THE SIMPLE LIFE.

Sun (Christchurch), Volume I, Issue 89, 21 May 1914, Page 10

THE SIMPLE LIFE.

* COOKING OUTFIT IN A HATBOX. Put on your health-fibre suit, draw or your sandals of eomprpsscd banana skin, and come with me "to the Simple' Life Exhibition at the Horticultural Hall. Let us weep salt tears in our i banana coffee as we look at this array of ingenious and complicated confcriv- ' ances, and realise how the simple lifer ! has been beaten to the ropes in his hope- ' less struggle against civilisation, says a | writer in a London journal. I Poor old simple lifer! ' He Jed off by I throwing away his starched collar, and thought he had scored a point. Civilisation responded by surrounding him with ""seventeen different kinds of starchless health "collars. "I will do without the worry of a . house/'' he said. Civilisation landed .him on t'ho point Of thc'jaw"withi the worry "of patent tents, and camp beds* that'could be folded "into V suit-case -if you were .an expert mechanic and al-' ways kept the book of rules by you. Now, v on these stands at the Horticultural Hall the simple lifer has met his Waterloo. The inventors have been too much for him. Bran Tea Sollickers. Glance for a moment at theso bloods who 101 l round the beerlcss bar quaffing bran tea just as though it were a real drink. The tall man is the genius who made life simpler by 1 persuading his patent cooking outfit to pack itself into a hatbox. No one else, has since been able to do it without leaving out the kettle and the largest saucepan. His companion is the great apostle of simplicity who provided the lovers of the open road with'a writing desk which could be transformed into a billiard table, a.sideboard,'and a home sculling apparatus. - "•

The man with the woollcss socks' is just an ordinary simple lifer. He i* solving the problem of whether he should lunch on Trj-Grapo, which contains 65.6 protcid and 37.2 carbon; or on 80-Wheatine, which has only ?>7.2 proteid, but is extiomely rich in phosphorus. He .has also just, remembered that he forgot to go through No. 37 of his deep-breathing exercises this "morning. No. This simple life business is not just going about chewing nuts and" reciting Walt Whitman. You need to be a composition of expert chemist and mechanic, and have a good head for figures. Let us, therefore, steal out into our own confused and complex life, and content ourselves with a complicated sausage and mash.