Article image
Article image
Article image
This article displays in one automatically-generated column. View the full page to see article in its original form.

The Age of Pads.

(Cleveland Voice.) This is an age of pads. We have the lung pad, the corn pad, the bunion pad, the foot pad, and, we understand, the ladies’ pad. Even the newspapers pad, by which means otherwise lean dispatches are made to appear fat and rosy with enterprise. Our young men pad. If this is doubted consult your tailor, and he will tell you that the the first thing your man of fashion says when ordering a suit, is, “ Be sure and put plenty of padding in.” So the tailors pad. Your baker pads when he puts in ingredients to make his bread spongy. Your shoemaker pads the soles of your shoes with brown paper if he is dishonest. Actors pad in order to make themselves presentable, and the actor who awakens the liveliest sensations of love in the breast of the susceptible maiden, whep, qnpadded, is frequently found bow-legged and ungainly. Politicians pad their speeches with promises and borrowed ideas. Preachers pad their sermons by industriously reading sermons not usually accessible to' their parishioners. Talmage pads his sermons by vigorous exercise of his legs. The Congressman pads his small abilities by employing his secretary to write his speeches. The lawyer pads his cases by the use of fictitious irrele-

Vant testimony. The journalist pads his editorials by the use ot the editorial shears. The confectioner pads his wares by the use of adulterations. The railroad magnate pads stocks by the watering process. The banker pads his wealth by charging 8 per cent, where the legal rate is 6. The circus man pads his show by the use of gorgeous posters. The grocer pads his sugar with sand. Instead of this being called the age of invention, it should straightway be christened the age of pads.

This article text was automatically generated and may include errors. View the full page to see article in its original form.
Permanent link to this item

http://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18810127.2.11

Bibliographic details

The Age of Pads., Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 253, 27 January 1881

Word Count
299

The Age of Pads. Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 253, 27 January 1881

  1. New formats

    Papers Past now contains more than just newspapers. Use these links to navigate to other kinds of materials.

  2. Hierarchy

    These links will always show you how deep you are in the collection. Click them to get a broader view of the items you're currently viewing.

  3. Search

    Enter names, places, or other keywords that you're curious about here. We'll look for them in the fulltext of millions of articles.

  4. Search

    Browsed to an interesting page? Click here to search within the item you're currently viewing, or start a new search.

  5. Search facets

    Use these buttons to limit your searches to particular dates, titles, and more.

  6. View selection

    Switch between images of the original document and text transcriptions and outlines you can cut and paste.

  7. Tools

    Print, save, zoom in and more.

  8. Explore

    If you'd rather just browse through documents, click here to find titles and issues from particular dates and geographic regions.

  9. Need more help?

    The "Help" link will show you different tips for each page on the site, so click here often as you explore the site.

Working