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A NEW ACCOUNT OF OUR MOTHER EVE

Eva belonged to one of our firs*, families — In fact:, the very firs', Sh« wan related to the first rain, on Adam's aide, although she had a deep oauae to regret that «he evar left AdaoVa aide, Philosophers who have probed ddep into the subject oonoeot Eve's early oareor an a rib with the female foodn-BU for rib bon. Eve beoama Mrs Ad»m, and they lived very happily together for a time. There was do < tier woman for her to ba jaalous of, and hoc hi a"">and wasn't pea erod with dressmaker's bil ■. She wa&a'c tortured by diaooverlng lovo letters , from unknown females In Adam's coat, tall pooket, and Mr Adam never blew her uo bec.ine buttons weren't sowed on. Bvo never aaw a fashion book or a fashion plate, never wore high-heeled shoes (she made a slip bat she couldn't make a slipper) or ohlgnoos ; and If there h»d been lota of newspapers printed, ahe wouldn't have known how to make back numbera available. It never oocared to her to go into the lecture field, and as fcr voting she didn't know what it meant. If they were going out to a party, she didn't keep Adam waiting for her to dress, and Adam was never known to come home with another hat or overcoat on. How Eve oonld have lived without some other woman to gossip with It la hard to understand at this day, but she did. Adam ia supposed to have boon kept In a glow of continual happiness by the reflection that ho hadn't any mother-in-law hanging round, and couldn't have Oh ! bub thoie ware delightf al days when our first parents, m their innocence and simplicity, wandered about Eden Park, hand m hand, discussing the improvemeote that might be made— here an avenue, there a promanade, here an archway, and there a tunnel for an (fflucmtplp?. There ia little reoord as to how mother Eva employed herself when not wandering m Eden There was no new Ing soototy foi hor to be president of ; thore were no clothes to ba made up for the litle heathen. She couldn't pUy the plaao, because file had none. Had she possessed one cf. thetw boons, she would probably havo driven her huaband out of Paradise without the intervention of th j serpent. Sho oonld not paint or draw. She couldn't embroider although her worsted work was a bccosbs — she worsted the whole humau raoo, Shi couldn't recoivo ojlls, except when Adam c tiled on her, and g it no invitations outt> tea. She was totally ignorant of tho dell.hts of shopping, and never attended a matlueo In all her life. When sho went ont lo proir.eoade, she never looked round to Bee what other women had on. There was some compensation for being the only w< man m the world. Eve wam't botheredwlth a'? hired girl." She didn't know what it was to 'have a servant m. the kitchen Sha wea spared the annoy-, anoe of changing girls every week, and there were no •• follara" hanging around the kitchen stepe. Everything seemed to go well with Eva uatil the fcait aeaaon »et m, and than — well, evety child knows the story , She was tempted into au apple tree to pluck somo fruit that woan't qalte rips, and fo 1. Arfam fell too— that is, ho fell to and he'pqd her to eat it, although, with a meann'-'.es somewhat characteristic of his sex, ho attempted to throw nil tho blomo on tho wuman when detected. Too lazy to shake the tree himself, he was ready enough to p*r?ake of tho fruit when brought to hia hand. After th'a faux pas % Adam and Eye. were obliged to take their respective leaves of Eden ; they wore fig ieavea. Eve had suddenly beoome possessed with a love for dresp, and from that early period until the present that love has gradually juoroaaed amoag the sex, .until now It amounts tot veritable passion with many of them. Besides the Massachusetts Adams, the eDtire human raos may be traced baok to Mr and Mra Adam, if their traoes are long enough. We have not been told that Eve out up very much after that eff»lr m the garden. If she " raised Gain," it was beoause Gain was tough and hearty. If he had been a elokly child, perhaps she wouldn't have been Abel to raise him. It is reocrJed that Adam reached the good old age of 930 years i before he died ; but no montion is made of Eve's age when she passed away. The well known antipathy to telling her age which characterises woman m all agea and under every clime may perhaps eoooont for thlc. Eve his numerous namesakes at tho present day, Christmas Eve being the favorite.—" Taranaki Herald."

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http://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18881229.2.14

Bibliographic details

A NEW ACCOUNT OF OUR MOTHER EVE, Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2024, 29 December 1888

Word Count
807

A NEW ACCOUNT OF OUR MOTHER EVE Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2024, 29 December 1888

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