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How to Cook a Husband.

The first thing to be done is to catch him. Having done so, the mode of cooking him so as to make a good dish is as follows .-—Many a good husband is spoiled in the cooking. Some women keep them constantly in hot water, while others freeze them with conjugal coldness ; some smother them with hatred and contention, and still others keep them in pickle all their lives. These women always serve them up with, tongue sauce. Now, it is not to be supposed that husbands will bo tender and good if treated in this way ; but they are, on the contrary, very delicious when managed as follows :—Get a largo jar, called the jar of , carefulness (which all good houswives have on hand); place your husband in it, and place him near the fire of conjugal love ; let the fire be pretty hot ; especially let it be clear ; above all, let the heat be constant ; cover him over with affection ; garnish him over with the spice of pleasantry,'and if you add kisses and other confections, let them be accompanied with a sufficient portion of secrecy, mixed with prudence and moderation.

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How to Cook a Husband., Ashburton Guardian, 25 October 1879

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How to Cook a Husband. Ashburton Guardian, 25 October 1879

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