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CHISPA’S LETTER.

“ I am not yet so hald that you can see my brains.”— Longflllow. The leading feature of the week has been the School Committee affair, and varied are the opinions expressed on the position of matters. It is evident that there is going to be some little stir over school concerns, and seeing that Sergeant Felton is personally concerned in them now, Constable Bob Neil is to be temporarily promoted to the charge of the town while the school fight goes on. He assures me that he will be no respecter of persons, and if the Sergeant should become “ rumbungtious ” and bang the Saint, he’ll run in his superior officer just as willingly as he would clap the darbies on any of the other limbs of our free and uusectarian system of education. He won’t handcuff the Doctor ; he’s a farseeing man is Neil. He will put old Daly in charge of the Chairman, so that in the event of any broken heads a medical man will be sure to be handy, and Daly has been supplied with a speech to deliver whenever the Doctor gets angry; It is this —“Rape yer timper, Dr., and down’t disterb yer nerves. You’ll want them in foine trim, for there may be ligs to saw off, and split heads to nail together.” Constable Smart will be back by the next meeting, from Hs recent rustication in Sydney, and he gets the position of umpire to sco fair play, and the duty of preventing foul hitting will fall to him. His prowess in the Burnham School highwaynien affair eminently qualifies him for the position of standing by, and seeing that nobody bolts.

Science is a “ catching” disease. Since Mr. St. Hill expressed his great admiration for it in the abstract, but his abhorrence of it in that little detail supplied by Dr. Stewart about pigeon—a—a—guano (that’ll do), there has boon quite a commotion in our little scientific world. Mr. St. Hill has many admirers, but there are many who dissent from him as well, and the latter have taken hugely to the guano idea. Pigeons are now at a premium in some quarters, and trials have been made with sundry tanks. The result of these trials is many wry faces, bilious-looking countenances, and strong assertions that there is nothing like science after all. I accept these assertions at once as unassailable fact.

In connection with our projected Industrial Exhibition, .my Irish friend Mike Murphy sends me a proposal. It is a very momentous one, and in this rising township it ought to have full consideration. He points out as a fact that Ashburton is a rising town—that no place in the world in proportion to its size could send such a swarm of children across the railway line to school of a morning as we can do here ; and he suggests that a baby show should be held on the’ first evening of the exhibition, Let me advise Mike that though, as he says, we compete in cattle, sheep, horses, and almost every other living thing down to canaries, we don’t in this sedate community, compote in rearing babies. Besides we can control the noise of a bullock with a punch in the ribs, but there would be a row if anyone were to punch a show baby for caterwauling. But if Mike does want a baby show —he has eight to choose an exhibit from —he ought to make written application to Mr. Poyntz, who, I have no doubt, w-ould lay the matter before the pigeon and canary men.

“ Go-operation has arisen from dealing in ‘ long sixteen candles and retailers of treacle ’ to manufacturers of worsted and woollens, watches, biscuits. It embraces millers, nailmakers, bootmakers, printers, hosiers, cutlers, fustian manufacturers, etc. Besides, co-operation does its own banking, its own manufacturing, its own importing ; and furthermore, co-operative vessels trade between England and the United States, and the co-operator may build his own house and furnish it—even insure his life, indeed, through co-opera-tive societies. So much has been done in a period extending over less than 40 years. What may be the future development of the system it is impossible even to surmise. ” That’s what Mr. Bateman says about the success of co-operation. But it isn’t always successful Three thirsty souls last week agreed to jbo abstemious, clubbihg their pence to allow; a fourth friend to have askinful —theelubbing to be repeated at the end of the week for another of the quartette, and so on till all had had a spree. No. 1 took too much, and it took all the cash, credit, and power of borrowing to raise enough to pay his fine, so that the three weeks’ beer for Nos. 2,3, and 4of the loving cortipany is not likely to come off —not, at any rate,, on the co-operative principle.

In the telegraphic report of the match at Wanganui, it is stated that in the first innings of the home team the “ rot ” set in, and a mournful procession to and from the wicket was the result, the innings closing for 48. Before this innings had been played the Australians had had theirs, and had gone down in a heap for 40. It has to be mentioned, however, that Blackham had been injured, and didn’t play, so that only nine men played the crowd of Wanganuians. The “ rot ” seems to have set in upon the Australians as well as upon the Wanganui men, for they were virtually beaten by Nelson ; and only to make 49 against WanganuJ is something awful —especially after wiping out “ the best cricketers in New Zealand ” so effectually as they did at Christchurch. I am inclined to fear that the. Nelson cherry wine was too strong for the Australian stomach, and the Wanganui homemade Burgundy has finished the job. Ohispa.

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Permanent link to this item

http://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18810212.2.13

Bibliographic details

CHISPA’S LETTER., Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 267, 12 February 1881

Word Count
974

CHISPA’S LETTER. Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 267, 12 February 1881

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