JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 62, 25 August 1906, Page 3

JIM THE MILKER.

"The Bosses" Wife Makes. a Delicate Communication.

Professor Sharkey's New and' Startling Theory m Therapeutics.

The other night when me and the bosses wife; ' was warmin' our shinsat the fire she says, "Dear Jim, I want ter die, how will yer get onwithout me if I die? My dear I says, what do yer want to die. for, are yer tired of yer loving cove ? No Jim but I raised a spook the other day and he tells me that they are having great times m "the Kingdom of Heaven, angels and spooks fiyi'n' about like -. flocks of snipes m a heavy gale and doing the can-can m fine style. I dident no they did capers like that. Then she bit me on the ear m a- loving wav" yer know Mr Editor, how they do it when they are real jam. She also told r,ie that she had a vision wherein she saw all the murdered children doneto death m the dairy trade. Well •when the boses wife, Madame Shair;key, spoke -to me like that I seed 'that, she was ..suffering from over fcyork si? : I .; embraced .' her and did S-ome coriudelin.* • to. comfort her for j,she ;is .a rbal -ta,tt. So. after" a. time kwhen .1 had put some whisky into • t-her s-he kivers her face and tells mc .that she is m the family ' way and roars, out, "If I die, dear Jim, will •yer take care of ATder-ney and Duri'ham ?" "Yes,. yes, it will be all wright," and me eyes were wet cose l r l thought she was goin' to die. However she looks up at me and says • "Jim, yer will have to get k swing, set lip for me a high swing and yer : can swine: me for' a few hours m -the morning -it, will be good fer us. Yer must consider the unborn mil-, yuns." "Great Moses," says I, "milyuns, yer jocking ?',' Then minding that ladies were half mad j when they were m that way. I gave her a chased kiss and we 1 went to bed. Now I must tell yer about me latest sientific -diskovery and it is of great [importance to all people that are aifiicted with spooks I don't no if I ain't doing meself out of many a- quid' -but yer no -that I am __ liherul cove wot loves ,me feller blokes and besides- I must always diagnose the :case so its all right- So after due. •consideration I am convinced that spooks are hard cases. .Yer know that m me article to "Truth" i mentioned cases whetre spooks got into people's insides, it is a fact yer can bet it. Talk about yer microbes killing coves it aint , microbs its [spooks. Yer will understand as a syentific man that a spook has no stummick so they cant .q;et any solid [ tucker into them, so the spook gets I into peoples insides and eats out everything- tliat . they swallow. , I know' a decent bloke '.that gets a pint 3 of beer into hihi but it is no go a spook gets into Jiim and polishes off the whole lot so that .he has to get more. ; It is a hard case. I was .thinking that it is high time that the Government took steps m ' this matter ' instead of a health officer ; they should have a spook officer a man like- me who knows all the-; spook capers. ''■•■ I • • have .found that ; when a spook gets' into a person's guts that the best way to chasethem out is .to give them something that they don't like a spook can't abide tepsum salts or caster ile so in' every case where I am called m I give whips of salts and ile it makesthem thin but the spook has to go. JIM THE MILKER.