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(AftebE, A. Pob's "The Bells.") Hear the thunder of the Bkatei— Boiler skateß I How my soul bo supersensitive their row infernal hates 1 When I'm half a mile from the door Gomes the deaf 'ning, maddening rolling Of those wheels upon the floor — That maddening, monotonous, reverberatiDg roar Of the skates 1 Hear the whirring and the wbizzling Of the skates, Mark the unacoustomod antics, Strugges ludicrously frantic, As eaoh figure there gyrates, In a human panorama, ' Mid a oaoophonio clamor, Men and women, girls and boys, Make a horrid, hideous noise, Like a huge titanic hammer That some Herouleß employs. Oh, the skates 1 See the ekater on those wheels, How he reels. Oh t see the look of agony his countenance reveals, And he knows and he feels That his toes and his heels Are quite beyond controlling When he onoe commenoes rolling On those wheels. They are either brass or wooden, And they'll let him down bo sudden On bis seat, That he'll wonder, wonder, wonder, At the awful clap of thunder When the floor rose up from underneath his feet. g$ Hear the rumbling, see the tumbling On the skates. How each joist, and beam, and rafter Oscillates. Hear the mocking Bound of laughter That eaoh downfall follows after, And all the tender feelings of the victim lacerates ; For the public Bitting there, With expeotant, eager stare, Diabolically waits till the tyro on the skates Tumbles down Like a Btone, With a frown and a groan, And then rising m confusion, Madly rubs each sore contusion, Swearing skating's a delusion . An<L> pn»x«. -^ -■-,■• There's the expert on his gliding • Skimming skates See him heading, BwayiDg, leaning, Like a ship he goes oareening ; Doing m and outßide edges, drawing sinuous figure eights. Swiftly nearing Disappearing, Verging, veering, deftly steering He pauses not a moment, and he never heßitates, But faster flies and faster, For he's evidently master Of the skates. See them thunder, glide and blunder On the skates. How their dignity each tumble irritates, " How they roll, roll, roll, How they olaßb, collide, and olink, Till they agonise my soul By their olatter at the rink. Bound and round and round again, In a bort of endless chain — A chain of human beings where eaoh skater forms a link. He is wise who hesitates Ere be raßhly tempts the Fates By trusting his anatomy on those deoeptive Bkateß At the rink. Bo they oeastlesaly continue With a vigor no oatastropbe abates. Oirouitously wheeling m. an intervening Bcroll, So they roll, roll, roll. And tumblers pay the toll On a journey that's monotonous, and mean* ingless, and droll, On a gyrating journey that no object has nor goal; But because it is the fashion they must all insanely roll On the running, rumbling, riaky Boiler skates, ••Bruce Herald."

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Bibliographic details

THE SKATES, Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 1978, 24 October 1888

Word Count

THE SKATES Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 1978, 24 October 1888