The Ashburton Guardian. Magna Est Veritas Et Prevalebit. MONDAY, JANUARY 16, 1882.
[lssued at 430 p.m. j
The Timaru Resident Magistracy.— Mr Joseph Beswick has been appointed Resident Magistrate of Timaru. But who is coming to preside over our Court ?
Railway Arrangements for the Cricket Match.— The railway arrangements in connection with the visit of the English Eleven to Christchurch will be found elsewhere.
Bazaar. —A bazaar in aid of the Catholic Church Building Fund will be held in the Town Hall on January 20th, 21st, and 22nd. The bazaar will be opened by his Worship the Mayor.
Police Court.— There was no business at the Police Court this morning. The near approach of the harvest has apparently caused quite an exodus of rowdy characters from the town. The drunken season is now over until after harvest, when there may be expected to be a little more money about. The English Eleven at Dunedin. — The match between the Otago men and the English Eleven concluded on Saturday afternoon, the Englishmen securing an easy victory, as had been anticipated. The totals of the scores made were as follows : —Otago Eighteen, Ist innings, 84 ; 2nd do., 74 ; Grand total, 158. All England Eleven, Ist innings, 156 ; 2nd do. (for six wickets) 54 ; Grand total, 210.
The Ashburton Library.— Mr W. St. G. Douglas writes to us:—“l have just noticed a paragraph in the Guardian of the 13th inst, advising that a subscribers’ suggestion book be kept in the Library reading-room. Such a book has laid on the reading-room table for some years, but only a small number of entries have been made in it.” We are afraid that there is not so much public interest taken in our Library as there ought to he. Christchurch Exhibition.— Owing ito circumstances over which the promoters have “no control,” the opening of the above has been deferred till Easter Monday, April 10th. The delay arises in consequence of a cablegram received by Mr Twopeny yesterday afternoon from London, stating that, owing to a large portion of the English exhibits not being able to leave by the last Orient steamer, they cannot possibly arrive hero till the end of March.
A Big Crop of Wheat.— This morning’s Press says “Mr Peter Muir, of Springston, noted for the magnificent crops of wheat ho grows, is now cutting a crop which surpasses all his previous productions. The crop stands between six and seven feet high, the ears are from four to six inches long and number from sixty to 100 grains in each ear. This is one of the finest crops ever grown in the district, and competent judges estimate the average yield at from sixty to seventy bushels per acre. The English Eleven at Christchurch. —The following have been chosen by the selection committee of the Canterbury Cricket Association to play against the English Eleven at Christchurch on Friday, Saturday, and Monday, January 20, 21, and 23:—Messrs D. Ashby, W. H. Atack, E. .J. Cotterill, W. J. Cotterill, A. Chapman, H. Edser, B. T. A. Fuller, E. Fowler, J. Fowler, J. Fowke, J. Ha.’rtland, A. Longden, W. E. Leach (captain), W. V. Millton, W. P. Reeves, C. Strange, G. Watson. F. Wilding. Emergencies; J. D. Fairhurst, P. Philpot. Umpire : R. T. M'Donnell Cost of the Colonies. — A Parliamentary return has been issued of the cost of the several colonies of the Empire to the British Exchequer between 1869-70 and 1879-80. The net expenditure during that period for civil and other services was L 2,285,310 ; and for military services, L 26,406,189. In 1879-80, the net tdtal for army purposes was 1,6.413 ?j!8, exclusive of L 30,646, the amount by which the receipts from Ceylon exceeded the expenditure. The sums allowed for military services during the year mentioned were : —Gibralter, L 387.196 ; Malt p 1.391,666 ; Cyprus, L 74.020; Mauritius, 47,001; Bermuda, L 182,327 ; St. Helena, L 23.501 ; Hong Kong, L 80.856; South Africa, L 4,842,291; Jamaica, L 72,760; Bahamas, L7.G24 ; Honduras. L 10.313 ; West Indies, L 104.622 ; Nova Scotia, L 147.492 ; West Coast of Africa, L 42.546 ; Straits Settlements, LI 8,506 ; and the Western A‘ustralias, L 11,174. j A Classical Washerwoman. —There is a party of the name of Margaret Clark, at Wanganui, and she is a laundress. There is also a solicitor there named Andrew Duncan, who has taken advantage of Margaret’s services to have his washing done. The fair creature appears to have gone to Mr Duncan’s office to “ dun ” him, and thereupon a storm ensued, out of which Margaret preferred an assault case against the lawyer. The case went against the Washtub, and thereupon the laundress airs her grievances in a letter to the Herald. The style may be judged from the heading, which is, " Fiat Justitia Ruat Coelnm,” and the body of the letter contains several other high flown quotations and phrases in “ furrin” languages. Possibly Madame Clark is a blue stocking, who is at present down in the world. The theory is not a probable one, however. It is more likely that some one else has written the letter and she has signed it. Latin at the washtub is’rather incongruous. .-.J
Elz Bros.’ Coach Factory.—Anotificaion by this firm appears elsewhere. Tenders. —Tenders are invited by Mr T. Bird for the erection of a cottage. Dramatic Club. —The next rehearsal jf the above takes place to-morrow at 1. 30 p.m. sharp. May Bank Works. —Attention is called to Mr F. S. Shearer’s advertisement in another column. Borough Valuation List. —Mr C. Braddell, Town Clerk, notifies that the valuation list for the Borough of Ashburton for 1832 is now open for inspection. Upper Ashburton Road District. —Mr R. D. Pullar, Clerk to Upper Ashburton Road Board, notifies that the valuation list for the several sub-divisions of the road district for 1882 is now open for inspection.
Mount Somers Road Board. —Mr C. J. W. Cookson, Clerk to the Mount Somers Road Board notifies that the valuation list for the district is open for inspection at tho Road Board Office Mount Somers. The Compliments of the Season. —A woman named Alice Wagg (decidedly an appropriate name) was ordered to be imprisoned for seven days by the Central Police Bench at Sydney, for having used bad language, and then with heartiness wished the magistrates “ A merry Christmas and happy -New Year.” Underground Rail. —No line in England carries the same number of passengers, or carries them so cheaply and pays so largo a dividend, as the Underground Railroad of London. The passengers last year numbered 110,000,000. Several of the underground and overground railways carry workmen twelve miles a day for a pen ly, thus enabling them to enjoy cheap houses and country air.
A Bitter Disappointment. —There was great consternation at the Wanganui Hospital on Christmas Day. A local paper says, Mr Lingard, the brewer, very kindly presented the establishment with sixteen gallons of beer, in order to help the patients to a jovial Christmas dinner. During Saturday night one of the inmates, by name John Kiltie, softly awoke from his slumbers, made his way to the beer keg, drunk as much as made him drunk for the next twenty-four hours, and allowed the remainder to trickle gently on the floor. Thanks to this enterprising prospector, the patients on Christmas morning were unable to participate in Mr Lingard’s bounty, and the name of John Kiltie is not held by them in particular veneration.
A Queer Calling. There is no end to the strange trades of modern life. One of the oddest is surely that of the obscure and ingenious individual whom for want of a recognised professional title we may call the' caterer in newspaper cuttings. The caterer’s business is to collect all the notices of pictures which appear in all the London and provincial papers, to cut them up, and to travel round with the snips to the different artists they concern, who are invited to buy for the modest sum of 6d a snip. If the beginner has a proper interest in seeing his or her name in print the sympathising agent for “ artistic correspondence ” will persuade him to a standing order, and fora small yearly sum he will become possessed of all the pleasant or unpleasant nothings which concern him in the press. A calculation of the profits of this curious business can only end in perplexity. How many sixpences does a Times Academy notice cut up into ? How many separate criticisms does a successful picture encounter in a year 1 How many artists care to buy up their reviews 1 A Savings Bank Fraud. —ln a case tried at Maidstone Assizes, in England, in which a solicitor stole a deposit book belonging to a comrade, forged his signature, and obtained L2O which he had placed in the Post office Savings Bank, counsel for the Treasury denied the liability of the Post Office to pay the amount to the actual depositor, but suggested that the Postmaster-General might depart from this rule owing to the hardship of the present case. Lord Coleridge said the depositor’s claim should be one of right, and not of grace, and he expressed his astonishment that a regulation should have been made which placed the Government in a different position from that of a bank, which had to make good any amount obtained by forgery.
The Gaming and Lotteries Act.— Speaking of the above Act before the Oamaru Bench the other day, Mr O’Meagher said the Act was clearly an infringement of the liberties of the subject, and one worthy of Nicholas the First of Russia, Melikoff, or Tgnatieff. Liberty was the exercise of all their rights natural and political—rights secured to them and their posterity by a real representation of the people. The passing of the Act must fill the minds of all reasonable men with a fear of despotism that left no hope to the people of preserving themselves and theii children from chains, but in common confederacy for common safety. There should be a common confederation of the people of the colony to have the Act repealed, and he hoped that during the next session it would be swept away from the statute book of the country. A Baby Show. —According to a contemporary, Nelson has long been celebrated for its pretty girls, and it seems anxious to acquire a fame for beautiful babies. On New Year’s Day a baby show was held there and twenty-five proud mothers brought their darlings forward. No less than°nine prizes were given, and even these did not suffice to reward the merits of the Nelson babies. The Judges must have had a task almost as difficult as that of Paris when called upon to decide between the claims of the rival goddesses on Mount Ida. Prizes could not be bestowed on all the babies, and so the judges 'decided that the sixteen that were not awarded prizes should be accorded “ hononble mention.” The prize baby was a “ thing of beauty ” by the name of Johnson, and its age was six months. Wo trust that when it grows up it will not bo too conceited. To have won first prize at a baby show in Nelson is certainly a proud distinction, and ought to be a strong recommendation to a young man amongst the ladies.
Save Us prom Our Friends. —A curious incident happened in Marion recently. For some time past (says the JRangitikei Advocate ) a Maori chief of considerable consequence has been confined to his bed, and the other morning he took a sudden change very much for the worse. His friends, thinking he was sure to die, determined to make ready for the final contingency. They told a pakeha friend that the chief was dead, and enquired where they could procure a coffin. They were directed to the establishment of Mr Mewett, and having arrived there told their errand and explained that the coffin must be lined with zinc, because they wished to convey the body to Napier. The undertaker asked for the measurements of the “ corpse,” and these not being forthcoming he proceeded to the place'where it was, in order that he miaht make sure of the dimensions, since to make a u misfit” in a zinc-lined coffin would be rather a serious matter. Arrived at the chief’s residence, he was rather startled to find that the “ body” which he had gone to measure was still a living body. The Maori friends explained that one part of the chief was dead, and they thought the jrest would be by the time the coffin had •been got ready. They insisted on Mr Mewett’s making the coffin, and he has carried out their instructions. Mr Macintosh has prepared the breastplate with the usual inscription, even the a date being filled in.
A Penny Thackeray. —The latest novelty in the publishing line in London is a penny edition of the works of the author of “ Vanity Fair. ”
Harvest Prospects About Oamaru. — Harvesting is in full swing around Oamaru. The yield is likely to be better than was expected owing to the drought. Something like forty bushels are expected. At Papakaio and Hakateremea good yields will be obtained. Holloway’s Pills. —Health or Wealth.— No sane person would hesitate an instant in'* the choice between these two conditions. Now is the season to secure the former either by restoring or confirming it. These Pills expel all impurities from the system which fogs, foul vapours, and variable temperatures engender during winter ; this medicine also acts most wholesomely upon the skin by disgorging the liver of its accumulated b-le, and by exciting the kidneys to more energetic action ;it increases the appetite for food and strengthens the digestive process. The stomach and liver, which most disorders originate, are fully under the control of these regenerative Pills, which act very kindly yet most efficiently on the tenderest bowels. —[Advt. 1