Brown says the best way to retain a young lady’s affections is not to return them. The Dean. —“ Well, I’m glad you’re getting on well in your new place, Jemima. When I’m in London I will call and see you.” Jemima—“Oh, sir, missus don’t allow no followers !”— Punch, Almost Personal. —Professor (to student, who writes, not for the masses, but for the educated few); “ You should write so that the most ignorant of your audience can understand all you can say.” Student (puzzled) : “ What part of my production is not clear to you, sir 1” “ How many glasses did the Herr Doctor drink, Gretchen V asked a German landlord of his daughter, on his guest leaving the cellar. “ Eight, father,” replied the girl, “ The rascal!” exclaimed the irate host. “ Why he gave me strict orders never to drink more than three !”
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Page 2 Advertisements Column 4, Ashburton Guardian, Volume III, Issue 520, 28 December 1881
Page 2 Advertisements Column 4 Ashburton Guardian, Volume III, Issue 520, 28 December 1881
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