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4t I am not yet so bald that you can see my brains.”—Longfellow.

I have no shares in the Town HaljU Company. I don’t know whether I ought to breathe a thanksgiving for this or pour out regrets. I can see in the Hear future a chance of the hall becoming a good pro-, perty, but the wox;k to be done before this is brought about is not small. Only a very small sprinkling of the shareholders seem to care a snuff about how the business is conducted, or if it is conducted at all. Some time ago, the directors, tired of; many weary waitings on the nights set aside for general meetings, tried to reduce the number required to be present before business could go on. They knew fit was' easier to round up eight whole-hearted men than fourteen half-hearted ones. But the brighter lights of tho Company yabbered out an enxphatic “ no,” when the voting came. The . result is that Bob Elston has to be retained us “ whip ” for, the Company, and while be courses the absentees, the loyal men sit in the “upper room ” and discuss the advisablonoss of playing Yankee grab for drinks. If the opponents of the reduced quorum movement are Good Templars, there’s an awful responsibility resting on their shoixlders.

High class education must have fallen in value in New Zealand. There were thirty-six applications for the situation of master of the Ashburton'High School, at a salary of L 350 per annum ; and amongst them were men evidently of superior abilities and education —Oxford, Cambridge, and London graduates. It is becoming a question in my mind whether we are not going in too thick altogether for education. It is an acknowledged fact that there have been too many immigrants imported whose capacity for work has been more in tho direction of brains than hands ; and the fact of so many applicants for so paltry a salary as L 350 shews that there must bo a largo number of unemployed among the educated as well as among the. working classes. Anyhow, the HiglqSchool Board is hard to please. It seems that among the thirty-six aspirants there must have been some difficulty ixx making a selection, iixasmuch as thirty-one were weeded out and five selected; and of these one at least lives so far axvay as Wellington. But the High School Board are rich and proportionately liberal. They are going to pay the expenses of the five to visit Ashburton, and wait upon the Board, who will then have an opportunity of judging of their physical as well as their mental abilities. Happy candidates. , Happy High School Board; and happy students of the future. *

Some of our local institutions don’t seem to pull well together. The last turn up seems to have been a sort .of. quadrangular duel in which the Borough Council, the Fire Brigade, the Dramatic Society, and the Town Hall Company have all taken a part. So; far as the ; old man can fish it out, it seems that the Fire Brigade wanted to raise the wind, and with that laudable object in view, they made up their minds to give a concert and dance in the Town Hall, and; applied to the owners thereof, for the use of that imposing structure. It was granted to them

for a certain night, but then the Dramatic Club, through its enterprising guide and philosopher (his name is not David Garrick, by a long chalk), stepped in,’and setup a previous claim on the ground that-he and ‘his club held a i pre-emptiye right to the-hall whenever they ■■■had a blood and thunder . .drama in which to e.x.hibit their talents. , The directors of the hall sat in solemn conclave on the question, and after listening to evidence, hearing arguments, and weighing all the bearings of bo weighty a matter, they decided to let the A.D.C. have the hall ; whereupon a great cry arose on the side of the vanquished ones. Joe Dolman, whe officiates as tjio father of the Fire Brigade”, andtalces aiivcly interest inhischikfs’welfare, -let out,-- and. Iris-language -was described as being “ impertinent,” .inasmuch ,as he told the directors that if the Towr Hal) was on fire “ho would stop in bee and let the darned, thing- burn, down;’ Then arose a cry of indignation, and tin city fathers put. on ...sack.-cloth. and aahei and wept, because their adopted child ha< gone astrajb and,had acted wrongly ii their sight. And they ulade things Warn for Joe, and called upouj his bos to chastise him severely, and this wa done, according to their words, and thebos verily on heavily.' ’ And ’ this Fir Brigade had among its children axxothe bad boy named George Parkin, and then was also a lad: about the same ago win sat at the feet of the city fathers, am it became'visible to the city fathers tha George yearned more towards his brethre in the Brigade thair to the fathers, an the prophets have .said that a whip wit many tails is in store for George, therefor is George at the present time in gres tribulation and vexation, of spirit.

The Wakanui Road Board are down on gorse, and very properly too.. I think the Longbeach Board should follow suit. There are a good many chains of road in front of a certain man’s property that are gradually being overrun with the prickly fence element. That certain man shall be nameless, as I have no wish to cause a run on your capital letters, nor to injure the chance Winalow-Tinwald may have of separation, for if that nameless man were to be sat upon for gorse just now it would break his heart. John Grigg’s figures are too heavy as they aTe, but a gorse prosecution would be the last straw for the camel.

This is how the Wanganui Chronicle speaks of its contemporary the Wanganui Ilerald :—“Although we were welbaware that his performances in untrustworthy or purely fictitious narrative would match those of the old serpent, when occasiondemanded theiioexhibition, we could not but regret that patient industry.and brilliant inventive powers should be so misapplied. ” What a waste of words to call a man a liar. Chisfa.

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Bibliographic details

CHISPA’S LETTER., Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 208, 4 December 1880

Word Count

CHISPA’S LETTER. Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 208, 4 December 1880

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