The Modern Fable of the Man Who Was living to Retire.

Otago Witness, Issue 2490, 4 December 1901, Page 76

The Modern Fable of the Man Who Was living to Retire.

He always said he was going io Retire when he had Enough. When he was 20 years old he hoped to amass 10,00Cdo!. At 30 he saw that he would not be able to peg along on los*. than IGO,OOOdoI. Whon L<was 4-0 he realised that a Man t'aat didn't have a Million was little better than a Tramp. At 50 he wanted to make tho Elkins-Widener Syndicate look like a band of Paupers.

At 60 he still promised himself that ho would retire. Just as soon as he had cabbaged everything Getat;ible, then he «? = going to lie back in an Imalid Chair, and read the 18,000 Boo 1 :? he had collected, but ho had not found time to cut Uic Ijou\c".

In ordei to got roady for liis liPy-Oft he built a Home in thp Conniry. He told the Architect to throw himself on something compared with which Windsor Ca?tle would be a Woodman's Hut. He decided on a Deer Park, a Poultry Farm, aijd Aiice-.tral Oaks, so as to hs»ve som< thing Ancestral. Ho put up a Shack that reminded one of the Stfte House. It wa=- big enough for a Soldiers' Home. Tne Family consisted of himself and his Wife, and the Architect allowed them 19 Bath-rooms apiece.

Tiie Rugs and Tapcstric-s cost 1.75d0l a Thread. Every Painting was fresh froia the Salon, and had tho Cost-mark attached to show that it wps Good Good«.

When the Place was completed he handed the Business over to the Junior Partners, and went out to Rest. He turned on all the Fountains, and ordered the Birds to strike up. The Dream of his Life had come True. He had no Cares, no Responsibilities. All he had to do was sit there and watch the Grass grow. Ho enjoyed it for nearly 25 minutes, and then he began to Fidget, so he went and sat in the Marie Antoinette Room for a while, and counted the Stripes in the Fre^oo. Afterwards he took a turn about tlio Grounds, and came back and wondered if everything was running along all right at the Office.

" Gee, but this is tame," said the Retired Hustler. "I think I'd bettor take a little run into Town to be Fure that the Understrappers are not making a Botch of it. 1 ' At 11 o'clock he was back at the Old Stand, hovering about like an Uneasy Spirit. He looked over the Correspondence, and dictated a few Loiters, and got tho Noi^c in his Ears/ and he began to feel Good again. His Associates told him to clear out, and play with the Deer and Prize Chickens. "I have been Afsoeiaiing with' them all Morning," was the Reply. "They did not seem disposed to close any Contracts, so tl.eir Society palled on me. Beside, I have been looking around, and I fee that you can't get along without me. Furthermore, it is all Tommy-Rot for a n:au of 68 and iust entering the Prime of Life to talk of Retiring."

Wlien the Reaper finally came the old Gentleman was found in the Tread-mill ; but he was still counting on making use of the Country Place next Year or possibly the Year after.

Moral: One cannot Rest except after steady Practice. — George Adie, in the New York Herald.