Page 27 Advertisements Column 3

Otago Witness, Issue 1501, 21 August 1880, Page 27

THE SECRET OP HAPPINESS. " WalkiV out dis mawnin' to behole de bewtiful in natur'," began the president as he arose, "my mind recolleoted dat I had been axed to splain de true secret o' happiness. In de fust place, when am a man happy 1 Ia it when he has lots 0' money— when he has fixed his enemy— when he travels an' sees the world — when he has a good home ? An' how many grades 0' happiness kin you oount up? An' what am happiness when you come to boil It down ?" During the silence that followed this last query, Samuel Shin made an effort to croaa his legs and knocked the water-pail bottom side up, filling the brogano of Giveadam Jones and Whitelaw Skinner full of ice-cold liquid. " Happiness, as an ole blaok man like me defines it," continued Brother Gardner, "am no sto' sloze, a fat wallet, a big house, an' ice-cream ebery night afore you go to bed. When I looked about me arter a wife I didn't look fur anything gaudy. I know I mus' mary a black woman or none at all. I knew she'd be away off on her Greek and Latin, an' so when I got my ole woman I war' not a h\t dis'pinted. She am aa good as I am, an' what more can I ask ? When I war' free to Btart out I reasoned dat I mus' job 'round at dis an' dat, kase I had no trade. I nebber counted on havin' more dan a cord of wood an' five bushels of 'tatera ahead, an' I nebber have had. I knew I'd have to live in a small house, own a cheap dog, live an' dress plainly, an' keep dis black skin to de grave, an' it has all happened jist I 'speoted. I am happy kase I havn't 'spected too much. lam happy kase I doan* figger on what I haven't got. lam happy kase I reason dat de weather can't allus be far, money can't allus laßt, an' yer bes' fr'ends can't allus be counted on. If dar' am any secret of happinness I believe it am dis, an' we will now begin de reg'lar bizness of de occasion," — A Lime-Kiln Club reflection. VICTORIA AND GEORGE IV. Queen Victoria's dislike to George IV has been shown very decidedly in many practical ways, both at Windsor and at Buckingham Palace, whioh, after all, is somewhat ungrateful on her Majesty's part, as, whatever his failings as a monarch, his successors are indebted to him for having made Windsor Castle one of the moßt splendid and luxurious residences in the world, and Buokingham Palace in these respeots is not far behind. On the walls of one of the draw-ing-rooms at the Palaoe there hung for many years five large and beautiful family pictures, including the famous portrait of the Duchess of Cumberland, by Qainesborough. In the centre was George IV, by Sir Thomas Lawrence, one of his finest examples. But, by way of manifesting her dislike of her unole, the Queen ordered his pioture to be removed and consigned to a staircase, filling the vaoant space with a portrait of herself painted shortly after she ascended the throne, and whioh, being one of the moat hideous daubs ever seen, was not only altogether out of place, but positively spoiled the effect of its neighbours. AN ANTIQUARIAN DISCOVERY IN JUTLAND. The Pall Mall Gazette's correspondent at Copenhagen writes : — "An interesting and probably unique discovery has been made close to the town of Randers, in Jutland, of a grave, dating probably from the sixth or seventh century, containing the remains of a woman, who had been buried in her richest attire, it being sbill possible to trace the dress, whioh had been interwoven with gold thread. Across the chest were laid two bands with a kind of gold lace, on the top of whioh again were laid some ornaments composed of coloured glass beads, some having an outer shell of gold leaf, and several cut like diamonds, as well as a small perforated silver coin. To the left of the body was found a knife, a pair of scissors, a small whetstone (for needles), and a small glass cup, whioh was broken in pieces/ In the tomb was also found the remains of a wooden pail with iron bands, whioh had contained the food supposed necessary to support the deceased on her journey to Hades. This discovery affords another proof of the exceptionally high position occupied by the women in Scandinavia during heathen times in comparison with nearly all other heathen countries. The body had evidently originally been enclosed in a coffin of rough oaken planks. Great interest is taken in the scientific examination of the silver coin, by which the actual period may be at least approximately ascertained. TAKING A TICKET UNDER DIFPIOULTIES. Nowhere excepting in this free and beautiful country of ours (says Harper's Magazine) could an incident combining the humorous and practical have occurred like the following. It was between Mr Bliss, a conductor on the Chicago and Rock Island Railroad, whose height is five feet, and Mr Henry, a passenger, who stood seven in his stockings. Mr Henry put his ticket in his hat-band, and stood himself up when the brief conductor came along. Mr Bliss could not reach the ticket, even when standing on his toes, and his unavailing efforts to do so made all the passeDgerß "laugh oonsumedly." But he rose to the occasion. Without changiug countenance, he brought a stepladder, leaned it against the elongated Henry, climbed up to and picked off the ticket, and went on as though nothing had happened. Rather good, and very American ! A HARD WINTER. General Reuben was seated on a mackerel barrel, with his feet on a couple of sugar hogsheads, and hai just given an account of how he froze them sliding down hill in the winter of 76. There was silence for a few minutes, interrupted by an interrogation from Mozart Daffodil : "Do you mean, general, to have our understanding comprehend dat you froze boffof dem feet in one winter ?" ''Boff," replied the general, cutting off a piece of tobacco aboub the sizß of a toy harmonica. After another reign of silence, the general demanded : •' Do you doubt that statement sa h ?",