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CHISPA’S LETTER.

(From 1 lie .■>s,wtnton iicrald, November 29 ) ■‘l mu not yet so bald that you can see my brains.” — Longfellow’

Philology is the study of language, and the philologist who studies, so as to add new words to our already extensive collection in the latest dictionaries, deserves the thanks of the English-speaking world in general. When Ashburton can raise a man equal to adding a word to our vocabulary, Ashburton ought feel duly proud. When Mr. Ivess returned thanks to those who voted for him on Wednesday last, he told Ills audience that purific ition was required in the organisation of the Council ; and, had he been elected Mayor, he would have gone there as a “ purificator. ” No doubt thoughts of the Burnett street drain were floating in his mind at the time,andour omnodern Hercules intended to undertake the task of cleansing the augean stables of the present da} r . For that reason, if for no other, I regret Mr. Ivess’ defeat.

They seem to have some original specimens of natural history down Wakanui way. A case was heard in Court the other day, in which his Worship was asked to decide upon the question of whether pigs were carnivorous animals ; and also if sea gulls were in the habit of .adopting the habits of eagles, with a view to the destruction of lambs ; also, if dogs when out on path excavated residences for themselves in sod fences. The evidence of a Vet. was called in, whose memory served him sufficiently to state that lie had known an old sow act the part of a tiger on one occasion, and go for a lamb. That, however, was the only instance in his recollection, and as the animal in question existed on the other side of the Equator, and no instance could be adduced of pigs becoming butchers in the colonies, it was laid down by the Bench that their reputations had been slandered, and there was no ground for believing that they had acted improperly. The sea gulls were also'acquitted, as it was clearly ostablised that the damage being done by night, and the birds usually retiring to their bods at dark, no case could lie against them ; so that the culprits must have been dogs. One of these dogs was described by a witness as ’ having a penchant for eggs, and the owner of the eggs having a taste that way himself, and being the possessor of a gun as well, endeavored to get within hailing distance of the thief. But up to the present time the eggs still disappearHis Worship, with his usual kind hearted, ness, took the part of the pigs, and informed the bar that he had seen a tiger and a pig living on the most aft’ectionrte terms together. Since that case was heard I have lived on bacon, so much has my estimate of a hog’s value been raised.

We have a life assurance agent here at present, and he is doing a good stroke of business I should say ; but he couldn’t get over the keeper of a locomotive fish shop. The odoriferous purveyor of the finny tribe did not see the utility of insuring his life ; hut the agent stuck to him ; and fish-oh, to get clear, said he wouldn’t do it till he had consulted his lawyers. He gave the agent the names of the whole six legal gentlemen in the town, as being his advisers. As even these learned gentlemen don’t always agree, I imagine it will be some time before the policy will be issued.

A Rambling reporter in a contemporary thus describes a truck used in connection with the Longheach road steamer.

The truck is filled with a ta’l side that can be let down to the railway siding, and across which the animal can be driven from the van without any tumble or vexation. It can be used in the threshing, in carrying wool, grinding bone dust, 80 tons of which it turned out last year, and it might be used for ploughing required.

As I have seen the conveyance and know something about vehicles, I can only acknowledge my ignorance in not discovering the many advantages it possesses. Had it been exhibited going through all the manceuvres described, there would have been a big demand for such trucks. I should very much like to see the truck going through the process of grinding bone dust, perhaps that is done when the “ animal is driven from the van.” The ploughing, however, is a mystery. No wonder that when the author of such a description arrived with his old crock at Lowclitfe, he was taken for a “ sundowner,” and treated accordingly.' Chispa.

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Permanent link to this item

http://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG18791202.2.13

Bibliographic details

CHISPA’S LETTER., Ashburton Guardian, Volume I, Issue 29, 2 December 1879

Word Count
786

CHISPA’S LETTER. Ashburton Guardian, Volume I, Issue 29, 2 December 1879

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