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THE DOCTOR’S HEAVY BRIGADE.

❖ It is said that the late Dr. Guthrie once attended divine worship as a hearer in one of the Highland kirks on a warm Sunday afternoon. What he saw, heard, and thought, is to be gathered from the folowing impromptu ; O’er their demoted head While the law thundered, Snugly and heedlessly Snored the six hundred. Great was the Preacher’s theme ; Screw’d on was all the steam ; Neither with shout nor scream, Could he disturb the dream Of the six hundred. Terrors to right of them, Terrors to left of them, Terrors in front of them, Hell itself plundered Of it’s most awful things ; All those unlawful things, Weak minded Preacher flings At the dumbfoundered. Boldly he spoke and well; All on deaf ears it fell; Vain was his loudest yell Volleyed and thundered ; For, caring (the truth to tell) Neither for Heaven nor Hell, Snored the six hundred. Still with redoubled zeal Still he spoke onward, And with a wild appeal, Striking with hand and heel, Making the pulpit reel, Shaken and sundered, Called them the church’s foes, Threatened with endless woes : Faintly the answer rose, (Proof of their sweet repose) From the united nose Of the six hundred. MORAL. Sermons of near an hour, Too much for human power ; Prayers too, made to match, (Extemporaneous batch Woefully blundei'ed.) With a service of music, Fit to turn every pew sick— Should it be wondered ? Churches that will not move Out of the ancient grove Through which they have floundered. If they -will lay behind Still must expect to find, Hearers of such a kind As the six hundred. Dr. Guthrie.

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THE DOCTOR’S HEAVY BRIGADE. Ashburton Guardian, Volume 1, Issue 67, 28 February 1880

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