The Ashburton Guardian. Magna est Veritas et Prævalebit SATURDAY, JANUARY 19, 1889. CHAPPING THE PREMIER.
The Wellington "Evening Post" despairing of the task of reconciling the recent appointments to the Railway Board with' the ; dictates of ordinary prudence and common sense has recoarse to the potent aid of sarcasm, and proceeds mercilessly to chaff the Premier ot Topsey-tnrveydom by which latter term is intended the colony of New Zear | land. The article is very amusing reading, and is certainly not an illogical sequel to the iitory of the Railway Commissionerships! Following is the text ; — " Pew people would take Sir Harry Atkinson for a humourist. Yet he is really one of the first water. His humour" finds its most congenial development m practical jokes. Some of these are regular screamers. He has lately been rery much impressed with the principles upon which the Gilbertian burlesques, to which bir Arthur Sullivan has wedded so much charming music, are constructed. That principle is generally described astopsy-tnryey-dom. The fan arises from placing round pegs m square holes,, and vice : veraa t and at once recognising how much amusement has been got oat of the arrangement on the mimic , stage, Bir Harry Atkinson determined to try the effect on a larger scale on the political stage. This is the secret of many of the late appointments. What could be more incongruous than filling the Native Land Court Bench with Judges who know nothing of the natives, their lands, or language ? And what a side-splitting series of .complications and blunders are sure to arise out of the situation! 3?aen, again,, the appointment of a surveyor as Chief Commissioner of Railways is almost certain to produce a series of farcical entanglements which will .provoke mirth on all sides, save amongst those who have to pay for the joke. These efforts are however, only mild experiments m the art of torpsy-turveydom. ' There is more much more to come, and at the risk of violat ing the most sacred confidence and causing some of the contemplated jokes to miss fire when officially sprung upon the public, we will venture to outline a few of the appointments, promotions, and interchanges wbioh are m preparation under the stage management of Bir Hatty Atkinson. In the first place, Mr j\ O . Gavin, Secretary to the Treasury, is to be appointed to the command of the s.B. Stella, with the rank of In-speotpr-General of r Lighthouses, and Captain ~ Fairchild ' w. to ; become In-spector-General «f ; Schools,; m place of Rev W. J. Habens, who is to succeed Mr Gordon, Inspector of Mines, the Premier rightly holding that if Mr Habens is an Inspector, it is quite immaterial what he inspects. Mr Gordon is to receive the' vacant Judgeship and Mr Haseldea, fJnder-Secretary for Justice, is to be appointed Surveyor-General being succeeded by Mr William Agnevr, temporarily attached to the Prisoners Department. Captain Edwin is to be made Secretary to the Treasury, and the duty of forecasting the qre&tber is to be transferred to the Commissioner of Police, the person to fill whose office.' is being at present sought for amongst graduates at Mount Cook, Major Gudgeon is to be an Examiner of Titles. Mr Reid, Solicitor-General, is to be Mr Blackett's successor as engineer -in-Chief and Mr W . R. E. Brown' is to add the duties of Solicitor-General to those of Registrar-General. Mr Sperrey is to bare the Property Tax Department to become Government Printer, and Mr Didsbury to succeed Sir James Hectpr as Director of the Geological Department, the latter retiring on pension,, as it is universally acknowledged that it would, be quite impossible to |find any office which he was not specially, well qualified to fill. Lieut- Colonel Hume, Inspector of Prisons and Volunteers, is to exchange duties with Mr Frankland r GovernmenTT Actuary and Statist, and Dr Laiabley, of Auckland, is to be the new Property Tax Commissioner. These are ft hut few of the transformation scenes of the great bfirlesque of which Sir Harry Atkinson is the gifltpd anthor.