THE FORTUNE TELLER

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXII, Issue 22166, 20 July 1935, Page 23

THE FORTUNE TELLER

BT KAREL CAPEIC

Everybody who knows anything about the subject will realise that this episode could not have happened in Czechoslovakia or in France, or in Germany, for in all these countries, as you are aware, judges are bound to try offenders and to sentence them in accordance with the letter of the law and not in accordance with their shrewd common sense and the dictates of their consciences. And the fact that in this story there is a judge who, iu passing sentence, was guided not by the statute-book but by sound common sense is due to the circumstance that the incident which I am about to relate could, have happened nowhere else than in England; in fact, it happened in London, or, to be more precise, in Kensington; no, wait a bit, it was in Brompton or Bayswater—anyway, somewhere thereabouts. The judge was, as a matter of fact, a magistrate, and his name was Mr t . Kelly, J.P. Also there was a lady, and her name was plain Myers, Mrs. Edith Myers.

Wall, 1 must tell you that this lady, who was otherwise a respectable person, came under the notice of Detective-in-spector MacLeary. " My dear," said MacLeary to his wife one evening, " I can't get that Mrs. Myers out of my head. What I'd like to know is, how the woman makes her living. Just fancy, here we are in the month of February and she's sent her servant for asparagus. And I've discovered that she has between twelve and twenty visitors every day, and they vary from charwomen to duchesses. 1 know, darling, you'll say she's probably a fortune-teller. Very likely, but that can only be a blind for something else, say, the white slave traffic or espionage. Look here, I'd rather like to get to the bottom of it." " All right, Bob," said the excellent Mrs. MacLeary, " you leave it to me."

And so it came about that on the following day, Mrs. MacLeary, of course without her wedding ring, but on the other hand very girlishly dressed and with her hair in ringlets like a young woman who feels that it is time for her to put away frivolities, with a scared look on her baby face, Vang at Mrs. Myers' door in Bayswater or possibly Marylebone. She had to wait quite a while before Mrs. Myers received her. " Sit down, my dear," said the old lady, when she had very thoroughly inspected her shy visitor. " What can 1 do for you?" " I—l—l " stammered Mrs. MacLeary. " I'd like—it's my , twentieth birthday to-morrow —I'm awfully anxious to know about my future." " But, Miss—er, what name, please?" quoth Mrs. Myers, and seized a pack of cards which she began to shuffle energetically. " Jones," sighed Mrs. MacLeary. "My dear Miss .Jones," continued Mrs. Mvcrs, " you're quite mistaken. 1 don't tell fortunes by cards, except, of course, just now and then, to oblige a friend, as every old woman does. Take the cards in your left hand and divide them into five heaps. I hats right. Sometimes I read the cards as a pastime, but apart from that—dear me!'! she said, cutting the first heap. "Diamonds! That means money. And the knave of hearts. That's a. nice hand." „ . , " Ah," said Mrs. MacLeary, and what else?" , , . " Knave *of "diamonds, " proceeded Mrs. Mvers, uncovering the second heap. " Ten of spades, that's a journey. But here!" she exclaimed. " I see clubs. Clubs always mean-worry, but there s a queen of hearts at the bottom. " What does that mean?" asked Mrs. MacLeary, opening her eyes as wide as she could. . ~ _ , , " Diamonds again," meditated Mrs. Myers over the third heap. My dear, there's lots of money in store for you, but I can't tell yet whether you re going on a long journey or whether it s someone near and dear to you. " I've got to go to Southampton to see my aunt," remarked Mrs. MacLeary. - . „ "That must be the long journey, said Mrs. Myers, cutting the fourth heap. " Somebody's going to get in your way, some elderly man —" " 1 expect that's my uncle! exclaimed Mrs. MacLeary. " Well, here we've got something and no mistake," declared Mrs. Myers over the fifth heap. " My dear Miss Jones, this is ihe nicest hand I've ever seen. There'll be a wedding before the year's out; a very, very rich young man is going to marry you—he must be a millionaire or a business man, because

he travels a lot; but before you are. united, you'll have to overcome great obstacles, there's an elderly gentleman who'll get in your way, but you must persevere. When you do get married, you'll move a long way off, most likely across the ocean. My fee's a guinea, for the Christian mission to the poor negroes." " I'm so grateful to you," declared Mrs. MacLeary,'taking one pound and one shilling out of her handbag, " awfully grateful. Mrs. Myers, what would it cost without any of those worries?" " The cards can't be bribed," said the old lady with dignity. " What is your uncle?" " He's in the police," lied the young lady with an innocent face. " You know, the secret service." "Oh!" said the old lady, and drew three cards out of the heap. " That's very nasty, very nasty. Tell him my dear, that he's threatened by a great danger. He ought to come and see me, to find out more about it. There's lots of them from Scotland Yard come hero and get me to read the cards for them, and they all tell mo what they have on their minds.* Yes, just you send him to me. You say he's on secret service work? Mr. Jones? Tell him I'll be expecting him. Good-bye, dear Miss Jones. Next, please!" » # ♦ * * " 1 don't like the look of this," said Mr. MacLeary, scratching his neck reflectively. " I don't, like the look of this, Katie. That woman was too muchinterested in your late uncle. Besides that, her real name isn't Myers, but Meierhofer, and she hails from Lubeck. A dashed German!" growled Mr. MacLeary. " I wonder how we can stop her little game? I woiddn't mind betting five to one that she worms things out of people that are no business of hers. I'll tell you what; I'll pass the word on to the bosses." And Mr. MacLeary did, in good sooth, pass the word on to the bosses. Oddly enough, the bosses took a serious view of the matter, and so it came about that the worthy Mrs. Myers was summoned to appear before Mr. Kelly, J.P. " Well, Mrs. Myers," the magistrate said to her, " what's all this I hear about this fortune-telling of yours with cards?" " Good gracious, your worship," said the old lady, " I must do something for a living. At my age 1 can't go on the music-halls and dance!" " Hm," said Mr. Kelly. " But the charge against you is that you don't read the cards properly. My dear good lady, that's as bad as if you were to give people slabs of clay when they ask for cakes of chocolate. In return for a fee of one guinea people aro entitled to a correct prophecy. Look here now, what's the good of your trying to prophesy when you don't know h6w top"

A SHORT STORY

(conynioHTj

" It isn't everyone who complains," urged the old lady in her defence. " You see, I foretell the things they like. The pleasure they get out,of it is worth a few shillings, your worship. And sometimes I'm right. 'Mrs. Myers,' said one lady to me, ' nobody's ever read the cards for me as well as you have and given me such good advice.' She lives in St. John's Wood and is getting a divorce from her husband." " Look here," the magistrate cut her short. ' We've got a witness against you. Mrs. MacLeary, tell the court what happened." " Mrs. Myers told me from the cards," began Mrs. MacLeary glibly, " that before the year was out I'd be married, that my future husband would be a rich young man and that I'd go with him across the ocean —" " Why across the ocean particularly?" inquired the magistrate. " Because there was the nine of spades in the second heap; Mrs. Myers said that means journeys." " Rubbish!" growled the magistrate. " The nine of spades means hope. It's the jack of spades that means journeys; and when it turn§ up with the seven of diamonds, that means long journeys that are likely to lead to something worth while. Mrs. Myers, 'you can't bamboozle me. You prophesied to the witness here that before tho year was out she'd marry a rich young man. But Mrs. MacLeary has been married for the last three years to Detective-inspector MacLeary, and a fine fellow he is too. Mrs. Myers, how do you explain that absurdity?" " My goodness me!" said the old lady ' placidly. " That does happen now and then/ When this young person called on me she was all dressed up, but her left glove was torn. So that looked as if she too well off, but she wanted to make a show all the same. Then she said she was twenty, but now it turns out she's twenty-five—"

"Twenty-four," Mrs. MacLeary burst forth. " That's all the same. Well, she wanted to get married, what I mean to say, she made out to me she wasn't married. So 1 arranged a set of cards for her that'd mean a wedding and a rich husband. I thought that'd meet the case better than anything else." " And what about the obstacles, the elderly gentleman and the journey across the ocean?" asked Mrs^MacLeary. " That was to give you plenty for your money," said Mrs. Myers artlessly. " There's quite a lot has to be told for a guinea." " Well, that's enough," said the magistrate. " Mrs. Myers, it's no -use. The way you tell fortunes by cards is a fraud. Cards take some understanding. Of course, there are various ideas about it, but if my memory serves me, the nine of spades never means journeys. You'll pay a fine of fifty pounds, just* the same as people who adulterate food or sell worthless goods. There's a suspicion, too, Mrs. Myers, that you're engaged in espionage as well. But J don't expect you admit that." " As true as I'm standing here—" exclaimed Mrs. Myers. But Mr. Kelly interrupted her. " Well, we'll say no more about that. But as you're an alien without any proper means of subsistence, the authorities will make use of the powers vested in them, and will have you deported. Good-bye, Mrs. Myers, and thank you, Mrs. MacLeary. I must say that this inaccurate fortune-telling is a disgraceful and unscrupulous business. Just bear that in mind, Mrs. Myers." " What am I to do now?" sighed the old lad 3% " Just when 1 was beginning to get a good connection together—"

«■♦ » » ♦ About a year later Mr. Kelly met Detective-inspector MacLeary. "Fine weather,'-' said the magistrate amiably. "By the way, how is Mrs. MacLeary?" Mr. MacLeary looked very glum. " Well—you know, Mr. Kelly," he said with a certain embarrassment, " Mrs. MacLeary—well, the fact is—she's left me." " You don't say so," said the magistrate in astonishment, " such a nice young lady, too!" " That's just it," growled Mr. MacLeary. " Some young whippersnapper went crazy about her before I knew what was happening. He's a millionaire, or a business man from Melbourne 1 tried to stop her, but—" Mr. MacLeary made a« helpless gesture with his hand, a week ago they sailed together for Australia." '