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LOCAL AND GENERAL.

9 , ~ The firßt of the Beries of Ashburion wool sales will be held on Friday, December 7. The paßtoral interests of New South Waloa are valued at -£175,000,000. A gentleman recently deoeased at Bangiora ia said to have died worth £80,000. Borne men give according to their means and some according to their meanness. Forty-nine Buioides mako Monte Carlo's record for the last two and a half months. • San Franoisoo mail oloeG3 on Friday, 30th instant, for tetters and newspapers at 5 p.m. Money orders and registered letters at 10 a.m. Tho Sydney University has already received private endownmenta to the amount of £350,000. " You know," Bhe said as a clincher, "woman iB the salt of the earth," "Yes." replied he savagely, " and th& pepper, too.V Messrs W. C. Walker and O. J. Harper have been appointed the representatives of the County Council on the Ashburton High School Board. A teaoher, cateohising his scholars, put the following question, " what was made to give light to the world ? " •• Matoheß " oried one o! the youngsteri. The .Wairarapa on Monday brought over 201 passengers from Melbourne for all portß, as against 127 outwards by the Te Anau on Saturday. glSootohmen will soaroely need reminding that to-morrow is St. Andrew's Day, but the general publio may be reminded that it is a Btatutory Bank holiday. While the Eimutaka, which has just arrived from Plymouth, was off the Cape of Good Hope one of the passengers fell overboard and was most gallantly resoued by Connell, *tt professional swimmer hailing from Sydney. ' Excuse this bit of saroasm,' said Smith to Jones, ' but I must say that you are an m. famous sooundrel. 1 ' Pardon this bit of irony,' aid Jones to Smith as he knooked him over with a poker.' The following Mayoralty eleotions are announced, viz. :— Lyttelton, Mr S. B. Webb ; Dunedin, Mr H. Gourley ; Oamaru, Mr David Dunn ; Greymouth, Mr John Mitohell ; Thames, Mr Carpenter; Masterton, Mr Benall ; Wanganui, Mr Parsons. The diamond tiara which the Duke o* Aoata presented to his bride lately ooat £17,000. It oontaina eleven hundred and fifty stones, and is bo arranged that it can be taken to pieces and converted into neoklaoe, bracelets, earrings, and a small diadem. 11 Do you pull teeth gratis, mister ? " said a ferooious-looking tramp to a village dentist. " No," replied the dentist politely, " but I have a bulldog that inserts them gratis." " I won't wait to consult 'im," growled the loafer as he shambled out. A curious faot revealed by the phonograph is that people generally do not know their own voices. The husband will recognise his wife's voice m a phonogram, and the wife will recognise the husband's, but neither will recognise their own speech. ' Nervous passenger (on Amerioan railway) : " Conduotor, why are we running at such a frightful rats of speed ? " Conduotor (reassuring) : " There's a rotten bridge, madam, half a mile ahead, and \se want to get over it with as little strain as )posaible." Collapse of N.P. A sale of interest to the sporting publio is announoed by Messrs Friedlander Bros, for Saturday next, when Mr P. Williams will submit to the hammer, on aooount of Mr Isaac Thomson, the following race horses, now m training, viz. :— The trotting mare Wakanui, bay gelding Battler, and a chestnut mare by Perkin War beck I. out of an Arab mare. Writing of the unseasonable weather the " Oamaru Mail " amusingly says : — lt would appear that not only has New Zealand drifted southward, but that the islands have changed their position, and that what was once north is now south anl vice versa; Either Petrie'a geography or the colony is all wrong, and one I or the other must be rectified. \ : Apropos of shipment by refrigerator we learn that an enteiprising Invercargill merchant reoently despatched m this way to London a consignment of Stewart Island oysiurn, \ttiloli nui.ca iv Aiot ulaau uuuditibn. The&u New Zealand " natives " like ' od'r natives the Maori footballers, were muoh appreciated. "What is it that makes the rich man richer, and the poor man poorer ? " shouted a Socialist orator the other evening. The proper answer to this question wottld have been " monopoly," and the orator waited for some one to give it. He wai therefore very muoh disgusted when a new-fledged member who bad not been properly pouted got up and yelled " Beer I " A concert and ball under the auspices o' the Ashburton Caledonian Sooiety will be held m the Oddfellows' Hall on Boxing-night, the evening of the day on which the Society's Annual Sports are held. It was announoed that the Druids were to give an entertainment on that night, but there had been a misunderstanding whioh has now been arranged, the Druids deferring their entertainment till another date. A railway train whioh has juit been constructed m France for the Emperor of China, is about to be shipped at Marseilles. It consists of six carriages three of which are for the Emperor's own use. They are most Bumptuously deoorated and furnished, and doors and panels are ornamented with immense brass dragons. In eaoh of the Imperial saloons is a throne at one end, with a small table for opium smoking m front of it. Worphinomania is alarmingly on the increase m Paris, especially among women belonging to the idle classes of Bociety, who supply themselves with a syringe and a small quantity of the poison, whioh they covertly absorb by subcutaneous injeotion. So prevalent has the habit become that it hai been found necessary to place the Bale of the drug under very stringent regulations; and tha [other day a chemist at Senlis was fined £34 and imprisoned for a fortnight, for having dispensed a small quantity of the article to a oustomer without the written authority of a medical man. At Oordova, that far-famed seat of Moorish splendour, there are still remaining a number pf monster orange trees known to be 70Q years old. Their trunks are partly hollow, their bark oracked and rough, yet each year these dingy old giants yield their 7000 to 10,000 luboioub orangoa as if m the heyday of their youth. Even m England, at Hampton Court, where the treeu are raised only ae i a ouriosity and carefully sheltered by glass, there are several treeß known to be over 300 years old. There is also an orange tree m the Convent of St Sabine at Borne which it knowp to be over 680 years old.The latest Parisiap panard is a new flirtation dodge coming from Berlin. In the simple, apparently oareleis, placing of an innooent postage stamp a whole love story oan be read. If the stamp is stuck on oorrectly it meanß " I desire your friendship ; " if sideways it asks "Do you love me ? " If the head is put downwards it says " Write no more," and if placed on the wropg end qf tljq letter it meano "Write at once." There is a long list of variations and it has been noticed at' the general post offioe m Paris that the clerks •xamine Jetjera wfth far mop attention than formerly, Our Melbourne correspondent writes?— One hears some curious things about these Bweeps ana their results.. I waa told the following, though I will not vouoh for it j— A oertain pressman on one of our large city dailies was tempted to send a pound to Sydney, and reoeived his tioket m due course. But h.e was a good young man, a member of the Young ftfen'fl Clhriatten Association, and bis conscience began to plague tu'm for having lent his countenance to gambling. Eventually he sold his tioket before the Bweep wbb drawn —sold it to a godless youth for ten (shillings The tioket drew Mentor, and the sweep was for £10,000. There is no madder man m Melbourne than this same pressman, and it is safer to play #ith ijynaraitp than to mention races or sweeps to him juet now. The best Remedy for Inpigestton — Norton's Camomile Pf^s are .confidently recommended as a simple remedy for indigestion, which is the cause of nearly all ifha diseases to which we are subject. Norton's Pills, with justice called the " natural strengthener of the human stomach," act as a powerful ,tonic and gentle aperient, are mild m their operation, and safe under auy circum. tanc.es Sold m bottles a.f is i£d, 2s oh 4 S > by aU^edjcjnefly^dorsJthyougtiout the ytotia*

! The channel of the Congo can be traced for i a hundred miles out to sea, having a depth of 1432 feet just at the river's moulh. Messrs Baker, Foster, and McMillan, who have been appointed Commissioners to classify the land comprised within the area of the rune, started on their mission yesterday. They will begin at Me Haven and work southwards m the first instanoe, The cantata "Under the Palrau; or the JewiVh Flower Festival " will be rendered at the Oddfellowß' Hall this evening by the Weeloynn ohoir, assisted by friends, Everything promises wel), and there will doubtle3S be a large attendance. A West Coast exchange saya that Greymouth thieves are not particular as to what they annex. The " Argus " says :— Or Hildebrand astonished the oounoil the other evening when he informed them that the iron railings round several graves had been stolen. This was oorrorobrated and particular inßtanoes mentioned. Or Kilgour said that he had given up purchasing old metal from the time thai; he found a stove which he had left outside, m order to get it repaired, had been broken up and Bold to him as old metal A Foxton gentleman givei a glowing acoount of the flax industry m his neighbourhood. There are eleven mills m full swing, and other bix are now being treoted. These mills are capable of turning out an average quantity of about three and a half tons of dressed fibre per week, - and the average number of hands employed is about 15 per mill. The latest report states that the present value of this materiel is £40 per ton m the Home market, giving the producer here a very handsome margin of profit. Wife (counting over her change afte r making a purchase) — " I guess he's given me the wrong change." Husband (savagely) — •' I thought so, I thought so ; that's the way my hard-earned money goes. Trust a woman to get fooled. Go baok to the oounter and get it made right at once." Wife returns to the oounter and hands the olerk a 2dol bill. Husband— "Why, what have you been doing?" Wife — "Making the ahange right. He gave me 2dols too . much." Husband (more savagely than ever) — " Well, by jings, jou are an idiot." The " Telegraph " says that the New Zealand Loan and Mercantile Agenoy Company, Limited, has just been advised by cablegram from London of the reduotion of what is known as the " management rate," from £d to l-sth of a penny per lb on frozen meat. (The " management rate " inoludes receiving and delivering, and Btorage for four weeks from the time of breaking bulk m the vessel's freezing chambers.) The reduotion takes effect from Deo. Ist, and taken m oonjunotion with the reoent freight oontraot at l£d per lb, should stimulate the export of frozen meat considerably. According to the " Iron Age " the longest Btraight reach of railway m the world is on the New Argentine Paoifio railway from Buenos Ayres to the foot of the Andes. For a distance of two hundred and eleven miles the line is laid without a ourve. The level nature of the oountry will be evident from the faot that ihere is neither a cutting nor an embankment whioh is deeper or higher than one yard. The entire absence of wood from the plain across whioh tbe western end of the road passes his led to the extensive use of inetallio sleepers. Operations have already been begun on the mountain seotion of the road, whioh is to oroas the Andes, and open up communication with the Chilian line. A rioh Btory is told of the Hon. Mr Fergus* recent visit to Woodville" As most people know (oays the *' Manawatu Times "), Mr Fergus is m charge of the Defenoe department, under whioh head the poliae force is classed, and m pursuance of hi*B duties he oalled m at the Woodville police station. Greeting the affable offioer m oharge, Mr FergUß said he bad Borne reoolleotion of meeting him some few years baok down the coast. The constable oould not recall his former acquaintance with the stranger, and facetiously suggested that he oould hardly remember all the prisoners he had under his care; but the humour of the situation was not so apparent to the guardian of the peace when his superior officer oausually mentioned who he wbb. Laßt fall, down at Nantucket, a man was tried for petty laroeny, and was eentenoed by the Judge to three months m gaol* A few days after the trial the Judge accompanied by the Hnentt, was on nis way to the Boston boat, when they passed a man sawiDg wood. The sawyer stopped his work, touched his hat, and said, " Good morning." The Judge looked at him a moment, passed on a short distance, then turned a glance backward, with the question, " Why, Sheriff, isn't that the man I sentenced to three months m gaol ? " MYes," replied the Sheriff, hesitatingly; ••that's the man; but you- -you see, Judge, we — we haven't anyone m gaol now, and we thought it a useless expense to hire somebody to keep the gaol for three months just foi thiß one man ; so I gave him the gaol key, and told him that if he'd sleep there at nights it would be all right," The best medicine is Sander and Sons' Eucalypti Extract. Test its eminent power, ful effects m ooughs, colds, influenza, etc. — the relief is instantaneous. Thousands give the most gratifying testimony. His Majesty the King of Italy and medical syndicates all over the globe are its patrons. Bead the official reports that accompany each bottle. We have no occasion to offer rewards m proof of the genuineness of our references. Tbe official reports of medioal clinics and universities, the official oommunioation of the Consul-General for Italy at Melbourne ; the diploma awarded International Exhibition, Amsterdam — all these are authentio doouments, and, as such, not open to doubt. We add here epitome of one of the various oases treated at the clinio of Sohultz, M.D., Professor, etc.—" C.8., 24 years old { congestional abscess on the thigh. Incisions made m Iwp places. Although' Lister's dressing was applied, the secretion became, two days later, very copious, and had adopted a foetid, decomposed oharaoter. The temperature rose enormoasly. In oonsequence the dressing was removed, and m its place were made during the day-time repeated irrigations with Eucalypti Extraot. The offensive foeter disappeared very soon, the fever abated within a few days, and the patient recovered after the lapse of several weeks. In this instanoe we must not lose sight of the faot that the latter treatment saved the patient's life.' — (Advfc., 3

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http://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18881129.2.5

Bibliographic details

LOCAL AND GENERAL., Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2000, 29 November 1888

Word Count
2,511

LOCAL AND GENERAL. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2000, 29 November 1888

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