now appears that a figure was omitted the prioe obtained being £12 10s per aore. 11 What did the horeeß stop for, George ? " a lady was heard to ask a gentleman at the races at Napier. Her companion replied, "They made a false start, and have to go back to the ppßt agajn." «• Qb, George I and the horee we §re betting on was ever so far ahead 1 I don't think that's fair 1 " The Eads Tehnantepeo ship railway oon* tract has been given to the Atlantio and Paoifio Bailway Company, the work to be completed m five years. The Mexican Government has made liberal concessions, and this road is thought likely to be m operation before the De Lesseps or the Nioaragua oanal can be completed. We learn from the "Ohroniole" that a young man who has come over to the Bangitikei district from the Mahikipawa diggings for a holiday gives a very good aocount of them. There ia a population of over 500 on the ground at present, and good gold is being obtained. Of course there are as usual, a goodly number of "duffers" bottomed, but many of the men are making fortuneo from their claims. Edward Moßweoney, convicted on his own confession of passing a valueless cheque, and who wbb remanded on Thursday by the Bakaia Bench m order that the Probation Officer might be eonßnlted, was' again brought up ywterday, when the Probation Officer from Ashburton- reported favorably, and a number of other witnesses gave evidence as to accused's previous oharaoter. The Bench taking the report into consideration after severely reprimanding the aooused, and warning him as to his future aotiona, ordered hjm tp be placed under probation for three months, tQ refund fcbo amount obtained I from Mr SpriDg, and to t>B9 the coals of the

The first oats of the season, consigned to Messrs Friedlander Broß. arrived m town ! yesterday. They were grown by Mr George [jamb, and are a very good sample. The site of the Salvation Army Barracks In Havelook Street, consisting of a quarter acre section and the buildings thereon, was submitted to auction by Mr Bullook to-day, and knooked down for £315. A young man, olerk to a well-known Newcastle firm, has suddenly disappeared after the alleged borrowing of £1500 from a widow lady and £2000 from other parties. It is supposed he is involved m miniag epocs. Among Bishop Dupnnloupe's papers an essay on oremation was found, m whioh the bishop endeavours to prove that without the interment of bodies for successive generations the earth would lose all fertility and power of reproduction; There are now oables on almost every sea and ooean bed, the total length of wire laid being nearly 113,000 nautioal miles. There are nine oables oonneoting Europe with America, the first that was laid dating fron 1858. At last we know why " uneasy lies the bead that wears a crown." A newly-arrived ohiropodiet from the Old Country announces himself as corn doctor to the Court of Germany, and tells us he has removed oorns from several of the crowned heads of Europe. The riohest woman m the world is Miss Garrett, of New York. She is the sister of Robert Garrett, a man crushed out by the relentless Jay Gould, and inherited £4,000,000 from her father. This she has increased by judioious investment. Miss Garrett is reserved, and a confirmed old maid. The " Southland Times " reports that the party who went out to prooure Bamples of tin whioh they believed to exist weat of the Waiau have returned to Biverton with specimens and also some pieces of what they think is a lode of the same metal. The looahty is near Price's Boat Harbor. The " Southland Times " states that Professor Black and party have returned from Stewart's Island. For obviouß reasons particulars of their success are withheld meantime, but it is stated that tin has been found m two places, and that the deposit is ex* tremely rich. As Boon bb preliminbrie.B are settled work will be oommenoed m earnest. Between London and Paris there are actually .more telegraphio wires than between tie French capital and any other town m France, or any town on the Continent. The greatest number of wires between Paris andany provincial town is six. This is the extent of the communication with Marseilles. Twelve wires connect Paris with London, and there are two wires between London and Marseilles, " Land and Sea " remarks that Solomon's temple as described m the Soriptures would not now be described as a very imposing Btruoture. Its length was 107 feet, breadth, 36 feet, and height 54 feet ; the porch was 36 feet long and 18 feet wide. So on the whole you see it did not surpass many private houses of the present day, and yet it was looked upon as one of the wonders of the ancient world. The "Eaikoura Star" says that some excellent olipa of wool are reported through* out Eaikoura this season. The Green Hills yield is stated to be 1000 bales. An extraordinarily good clip has been obtained on Ferniehurßt. One mob of 3000 merino ewea dipped 62 full sized bales of wool, a total exceedingly hard to beat. In one lot ol the Ferniehurßt sheep the percentage ol lambs is within a fraotion of 110. A correspondent to an American paper, writing from Gotts Island, Me., claims that this favored isle harbours neither tramps, rats, nor mosquitoes. No ram iqiold there, neither is there tiny mud. He has never seen an intoxicated person on the island, and bat one house was burned for over 100 years. The people are not afraid of thieves, and seldom fasten their doors at night, except m oases of gales of wind, and there is not a dog on the i ißland. A epeoial meeting of the South Bakaia School Committee was held m the Libraijj last evening :— Present Meßsrs Pyke (ohairman), Broadbent, Olark, Mafceig, Turner and Oxley. The business was the eleotion of an i assistant mistress. There were nine applicants for the post, and the choice fell on Miss Belton of Timaru. The chairman was re. quested to intimate the same to the Board and request that Miss Belton oommenoe her new duties as early as possible. i An extraordinary family ia being exhibited at Invgroargil], The objects of interest are three young giants of Australian birth, a girl aged 15 years weighing 28st 61bB, a boy aged 10 years weighing 14at 12lbs, and another gir aged eight years weighing 12at 121bfl. The father and mother of these prodigious infants, Mr and Mrs William Snell, formerly of Gippsland, are people of ordinary stature, $nd have other children who are m no waw £bnorrnally developed. * ' According to a Bohemian legend, when Lucifer fell from heaven he struck the earth with spoh forpe that be was dashed m pieqes, | His head rolled into Spain, and that is why j Spaniards are so proud j his heart rested on Italy, that is why Italians are so filled with the passion of love; his feet sprang upon France, that is why Frenohmen are always running after women ; Germany reoeived his his etomaoh, that is why Germans are so fond of eating ; and Turkey his hands, and that is why Turks are bo rapacious. An a^rqrjant, named Bartholomew, who had been giving performances with a para r chute at Ballarat, met the other day with a nasty aooident. He had ascended bb usual banging to a trepejse, on which he performed a number of astonishing feats, and on reaohing a height of some three or four thousand feet, oast himself adrift from his balloon, relying for safety on his paraohute. The descent, however, was made with unusual rapidity, and came to a atop m the middle of the town, where the unfortunate man's legs were struck against the edge of a roof and severely hurt. Bartholomew is Baid to attribute his aooident to the greater rarity of the Australian air, whioh lacks the buoyant property he has been used to eleawhareV Some people, however, consider it a libel on the native-born population to say that they have been nourished on a less substantial atmosphere and as Bartholomew reokons this as his nineteenth or twentieth mishap, there seems to be some room for doubt as to his assertion, The relatives of Patrick OJarkin, mentioned m our issue of yesterday as having been convicted before Mr Bullook, J.P., for drunkness, disorderly conduot and for vagranoy i and sentenoed to 14 days' hard labor, have waited upon us representing that our report wad incorreot, stating that JDlarkin was convicted and sentenced for the two first-named offences, but that no oharge as io vagranoy was made against him They are themBelves respectable people, and they further say that Clarkin could Dot by any possibility be a vagrant, as he has the house of his parents, who reside near Ashburton, to go to. Had we made any mistake we should have been happy to oorreot it, but we find that the entries on the oharge sheet and m tha police book are— "Patriok Clarkin, drunkenness and disorderly conduct. — Con vie led. Vag> j ranoy and Illegally on premises of A. J. Kelly —To be imprisoned for 14 days H.L." No doubt Olarkin has no exouße for boing a vagrant under the oiroumstancea, but a man may be oonvioted for vagranoy even though he has a home to go to, if guilty of oonduot which bring him within the soope of the olauses of the Police Offences Act whioh relate to vagranoy." We olipthe following important testimonial from the " Illawarra Mercury " (N.8.W.) of the 30th March. It needs no commont :— 11 Mr John Loveday, of the Bulli Mountain, writes to us that after Buffering for four years with aoute gravel, he has experienced almost complete relief by using Sander and Sons' Eucalypti Extract. He says seeing the said Extraot advertised m the ' Illawarra Mercury,' I his intense Buffering induced him to obtain a 1 bottle of the medicine from Mr Hosking, chemist, of this town, and that the use of it ' gave him great relief at once. He statcß that between the 10th Maroh instant, when he qbtained the first bottle of the extraot, and the 19th, the use of that medicine oontinued to afford him relief, to whioh he bad been a stranger for four years. Mr Loveday writes also that he has found the Eucalypti Extraot a cure for rheumatism as well as gravel. He requests us to publish this information through the •Mercury.' We have jnuoti pleasure m pomplying with Mr Loveday'fi request, whose word cannot be doubted, and I who can have no objoot m view other than a pure desire to benefit suffering humanity,"-*

The Rev A. Gifford has intimated his intention of resigning the incumbenoy of St Luke's, Oatnaru, at the end of this year. We call the attention of residents m the Rakaia diatriot to the faot that Rev Father Purton will Bay Mass at. Rakaia to-morrow at 11 a.m. It is calculated that the telegraph wires of the earth are sufficient m combined length to make four telegraphic lines between it and the moon. The steam engines of the world represent the work of a thousand million men, or more than double the working population of the earth. The " South Canterbury Times " says that some of the Timaru wharf hands are confident that they saw some salmon sporting about m the harbour on Thursday. A Baltimore man is declared to have made the most novel bet on the Amerioan Presidential ohoioe. He was flirting hard with two girls, and could not. decide which to marry. Accordingly, he bet against the Republicans with the brunette, and against the Democrats with the blonde, promising to marry whichever fair lady won the bet. He is now engaged to the Harrison champion, the brunette damsel. So says the "New York Herald." There must be a dark plaoe m the prison system of Queensland, for it has just been discovered that there is a man m Brisbane gaol who was " run m ' fifteen months ago beoause he refused to marry Louisa Jane Kimmins, who is now m New South Wales. His name is Keller, and as he had not the £500 which the Court fixed as the equivalent of the damage done to her,, heart, he was handed over to the sheriff, and appears to have been practically forgotten till the other day. An " authenticated " instance of a baby being carried of! by an eagle is reported from Wichita, Kansas. The infant of a farmer named William Beattie was lying asleep on a blanket outside the house, while the father w&b at work not very far from it. Suddenly a Beoond child, older m years, ran and told the father that baby had " flied away." The neighbors were promptly called, and the eagle was followed to its nest and shot. The skeleton alone of the child waß, however, recovered. The " Napier Telegraph " writeB :— That a person should not sooff at the misfortunes of others was exemplified m a remarkable way the other day. The hard labor gang were returning to the gaol from the breakwater, when an individual who was slightly liquored, □ear the Government Buildings, addressed gome slighting remarks to the prisoners. Moral : The said individual is now m the same gang, having graduated to the ranks a day after he had made the remarks to the prisoners. The advent of the Amerioan girl into English sooiety at first caused a curiosity. It soon beoame a portent. It is now assuming the dimensions of a menace. Before long it will be reoognieed as a oalamity. Of all the formß of competition there is none so deadly as this. We can stand our farmers being ruined by Amerioan corn; we oan listen unmoved to the wails of the graziers made bankrupt by the influx of Amerioan beef ; but the American girl is too much. Already we hear the murmur of the ory of the drawingroom of the desparing Belgravian mother who sees, season after season, Amerioan girls swoop down upon the most eligible partners and cut our native girls out before the eyes of, their distraoted parents.—" Pall Mall Gazette." " Rough on atarrh " corrects offensiv odors at once. Complete cure of worst chroni cases ; also unequaled as gargle for diphtheric Sore threat, (oul breath

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LOCAL AND GENERAL., Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2047, 26 January 1889

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LOCAL AND GENERAL. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2047, 26 January 1889

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