13 December 1850 Dalmuir hill My dear Mr McLean Papa has just told me that a vessel sails for Hawkes Bay tomorrow and Mr Villiers, one of the elders of our church who are going by it, will take charge of a letter for you. I wrote to you by last mail but I suppose that you did not receive it as you said in your letter by Mr Hickson that you were to start on Monday morning. I was not sure whether I should write in answer or not. I thought however that it would be better to do so as it was possible that something might detain you a few days longer. As you are to be three weeks on your way to Hawkes Bay I have given up all hope that you will spend New Year's Day with me. I am very sorry for it but it will do no good to fret so I must try to be contented. I am glad to hear that you are not quite so lazy in the mornings as you were when you were here. Do you remember how often I was in a fret with you because you would not get up after you had promised the night before that you would take a walk in the garden. I hope you do not intend to behave that way the next time you are here. If you do instead of being in a fret for half an hour I shall be in one for a week. Miss Redish has been staying with me since last Sunday so I have not been able to read much this week but after she is gone I intend to rise very early in the morning and get as much work done as I can so that I may have plenty of time in the evening to read. Your letters were very short. Do not think though I say this that I blame you. I know dearest that you have a great deal to occupy your time. I hope however that if you have an opportunity of writing you will send me a long letter. Although you are away from me I am very happy for I have had nothing to annoy me since you left. Would you believe it Mama has at last found out that I am very fond of you. I do not know why she thinks so now for I always told you that she would not believe I cared for you. I wish I had heard of this opportunity sooner for I would like to have written a much longer letter but I am afraid I must now conclude for Mr Villiers will be here immediately for the letter I shall have a long letter ready to send by the first vessel so you must forgive this very hurried epistle. I hope you will be able to read it. I am sure you will have great difficulty in doing so. Be sure dearest that you take care of yourself. Goodbye and believe me to remain Ever your affectionate Susan D Strang