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LOCAL AND GENERAL. .

Teaoher : " Who was Alexander Selkirk ? " Tommy : "He was a civil engineer." Teaoher: "Civil engineer ?" Tommy : " Yes, ma'am ; monarob of all he surveyed.

It is stated that on Sunday night: a fire ooaurred m the stores department at Sunnyside lunatio asylum. The flames were extinguished before muoh damage was done. A quantity of drapery gooda was destroyed. > : The " Wangannr Heraia " saya "tßariii rumour ib going the rounds that the Drake family, teßidenk near Wellington and Pates, have come into a fortune through the Court of Chancery for four and a half millions. '■ " Where ib the ißland of Java situated ? ?' asked a school teaoher of a small, rather forlorn-looking boy. "I dunno, sir. I'—1 '— " Don'tyou know where ooffee oomes from ? ?» " Yes, sir ; we borrows it from the next-door neighbor." '

A company is being promoted m Hawke's Bay with a capital of £10,000, with the object of sending 20 Maoris — 10 men and ft like number of women — to the Paris Exhibition. This oompany is to bo oalled " The Maori Pah Company," and the Natives will be trained m ajl the Maori dances.

A new Boman Oatholio Gollege, whioh has accommodation for four hundred students, half of whom will be resident, was opened reoently at Tooting, by the Bishop of Southwark. In the afternoon, Cardinal Manning vißited the new building, and delivered an address to the students and their friends.

A society oalled the Columbia has started a carrier pigeon eorvioe between Strasburg and Vienna, and recently a number of pigeons were started at the latter oity at 5 o'olook one evening, and the first of them reaohed Strasburg at 6 o'clock the next morning, having travelled at the rate of over 81 miles an hour all night.

An addreia, delivered by the manager of a ■mall theatre [m Ireland, there being only threi persons m tha house ; " Ladies and gentlemen,— As there is nobody here, I'll dismiss you all ; the performances of thii night will not be performed ; but the perform" ancea of this night will be repeated to* morrow evening.'*

The trade m birds for women's hats was so enormous last year that a single London dealer admitted that he sold 2,000,000 of small birds of every kind and color. At one auotion m one week there wore sold 6000 birds of paradise, 6000 Impeyan pheasants, 400,000 humming birds, and other birds from North and South Araerioa, and 360,000 feathered^ s^ins from India.

Teaohor (giving [directions for standing) : " Stand with your heels together and toes turned out, making an angle of forty degrees." This was followed by a look of bewilderment on one boy'B faoo; Teacher f " Well, Tim^ do you know what I mean, do you know what a degree is ? " Pupil : •• Yes, air. "— Teaoher ( "What?" Pupil; "Sixty-nine and oqe ; , fourth miles."

Ai an inatans* "of th« improvement m busintSK m Dunedin, we gita the following A firm of Dunedin auctioneers inform us that a few monthi ago their rooms were littered up with furniture Bent m for sale by persons leaving the oolony. Now they can scarcely get enough leoond band furniture into their rooms to meet with the demand that has been oreated by families returning from Yiotoria.

A Glasgow paper, m notioing the opening of the popular Saturday evening conoerts m the Oity Hall, ypder the ausniqos o{ the Abstainers' Union, thug refers to a vooalist who claimß Dunedin as his home and the place [of his early mupioal training : — •• Mr Philip Newbury, an Australian tenor vocalist, made his first bow to q hootch au^ienoe. His singing wsb one pf the features of the oonoert. After hjs first essay m Balfo's * You'll rem. ember me, 1 m whiob he showed that he had a voioe of great purity, the audience insisted on hoariDg more of Mb powers, and he responded with a vigorous performance of an old sea song."

Hollowav's Ointment and Pills.— Diseases of the Bowels, — A remedy, which has been tested and proved m a thousand different ways, capable of eradicating poisonous taints from ulcers and healing them tip, merits a trinl of Its capacity for extracting the internal corruptions from the bowels. On rubbing Holloway's Ointment repeatedly on the abdomen, a rash appears, and as it thickens the alvine irritability subsides. Acting as a deriyative. the ointment draws to the surface, releases the tender intestines from all acrid matters, and prevents inflammation, dysentery and piles, for which blistering wag the olcU fashioned, though successful treatment, now from its painfulness fallen into disuse, the Discovery of this Ointment having proclaimed a remedy possessing equajly derivative, vet jwfectly painlesp, powers,

/The Ohristohuroh Angling Sooiety held a competition yesterday, when P. W. Hunt won the prize for fly fiahing, with 30 fish weighing 22^1 bB taken at Ir well. J. Ooe won the prize for heaviest basket taken by any legal means, I vith 9 fiah W6i B hing 67£ lb B from the Selwyn. Ooe got the heaviestjfish, 101 b loz. ? „ m 17 „ _. , , ;• Profe S «or Vernoml, a F reach dootor, has • leen learnedly deßoanting upon absoeasea. i Ho says they are like anthills ; m other words, than an abscess ia the produot of a colony of living beings— millions and millions of mioroirganisma of nil kinds, from tho whirling oicrooocoi to tho rod-shaped baoilli — which hbor to produoo the aupportation and pile on the agony by a gradual process. This theory (I tho growth of absoes3ea is considered aB tuite new

The application of tha;miorophone to mili- ' <ary tactics has been on trial for some time l * »t Montaubin, Franoe. The instrument gives ■ m automatio warning of the passage of troops along a probable line of march at a distance of many miles. A sounding-plate is buried m the aoil underneath an expeoted route of the enemy, and oonneotion ia made with an ordinary miorophone at head-quartera. General Vinoendon and De Sonis, with their staff, were present at the experiments, and they were sufficiently improaaed with the praotioal utility of the apparatus to send a report to the Minister of War. Orders have dnoß been received by the inventor to continue hia experiments under ofßoial auperin. tendenoe and teohnioal advice.

Last week Mr O. G. Tripp, Orari Gorge, advertiaed m the " Mail "and "Guardian" for thirty-Beven Bhearerff and shed hands. When the roll was oalled yesterday mornfag upwards of 200 men attended, of whom ilmost all had passed the night at the station, I »nd .about half of them had been there Binoe Inoon of the previous day. The large wool shed jwaa given up to this small army for Bleeping quarters, and their breakfast is said to have required six sheep and 150 large loaves, though this ia evidently an exaggeration, gjhe applioations for work at Mr Tripp'a are very numerous, but this ia the largeat .number that has yet attended the roll-call there.

Although the number of English m the Transvaal has been largely augmented of late m consequence of the disoovery of goldfields, the poaition of Englishmen among the Boers is Btill far from being a pleasant one. Tbat they have, however, gained m power is evident. Only reoently the Dutch Legislature passed a law absolutely forbidding the use of toy language but Dutch m the Law Courts. Consequently, the ridiculous speotaole is dometimea __ presented of two Englishmen having a dispute with eaoh other being heard before an English-speaking judge, and the whole of the evidenoe and arguments being translated from English into Dutoh by means of an interpreter.

A sad example of the tragio consequenoes which Bometimea ensue on the wioked folly of praotioal joking comes to us from Ireland. Mvss Milligan, who haa just died at Eilkeel, County Down, was out walking a fortnight since with two lady visitors, when suddenly they were startled to see a man m front of them, who brandished a knife, exolaiming at the same time, " I'm Jack the Riper." Not unnaturally the three young ladies were terrified at the antios of the infamous scoundrel who thus tried to personate the Whitechapel murderer, and Misa Milligan became hysterical. Fever followed on the nervous excitement Bet up, and now, at the age of 21, she has succumbed to the sickness. No punishment oan be too severe for the miscreant, for whom the polioe of County Down ire now looking

Muoh the most gruesome contribution to the Whiteohapol horrors is that whioh appears m the " Standard " from] its Vienna correspondent. Aooording to Dr Bloob, a Galioian member of the Beiohssath, there is no more Inveterate superstition among German thieves than the belief that a oandle made from the missing portions of the viotims m White* chapel will throw all thoso upon whom its light falls into the deepest slumber. Suoh candles, are, therefore, invaluable to burglars. In 1810 a man was executed at Madgaburg at whose trial it was proved that " a regular manufactory had been established by gang of thieves for the production of suoh oandles.' " A regular manufactory 1 " Did ever the diseased imagination of Edgar Allan Poe conceive a more ghastly idea than this systematic manufacture of thieves' oandles from - the vitala ofHieir mardergil vluilma~? —

Some idea may be formed of the maguitude of the plague of grasshoppers whioh has viaited France tbia year, from the fact that m one single canton— that of Goron, m the department of Mayenne — 1,604,0001ba of theea inseots, representing 92£ millions m number, have been killed, filling 229 tumbrils, each of the .capaoity of a oubio yard. They were collected by women and children m the early morning at a cost of £600, and it is estimated that by this means a loss of £80,000 was averted from the canton. Henceforth it ia proposed that the teachers and scholars m all the State aohools throughout the oountry should make war upon the grasshoppers morning and evening during the season, and should participate m the reward (4d a pound) paid for their destruction. As there aro nearly four millions of children receiving publio instruction m France, the grasshoppers are likely to have a bad time of it.

The following|pror)hetia announcement was mide by a writer m " Vanity Pair " :— I have before me a circular lately issued by a wellKnown American firm, m whioh is set down amongst " the Bure events of ' the near future ' " the collapse of tha Vanama Canal Company. It is what I have looked forward to. The Frenoh Government have authorised a lottery loan, with a view to stave off the coming crash • but the loan will be without guarantee or responsibility on the part of the State, and it oan have no other effect than the brief postponement of the inevitable end. The failure of this gigantio enterprise will ooma with terrible severity upon thousands of the Frenoh middle olaßsea, from whose savings the subscriptions have m a large measure been drawn. A cash investment of something like 250,000,000 dollars, or £50,000,000, wjll m all likelihood bo utterly wiped but—-" a financial misfortune," as the Boston firm eaya, " of almost unparalleled magnitude " — the burden of whioh, though it is to fall upon the people of Franco; may shake the people of other countries m sympathy.

The "Glasgow Evening Citizen" of Oot, sth has the following paragraph : — Ajtropros of New Zealand, and the orisia through whioh it has passed or is passing, and of some bearing on the reportß we published the other day regarding the affairs of the Bank of New Zealand, the following extraot from a letter reoeired here from an influential gentleman resident m the oolonv will prove interesting and instructive : — " We are going through hard tlmea hero at present, the xesqlt of oxoeßsive borrowing and of aping to be men when we aro only boys ; but we are steadily improving, and as I know that many of our Glasgow men have invested large Bums m New Zealand (not always wisely) they will t)e wise not to give way to paniojoii fear for the future of- New Zealand. It is the most Godgifted oountry m the world that I know. With all and more than the mineral treasures of Britain, with a soil superior and * climate unsurpassed m the world, it only wants population and capital to make it what it haa been oalled — the Britain of the South. Pardon my divergencies into general topics, but I thought you would not objeot to a glimpse of New Zealand through the speotaol.es of a thirty.six year resident who has kno^n it from Southland to Auckland, and from a bullbolf driver's point of View to that of a Minister of the Crown and of a Judge of the Supreme Court."

SANDER and SONS' EUCALYPTI EXTBAOT.—In protection of the world -wiSe fame our manufacture has acquired all over the globe, we publish the following :— Hazard, M.P., Professor of General Pathqlogy and Diseases of the Mind and Nervous System Bays m an editorial published m the " Olinioal Keoord : " — " We have examined half-a-dozen specimens of different manufactures the preparation of Sander and Sons was the only one that proved to be reliable and corresponding to eoientifio teßta." Another conoootion oalled " Refined Extraot of Euoalyptuß " has made its appearance since. This produot stands, aopordjng to Pr Owen, foremost j n causing injurious etfeoto. 'Jfhat geptlpraan communicates', at a meetipg of the Hedidal Sooiety of Victoria, that a child living at Fitzroy became most seriously indisposed inroußh its use. In another caso a lady Btates on the strength of statutory declaration tbat she Buffered cruelly from the efleota of the same ponooptlon. fo guard the high reputation of pur manufacture we feo warranted m exposing the^ above faota, and i deßire the pubhoto exeroise oar e and preoau* tion wheOujing SA^pSR and SONS.- j

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Permanent link to this item

http://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18881219.2.4

Bibliographic details

LOCAL AND GENERAL. ., Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2017, 19 December 1888

Word Count
2,287

LOCAL AND GENERAL. . Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2017, 19 December 1888

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