The versatile Paddy Murphy, of Lambton Quay', Wellington, has supplied the following to the “ Saturday' Advertiser :’ Lambtou Key, Wellington, Dec. 27th. ’Pen mo conshinse, when the news o’ the ruckshions at Timaru raiched me oftis on Lambton Quay I was tnndhersthruck, so I was ; for in these quiet times its ref resilin’ to bear av a natc shindy. Bo the liokey poker, I was only sorry that I wasen’t on the scene av ackshun, for betchnnc you and me I’m getlin blue mouldy for want av a baitin’, so I am. ’Ron me sowl, I was disgusted to hear that the peelers intherfered and spiled the sport. Bad luck to Ihim, they’re always coinin’ where they’re not wanted. Sure, av the boy's wantcd.to imitate the deeds of their glorious anccsthors, why shouldn’t they bo allowed to have it out wid one another in paicc, widout those blackguard bobbies intherfairin’. Faix, its illigant sport braikin’ one another’s heads just for fun. Lavin’ King Billy' an King Sham us altogether out of the question, I think as a mather of principle, men should be allowed to amuse thimsilves now an’agin, by'way' of ricrayashnn. Its a mighty' fine thing, when a man grows ould to be able to show the wounds and scars that he rocayved in the wars, an’ to bo able to hand thim down to his anccsthors and posterity in gineral. I was sorry to lind that the opposin’ armies wor so unequally divided, and small thanks to King James’s fj>rces for baiting sicli a mere handful 6 " the inimy. Is there any tlivnth in the rumor that’s raiched Wellington to the effect that InspectionMallard, av your city', has cautioned the fruithcrcra av ‘Dunaidin aginst displayin’ oranges and apples in the windows, as they might tind to provoke a braich of the paico ? Those bobbies ought to mind their own business,so they ought. I’ve sthruck off the followin’ pome to immortalise
THE SAIOE OF TIMAHU. I. In anshint ages, whin Homer’s pages, Gave all the stages of the Saigc of Throy When false Queen Helen, wid bosom swelling’, In love, sure, fell in wid the Throjan boy; The wars wore gory, for death or glory. So runs the story, they- millions slew. But sure ’twas play, boys, unlike the fray, boys, The other clay, boys, at Tiinaru.
The grand diricthers av the Orange Yicthors (Yc’vc seen the picthcrs av King Billy’s horse), Acldhresscd the brilh’rin :—“We’ll have a gith’rin, An’ bouldly march out, bravo boys, in force, Wid lovely sasbes and soords that flashes ; We’ll cut fine dashes, in full review ; We’ll have an airin’ with banners rairin’, All dangers darin’ through Timaru.” nr. Och, blur-an-ouns, hoys, it wint the rounds, boys, Wid shouts an bounds, boys, aich hayro green, From glen au’nook, a-round bo Timuka, Prepared to march to the battle scene ; Aitch Mick or Pat, he brought stick or hat he Got a Waimate—yor sowls hurroo ! Thin m archill’ proudly, an’ yellin’ loudty, The hoys assirabled in Timaru. iv. The grand paradins, an’ the fine procaidins Av the Orange hayros was the battle sign : No word they utthered, but King Billy flutthered On yallow banners along the line. Prepared for slaughter, they played “Boyne Wather,” Och, maliie murther an’ pilhll-u-u, King James’s-throops, boys, wid yells an’ whoops, boys, Rushed up in groups, hoys, at Timaru. v. They formed a square, boys, in front an’ vair. boys, Begog ’twas quare, boys, to see , them stand An’ one bould head man, wid hair so rod, man, Got up an’ sed, man, unU his band : “ Look here, be jabers, me dacint naybors, Ther soords and sabers will niver do, It’s no use talkin’, we’ll stop their walkin’, Ther color hawkin’ through Timaru. ” VI. A bould Cromwcllan, of powdher smcllhv, Wid fury swellin’, dhrew forth his blade, An’ swore he’d skiver the “Papish” liver That dared to stop him on his grand parade ; A blade dir Knight, boys, prepared to fight, boys, ’Gainst green and while, boys, for red an’ blue, He’ll stand alone, boys, an’ guard the throne, boys, So bould, mavronc, boys, at Timaru. VII. The Peeler squadhron (they’re always botherin’) Wid rayinforcements came on the ground; Inspecthcr Kindlier, that bould difindhev, Look’d mighty fierce, hoys, as lie. gallop’d round. Ses he :— £C Be quiet, don’t raise a riot, For I defy ye to mischief brew ; Don’t rise our ire, or we’ll have to fire, So plaise retire from Timaru. ” VIII. The divil a barm be done to the army, King James’s forces began to dodge ; King William’s laygion, wid the battle raygin’ Inthrinohcd tlicir squadhrons boyant the lodge ; The forces sundhered, an’ the cannons, tundhered, An’ the people wondhered, as the bullets flew, In imaginaahun and disporashun, For ricryashun at Timaru. IX. Ocb ! the wounds an’ bruises, me gintlc muses, Bedad refuses for to indite. The deeds so famous, done for King Sham us, An’ how his army won in the fight; They’re crowned wid c.loi’s in fame’s bright story, The kilt an’ wounded an’ the slain- an’ slew, Will live for ages in histh’ry’s pages, Whilst battle rages at Timaru. Paddy Mujidiiy.
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Ashburton Guardian, Ashburton Guardian, Volume 1, Issue 43, 3 January 1880
THE RUCKSHIONS. Ashburton Guardian, Volume 1, Issue 43, 3 January 1880
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