Mr. and Mrs. Bowser

Waihi Daily Telegraph, Volume IV, Issue 1157, 29 November 1904, Page 4

Mr. and Mrs. Bowser

"Do von know,'' suddenly observed Mr. Bowser, as he looked up from his pnper th e other evening," do you know that wo Mo going to tho poorliouso at railroad speed ?" "Why, noi" replied Mrs. Bowser in considerable alarm.

" Weil, wo ore, and I think it is high time I called a halt. " This reckless wasto and unheard of extravagance must ceaso I'm gofoe to put my foot down " " W-what reckless wasto?" s>hn nsked. "This reckless waste every day in the week," ho severely replied, "It is evident to me you have no idea of iho vilun of money, and, that you let everybody swindlo yon. I Imvo been lookiii',' over some of the grocery and meal bills, nm' it is positively shocking the way you have been robbed." "Why, Mr. Bowser I Nooiw can buy rnoie carefully than I do. I am sometimes ashamed of myself for being so . stingy." "No woman is a carelul buyer, Mr?, Bowser. The Lord didn't create her thai way. Giye her a ten dollar b-ll and sho becomes perfectly reckless. I am sallied that I can cut down our expenses at least soven dollars per week, and i proposo lo do the buying myself hercnltcr." "It wasn't four weeks ago that .you, were complimenting mo on my financiering," she protested, Mr Bowser arose, crossed his hinds tinder his coattail, and balancing on his heels and toes said: " Mrs Bowser, no wife should answer her husband back. Ho is the head of the house. He knows what is best. Ho was created to know. I shall certainly run this house for the next two welts to show you what I can do, but I shall mako a saving to open youroyes in astonishment." "Well if things do not go right you must not blamo me," she rejoined "Blame you I When dill blonno you? You can't be blamed because .you don't know the valuo of money. No woman can. As a man I am simply sorry for your sex." Aftor breakfast next morning Mr Bowser entered tho kitchen and asked tho cook what was wanted. Sho gave him a list of about twenty different articles, and he put it in his pocket and walked out. An hour later two quarts of beans and a loaf of bread woro delivered from tho grocery. When Mr Bowser Bat down to noon lnnoh ho found nothing but bread and butter and water, " What does this mean ?" ho doaiandod of Mrs Bowser across tho table. "You are doing the buying now," sho quietly replied, "Yes—um," And in order to spite me I supposo you instructed the girl to throw everything outdoors ? I understand, Mrs, Bowser—l understand ?" " Thorewaa nothing to throw out. She gave yon a list of things wanted, and you did not sond them." , Mr Bowser had no moro to say, Soon after his departure tho butcher's boy brought a pieco of beef and two dozen clothes-pins, At dinner ho found the meat and somo bread and butter. " How much have you been paying for beefsteak ?" ho asked of Mrs Bowser. " From fourteen to sixteen ecnts." 1 ", And I got this for'eleven I That shows tho difference at once. No wonder wo were on our way to the poorhouse!" Mr Bowser broke his knifo in trying to out the steak, and tho small piece bo finally got into his mouth almost pulled his tcolii ont; but he smiled and pretended to bo pleased, and when he shoved back from the table ho rubbed his hands and said; "A week ago to-day yon paid out 6 dollars, My expenses for the day are only 64 cents. Quito a differonce, eh? Tho grocer and butcher looked as if they had 'heard something drop." At broakfast next morning Mr. Bowser

fonnd some panesikea and water on the I table. Ho was about to break forth when he caught himself and observed: " Oar great fault as a nation, Mr', Bowser, is that wo cat too much, Wo have become a race of gourmands and dyspeptics," " And this will cure us, I supposo ?" as she looked froin the pauenkes to tho water and back. "It will help to, I haven't tholoast doubt that both of us will feol hotter today than for a week brfore; and still furthor, we know that wo have not been highway robbed." That day Mr, Bowser sent soap and po* tatoes. The next day he sent coffee and staroh. On tho next ho ee-jt tea and blue.

" Mrs. Bowser," ho began, as ho sat down to his fourth dinner and found only coffee and potatoes on tho table, " I have now been running this houso for four days," " Yos,"

<"I have saved over any four days of yours at least seven dollars in cold cash. I told you it could bo done and it has been done. I shall now turn tho matter over to you again, expecting you to profit by my teachings," "You have dono so well that you bad best continue," she quietly observed. "Having demonstrated to you that there is no need of your being robbed and swindled and being pressed fortimol shall horeaftor expect you to do tho marketing, I may have to step in at intervals, but of course any husband will cheerfully do that, As I told you before, no wile can bo binned for what she doesr.'t know. Having had the benefit of my experience, if you allow yourself to bo swindled again it will bo your own fault." Next day at dinner Mrs Bowser had turkey, swoet potatoes, cranberry sauce, and other good things, and Mr Bowsor looked about him and observed: " Well, you deserve credit, Mrs Bowser, ( and I am glad to accord it." She looked at him inquiringly, 11 1 showed yon how this house could bo run on tho samo system as a bank, and you were sonsiblo onough to adopt my suggestions, and this is tho result, lam considerably encouraged, Mrs Bowsor—considerably encouraged, In a year or two more, if you will follow out this lino, you will almost be competent to go down to the store with a 20dols. bill aud invest it as well as I could,