CALAMO CURRENTE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XX, Issue 6787, 18 August 1883, Page 9 (Supplement)

CALAMO CURRENTE.

If the "annexation movement had no. other ' result, it bits had acurious effectinbringing to the feeling f which has been slowly developing itself at home : in relation tocolonists .and tlie colonies/ Timowas, and not so Tef y' long ago/, when, a kind of indifference verging on contempt was meted out to the colonies. Time was, and' ohly;a litlle more ■remote,- when they were regarded as place* * -where rubbish might be shot, and it was felt pity that they did not take themselves off : a sort of encumbrance to the' Empire ; and it is not beyond the verge'of modern history -when they were thought fit.subjects to be •squeezed for the benefit of the stay-at-home taxpayer. But we have ..changed . all that -now and colonies and colonists are by no meaLs small potatoes. Indeed to a colonist -of a retiring and sensitive, nature, it as rather .embarrassing to note the anxiety evinced by the English press, .which C £ = course represents the feeling : of th» English people, lest, peradventure, ,tho ■Cofonies should be huffed. In a tone of:the Wst ludicrous exaggeration, these guardians -of our interests anticipate indignation, separatisn hostility, on the part of the colonies in case their wishes in this annexation business are not gratified'; and accustomed as we are tso bounce, after the colonial fashion, in speaking of onr rights, real or fancied we nhtolutaly taken aback and silenced by •this excess of consideration. What it is all -eominff to, goodness only knows ; for some TOrv wise member of Parliament the other •dav pot a question to the Imperial Government whether they would give any " weight •to the possible hostile feeling in the Australian colonies in the event of occurrences -taking place in the Pacific similar to those of "Madagascar," and the Premier said they would; while the most sta'.d and proper •journals, in the most serious tone, warn the British Parliament that, we are hot to be trifled with. It is this -sort of thing that takes the pucker out •of people, and we feel under a siort of •compulsion to moderate:our bouncing ways,, ■and assure our English friends that we are ■cot cross. We mnst let them know that the colonial animal bays loudly as a rule, but that his bite is nothing like bis bark, and that he has no intention, even the most remote, of flying at the throat of the British lion. Indeed, the. danger is thxt this kind •Of treatment from the home authorities will •have too muoh of a mollifying influence, and that excess of consideration is sapping all the •vigour out of the action .of the colonies. Already, like a lot of school boys who had jjeen raising rebellion againsS the master, the •colonies are begining to expostulate with out: another. New South Wains has soundly •lectured Queensland ior its precocity, South Australia has been the good boy throughout, and didn't see the good of the thing, though half acquiescing so as not to Epoil sport. Tasmania expostulates mildly, and only Victoria retains an outward appearance of fierceness, but it was always a blustering lad; while Queensland itself looks sullea and dissatisfied, as having somewhat madei a fool Of itself. Altogether the,school of Aim - tralia is settling down, and all because the master kept the switch behind his back, arc!, out of sight, and talked softly to the ■yonngsters. : •

The hostile attitude of Victoria to the Phoenix Park informers has reached a ludicrous pass, when the Irish National League of Victoria held a special meeting and passed a unanimous vote of thanks to Mr. Service for his action in' relation to the informers. How accurately the League estimated: the "true value of this procedure on the part of the Government arid people of Victoria goes without saying; 'and it would be a study, if anyone had seen the face of Mr. Servicewhen he received the deputation from the representatives of Irish disaffection. He had fondly fancied, doubtless, that he'and his ■were giving their strongest proof of reprobation of disloyalty in refusing refuge to participators in the tragedy of the Phcenix Park, bat he overlooked the fact that the unfortunate men had gone the utmost length available for them in redeeming the past, and that it was their having turned Queen's "evidence, rather than their having been conspirators that gave them prominence; and his feelings must have been something mixed as the deputation slyly thanked him for his services to the country. By this time of day most people have come to realise the folly of the impulsive action of Victoria, tut the mischief must remain, and it cannot "but give a filip to the movements of the Xnvincibles to be able to show that for the • " traitors" to their ciuel cause there is 110 xest oni earth to be fround. The folly of the "heme authorities in exiling among a free people men so every way objectionable was no •excuse for a greater folly, and the wbo'e . history of the after dealings with the informers'haa been a piece of incomprehensible •blundering,. .

Many of the noblest achievements in political and social reform have been greeted at • inception with ridicule. There is aninordinate self-conceit in man that prompts -him to ridicule what he cannot understand, ana so the benefactors of mankind have had .generally to run the gauntlet of laughter when their conceptions of duty and their ideas as to how to compass great deeds, which may have Coßt them days and nights of anxious, dvlibe- ; ration, are suddenly presented to the light of day. People will not stop to inquire what may be the objects contemplated, or what the processes of ratiocination which may have led up to the conviction that action of any particular or peculiar kind , is imperatively demanded. This train of thought is sugfelted by the unbecoming manner in which 'arliameut has just met the motion made by an honourable and distinguished member of the Upper House to obtain a return of the barmaids of the colony. It is reported that the motion was greeted with "roars of laughter." It is heedless to say that ridicule is .not argument, and, though "roars of laughter" may show the shallowness of members, it affords no reason against the propriety of obtaining a return of the barmaids of the colony. The honourable member who proposed to elicit a return on this interesting subject tad no doubt been long thinking of ;barmaids, hot in the way m which young men'think of them as the'playthings of an . idle dandling hour, bat in" a fatherly way, { and his soul has yearned for their welfare. , Indeed it is not too much to say that, in his . anxietv to solve the great social problem of barmaids and of the influence which they exercise over the lives of a large section of the community, he may have beep, prompted to parade his inquiries to the extent ol' seekiug to solve for himself the question wherein .consists the influence whereby they sway the of so maiiy young men/ And it may be that in, favourable moments as he received the change from'payment for his modest libation, he may have detained the . graceful fingers of the lovely enslaver, as he sought in her looks and her'accents for the secret of the mystery. Aid learning thus it . may be the potent charm, and feeling perhaps even in his own chaste bosom the incipient .throbbings of the feeling that craves for many drinks, he rushed away to his place in ... Parliament there to formulate the theories he had formed as to some grand scheme for the regeneration of the world .through the influence of barmaids. And they greeted him With " roars of laughter."' It may have been that in that moment'of mellowed feeling, with that soft and graceful hand resting coaxingly in his manly palm, those gentle . eyes looking eo tenderly in his, and with the silken tresses in pitasaht dalliance with his cheek, he may have formed some noble idea of the potent inllaence that might be exercised for good, i! such a power were on the : side of wisdom. How well do we know of the ancient and unreasoning prejudice • that has existed against the stage, and low the religious world has long denounced the play-house as the device of Satan for the enslaving and destroying of jjmman souls ; and who does not know that an modern times, in defiance of ridicule and denunciation, many of the purest and best <>5 men, aad the ablest of advanced thi>.. -.irs, have come to maintain that the stage may Become the.mqst powerful agency for reach- -, ln g the human soul, and turning it in the ; "Ways cf tiiorals and religion. And so it may have b?en,'thit • the honourable member, his'quiet evening sauntering? among the. .Suburbs .and byways of Wellington, dis- ,, covering the subtle power possessed by these v' fair and interesting members of : society, may lave formed the graiid conception of turning " "their -witchery into a -means of arresting young men in their fast career and turning "them into useful members of the State ; ana 'fall o£ the idea he rushed to Parliament, and

•lie." was greeted with roars of laughter#" It is-not to the credit of members, and. of £ community that prides itself on : its freedorr from 'prejndic?s , and ; . its - desire to ; :_ad■vance enquiry into every social and politicaj problem* -to bavevattempted .thus to damp the ardour-of an apostle in this ney creed of the barmaid. regeoeration .of , society,; - but of 'course, with foregone,.conclusion* the Government Easily found an excuse, and paid- that i the /infQrmatiop. = at.. the disposal of the/Government; would not en? able - them - to", furnish such, returne. This is nonsense. The Government . hi\ve such Jaid through the possessed by.;iihe junior.clerks in,the..Civil Service—and/probably the , seniors too, although it might; not. be advisable to ,press these; because: of'.their domfsfciv poace—an 'acc'.^ii&e.':a.ud- ! with 'photographs and personal history of every barmaid in the colony, could have been obtained; ' lE. each member of the service were called on to give an account of the acquaintances of his leisure moments— although there might be duplication- and triplication, and some confusion from the . variety of names,sobriquets,and pet namesthere would -be a complete return of every barmaid iu the colony, /The reply of the Government was therefore only a subterfuge, and it is to be hoped that the honourable member will not be deterred from his intended action by the indifference of Govern* ment, any * more ; than by the " roars of laughter" of uuthinking members.

: The relations between the teachers and the Board of Education are developing features of incipient estrangement; With, perhaps, an amused feeling of indifference, the teachers have been watching tbe progress of fantastic theories at the Board, not having any particular bearing on their own position, and serving to please the originators without doing anybody else, any harm. But the regulation of holidays has hit them oh a, sensitive part, and they have spoken. The unfavourable part of the thing ia, however, thit their very moderate action has elicited language at the Board not calculated to allay the irritation. With reference to the proceedings of the Auckland branch of the Xew Zealand Educational Institute in singling out a member of the Board for special thanks in relation to the burning queiition of th 6 holidays, the action of the teach-rs lias btcn characterised as " gross impertinence on the part of employes towards their employers." This is rough on the teachers ; and, without saying anything as to its injudiciousness, it arise* from an erroneous idea of the position. Iu the first place, the Board are not the employers of the teachers. They are pimply likrt the teachers themselves—the employes of the people—selected for the purpose of doing certain things,' and, certainly anions these, not the duty of contemptuously snubbing a profession, which it is the interest and the wish of thepublic to have elevated to a rank second to none among the officers of the State. But, supposing the teachers to be in the menial position of servants to the Board. There'is nothing to prevent them, more than other servants, from~*combinii'g to protect 'their own interests.; fArtisans, and even labourers, claim the privilege of meeting to discuss their wrongs, and aro in no way chary about taking vigorous action in union, or in letting their employers hear what they have got to say ; and such is the genius of our institutions, that we discourage any attempts to prevent them, so long as their agitation is confined within legal bounds. ' Assuming, that the teachers are the "employes" of the Board, they have not exceeded the bounds of recognised propriety; in meeting and taking action in relation to the curtailment of holidays. But they aire not the employes of the Board, but, on the contrary, the Board, an extraneous body, have- been employed merely to carry out certain duties of administration in connection Tyith education, and could be dispensed ' with, without impairing the efficiency of the education system which could exist without them. The teaching staff is an institution that is indispensable ; the Board is not, but exists on sufferance, there being a very general idea that the duties of administering the education grant could be performed better without them, and through the agency of the Education Department, and its officers. The case of the clerks of the Board, alluded to in illustration, is not parallel. These have been appointed by the Board to assist- them in their duties of administration, and are in every sense the servants of the Board. Further, there is_ a strong feeling oh the part of the public in favour of encouraging an esprit de corps among the teachers, and any action on the part of the Board tending to show a disposition to lord- it unduly over the teachers would not be tolerated. The" recent demeanour of the Board in many ways evinces a disposition to exaggerate the position and to regard the teachers as the corpus vile on which to experiment in all kinds of educational vagaries ; and though the public will expect to see due subordination on the the part of the teachers to the Board, in the legitimate exercise of administrative functions, it would be as well for tbe Board to know that the public will not tolerate airs of unbecoming hauteur, or see its teachers rubjected to unwarranted snubbing.

" What is a long drink ?" was the problem that bothered our respected Coroner at a recent inquest; and though the lively Hebe, with professional habit, promptly answered, " Fourpence, air," this was no solution of the myste:y that perplexed the inquirer. His trouble was not the price of the beverage, but what was its nature;; and though, in the . embarrassing wealth of bibulous nomenclature, gin slings, brandy smash, stone fence, cocktails, and tho rest dtvised' by Americau ingenuity, for the delectation cf thirsty man, it is excusable if a man loses himself amid such an em-ban-as de vich'gSM, still the fact of anybody not knowing what a " long drink" is, comes on the public with a stunning surprise. But it is a noteworthy fact that magistrates and judges from time immemorial have been utterly innocent of the knowledge that comes of .wicked ways, and that the current language of the by ways of social propriety is a sealed book to them,. The reason appears to be that they have never doffed a slouched hat and slipped out in the twilight, never known the mysterious-delicious' luxury of a latchkey, never forgot to wind their watch, or awoke in the morning with' a splittings bewildering hea'iache; and the pleasantest thing in the world is to hear a junior counsel explaining some suoh contraband term to the Bench, with the air of a man who does not know anything about it of positive knowledge himself, but heard it from somebody else. At the inquest, eleven jurors seemed incapable of enlightening the Coroner as to the meaning of' this exotic term, and the foreman who felt compelled to undertake the' duty, exhibited an amount of .confused 1 bashfulness, as if he had only heard of • a "long drink" by repute. It is funny !

. The Zoological Gardens.iu Melbourne have evolved asocio-religious problemof portentous difficulty. When it was agitated £hat the gardens should be opened on Sundays, and the proposal contested step by step by the Sabbatarians, one' last concession was permitted to the defeated party, who felt that the desecration would be intensified by the authorities, deriviug pecuniary profit from the violation of the Sabbath. Accordingly l it was. conceded that though thore was a fixed charge for. admission on ordinary days, there should be no money taken onSunday. Butthis final protest againßt wickedness haa unfortunately operated the wrong way, for there has ! een such an influx of larrikins that the Sabbath-breakera themselves are alarmed, and have been obliged to apply for a large posse of police to protect the wild beasts from the wilder hoodlums. The objectors to the innovation have not been so wise in their generation as the Scotch ferryman, who when he had been reluctantly persuaded to ferry a traveller across on a Sunday, and was offered the ordinary week-day fare of twa bawb- es, replied, "Ns, na 1 I could na sin against ma conscience and break the Sabbath .for anything less than a shillin'."

The Canterbury diamond fever has run a rapid course, and the crisis is past. In fact the symptoms of returning health are manifesting themselves apace.- Somebody, on slaughtering a duck,' found 3 " diamond " in its gizzard, and a happy thought has occurred to' -some - funny fellows to float-a company. It is called the "Tame Duck Company (Limited)," with • a capital of £20,000. The prospectus has been published, and its mode of operations described. A large number of tame ducks are to be purchased arid eet'to work on a place called Tucker Creek, where no doubt the mining excitement has been rife. After they have been sufficiently long puddling in the creek,

and it may bo supposed they have hadtime to have diamonds in their crops, they are to be killed, and the bodies given to the promoters and provisional directors, the gems to the shareholders. It is assumed that in this way all .will be satisfied, especially the promoters, who will have a tangible return for their enterprise,; . . The moral is palpable, but. when a people are in a mood for this sort of thing, -the danger is passed and the body i corporate in a fair way of convalescence.

i T'rofefesor Brir >»&,■ in his valuable lectiir»* ou uleetric lighting, gives a striking iUustra.Hon of tidal power. He says there are 13,000,000 tcins of water lifted and lowered I lis feet per day by the flow and efcb'cf the tide in sc-nevf ;he surestinleti o£ oki? Waitaniiita f Harbour—Hobson's Bay. In other words, in that small space, the sun and moon are daily exercising 1,65i,000-horse power before [our -eyes;,.an. enormous force continually working, of which we are making no use. Is it not humiliating to human self-conceit that, with all our boasted inventive powers, no one. has .ever been able to devise a tidal .engine . capable of using up and turning to practical account a power like tbis, which the Creator has been exhibiting before the eyes of man since time began ? > • •• . POLLKX.