SOMETHING FOR NOTHING

Sun (Christchurch), Volume I, Issue 149, 30 July 1914, Page 11

SOMETHING FOR NOTHING

i ■ " . . »- THE WILY CIRCULAR. Nothing dies. The credence, that made life rosy and profitable for the deceitful spruiker in the back days when the spruiker was a novelty still survives in sufficient volume to offer a livelihood to the voluble sophist who trades his tawdry tinsel and mocks secretly the gaping gullibility of a believing public. Even the old, old circular, as transparent a cloak for petty or princely roguery as any which public derision has condemned to the scrap heaps of the simple ages, crops up again from time to time. Everybody has seen these circulars —the quantity that inundate Christchurch from time to time must bring overtime wages to the men who push the public refuse into the destructor furnaces. The. circular will tell you in whispered words, breathing privacy ami confidence, that you and a few other selected favourites of fortune have been singled out by munificent philanthropists for alluring gifts. THE FREE AD. Of course, you will show the gift to your friends and acquaintances, because then they will envy you, and that will please your vanity. They will whisper between themselves of your fortune, and set out to find the philanthropic donor of the present. THE CASH CONDITION. There is always a condition, and it is always buried in the verbosity of the circular. Are they silver-mounted hairbrushes, elaborately chased and fretted that are offered as a gift? Then there will be a condition concerning a silver comb. You must have the comb, but to enable the benefactor to present you with the brashes you must send a trifle, say, l 10/*,-for tlie comb. ; /'ftiEtEi LATEST. A resident of Christchurch. recently received a circular letter from • " The Observatory; Watch and Jewellery Company," 187, ! Westbourne Grovej Bayswater, London, England. The letter heading is decorated with scintillating diamond rings and. gorgeous: golden watches.Under the ' - Private and Confidential,'' it starts off with the intimate introduction, "Dear Friend." Then it goes on to say that "we are pleased to inform you that you are very fortunate, for your name is down to receive a beautiful and valuable free prize." ON THE LIST. Then, with the air of announcing a glorious discovery, it goes on:—"We find on consulting our list that your prize is a splendid Afrie gold watch — a real beauty. ... It is a beauty, and the facsimile of a magnificent 18-carat solid gold watch—it looks well worth a great deal of money." The letter gets even more intimate, or impudent, as it proceeds:—"Now, as we were introduced to you by a friend, and yotir name is on .our great free prize list, this beautiful watch is 3'ours, absolutely free—a gift from us 011 one single condition." This is where thci cloven hoof begins to be displayed. " Your watch is simply waiting for you to. cleam it, and as soon as we hear from you it will be sent securely packed in a beautifully strong case immediately, All you have to do .is ;i to. seiul 7/11 for one of our finest quality Afrie-gold chains to wear with the watch." The description given of these Africgold chains is almost worth the price asked for the article. They are "the admiration and envy of everyone, and look worth ten» times the money..'' There is the usual assurance that if you don't like the watch and chain you may return them by return mail, and get your money back. All you have to do is to fill in the order, giving your name and adress. The Observatory Watch Co. does the rest, aiid it winds up by "heartily congratulating, you on your good luck." NOT HAVING ANY. The local resident w r as " not having any." He didn't want a free waWh and a 7/11 chain. So he wrote back as follows: — "Dear Sirs,—ln reference to the enclosed circular, I note that my name is down on some list you have, and as no doubt this is a mug's list, would you please erase my name therefrom. I know that the firms, and particularly firms who offer something for nothing, can purchase from certain sources a list of mugs or simple fools who are supposed to bite at every get-rich-quick proposition put before them. As it lias occurred to me that you may have got my name out of one of these lists, I wish to advise you that if this should be the case that I cannot be fooled inio a 'free watch if you buy a chain" proposition. : . These schemes have been exposed here long ago." .