JIM THE MILKER

NZ Truth, Issue 67, 29 September 1906, Page 3

JIM THE MILKER

Has Some Confiab with the j Prophet Jeremiah. 1 ■ Last night before me and the boseswife, Madam Sharkey, retired she says to me Jim did yer see that some. >of our aprentices have been up interviewing Minister Foulds with regard to starting a State spook raising department did yer see it m the paper ? Yes my oath I did and know every jocker of the deputation, , all small local spook raisers of no standing. Look at me and you will know respectable people who have raised spooks m the four quarters of the globe, but yer noticed that the Minister gave them no show, he was wating for my advice. Leave Foulds alone he knows their capers and wont move m the matter without me. Holy Moses they want to suggest and if they were backed by law the hole push of us would be m Bedlam. Now yer go to bed like a good woman I says and she went. As I sat m me studdy I thought that it would be a good thing to raise old Jeremiah the profit. Yer must no that Jerry was a cove that used to prance about Jeresulim m old times carrying an ink horn. Some peopil I've heard says that the horn was full of whisky but yer never no. So I throws myself into a trance Jeremiah where art thou ? If yer are m these parts show up to the boss spook raiser or I'll set the. boses wife on yer, then I had a drink. Well after a time I seed a small blue light so I lit me pipe to let the spook have plenty of time to meterelize himself. I'm mno hurry Jerry ■take time. Then I saw a long big nose forming so there was no doubt about the case. After a time the old cove stood up a tough looking chap •he, was a regular Ikey Mo. When yer saw his nose meterlizing yer would have thought that it was the tower of Babel but at last he fitted himself up as well as he could. He was m a hurry because when I order them up yer must know they have to, come even if they' held four aces. He looked a job lot I can tell yer and when he spoke his great nose waggled, if I had not been a God fearing chap there would have been a laugh. By this time he had got himself into full fig so says I Jerry will yer have a drink. No Proffesor yer see that I have no stumick wot do yer want to root me out for behold when I was a young mahn. Being m a good humor I axed him how old he was. Four thousand years and be damned to yer, for lo it came to pass that when I was bully whanging m the wilderness carrying a pillar of fire, on me back and feeding coves, where were you me buck yer ought to be a little modest even if yer are the boss spook raiser. Yer drinking wine are yer ? Woe into ye wine bibbers for yer bellies will swell even as a forty shil^ ling pot that has no soundness m for verily I say into yer that a sparrows fall will send the hole push of yer to. hell so I tell yer. Then I; seed that old Jerry was wild because I took him/ away from Sarahs lap where it appears that he roosts, an old bloke of that age 4000 years should, no better. Then I said to him look here Jerry why can't yer speak like other men instead of yer loying beholding and comming to passing, yer old rip,.-a small thing more of yer cheek .and I'll lay me. hands on yer.Then Jerry sees that me blood was up so he got more friendly. ProSesor I can't drink with yer as yer no having no guts so yer will excuse me. How is the boses wife, Madam Sharkey, I hear down m the pit that she is the greatest medium m the four quarters of the globe, did yer hear that the Divel has to enlarge his premises to make more room for fat men and parsons. Yes Profiesor since the Government reduced the price of coal and brimstone being cheap there is fine times all furnaces are fired by able-bodied marine fireman coves that knows their wurrick. Here the old profit began to melt the nose was the larst to dissaper. Yes life is a dream but I must call up Jerry again. JIM THE MILKER.