ENTRE NOUS

Free Lance, Volume XVIII, Issue 971, 27 February 1919, Page 18

ENTRE NOUS

I-1 £ COLONIAL Yiddisher " writes to us inviting our opinion whether in .the event of Great Britain being given a free hand to set up a Jewish Republic in Palestine there is likely to be any exodus of Jews from jN"ew Zealand, or in fact any of the English-speaking countries. We think it highly improbable. Certainly, not from New Zealand or Australia. Just fancy the amused smile that would play upon the features of the Rev. H. Van Staveren, Mr David or Mr "Wal:ter Nathan, or any other of our 'Hebrew fellow-citizens at the bare idea vof selling-out in order to establish their business or tjieir homes) in Jerusalem.

. Already some of the heads .of the •Jewish people in Great Britain and the United States have made it plain .that they are Jews by religion only, and Britons or Americans by nationality as the case may be. As well might you expect a Roman Catholic to pull up stakes to go and live in Rome as expect British and American Jews to forswear their citizenship in order to justify a sentimental wish to return "to the cradle of their race in the Holy Land. The League of British Jews, headed by such prominent Englishmen ;as Claude Montefiore arid others, have shown that the establishment of a Jewish States as a i national homeland for "the Jewish people has not their general .sympathy or approval. Mr Lucien "Wolf, a distinguished English scholar, has denied that the Jews are a separate race or nation. He asserts that they are simply a religious community <of great antiquity.

Writing for the_ Reform Jews of America on Americanism v. "Zionism, the Hon. Simon W. Rosendale (former Attorney-General of the State of New York) has expressed similar ideas. He -says : '' Our religion is concerned with ~the State only to the same extent to which all other denominations share "the common aim of praying and work-

ing for the highest welfare of one's native or adopted country. But the implications of a Jewish Palestine State include those distasteful, dangerous, and outworn doctrines of a combination of Church and State from the evils of which the world is. being more and move saved; hence we neither participate in, nor approve of, the efforts to establish a Jewish Palestine State." ■Jt vr "3f

And then he hastens to add "It goes without saying that any efforts to provide a place where oppressed or persecuted Jews may find a place to live in peace, as well as any movement toward educational or cultural advancement, must meet with universal approval." As for American Zionists Mr Rosendale says: "If they want a Palestinian Jewish State, let them get it if they can and go to it." At any rate, both British and American Jews and, of course, New Zealand and Australian Jews, refuse to have any other nationalism thrust upon them xhan that which they at present enjoy under the Union Jack or the Stars and Stripes.

Overheard at the competitions in "Wellington last week: — Bones: " Blank sings well. Has he ever had his voice cultivated?" Biff: "I couldn't say, but I know he has had it irrigated quite often."

The pretty young widow of Lieutenant X. has been on holiday to Botorua. Thereby hangs a little story which may yet possibly develop into a little romance. The first evening she spent there she woke up in the night shivering with nothing but a sheet covering her. This was mysterious, for when she retired she had a blanket and a counterpane. After a search they were nowhere to be found, so she concluded the house must be haunted. Fortunately she had her fur coat. Next morning when they were discussing the weather at breakfast, Mr Bachelor remarked : " I felt so cold in the middle of the night that I took the bedclothes from the spare room." "But there's no spare room now," said the landlady, as she poured the tea over the toast, "Mrs X. is occupying it!" *■ * •*

This interesting little story is related by "Rolling-stone" in "The British Australasian":—The following postcard was recently received by the manager of the. London Alhambra, from an officer of the R.A.F., a prisoner of war in Germany: "Blindly reserve two stalls —front row, centre, if possible—for the evening performance on Monday, 17th prox., 1919. I should be much obliged if you could arrange this, although somewhat in advance. Circumstances prevent my obtaining seats under normal circumstances at the moment. W. E. L. Courtney, Lt." The postcard came from the Officers' Prison at Cologne, and was passed by the German authorities. It is dated October 31, when the Germans were still talking of victory. The officer was a better prophet, and his intelligent anticipation has doubtless secured him the best seats in the stalls.

British war prisoners lately returned from Berlin say that during the revolution there, '' DeutscfrLand TJber Alles," " Die Wa_clit am Rhine," and, similar patriotic songs were highly unpopular in the German capital., Three English civilians who had celebrated the signing of the armistice were sauntering along the Unter deri Linden singing "The Watch on the Rhine," when they were stopped by German soldiers, who said that they ought to be ashamed of themselves for singing such rubbish.

"I come from the Rhine," one of the soldiers remarked. " You go down there and try to keep watch, and then you won't ■ sing eo much "about it." "But we are English," one of the civilians replied. " What!" exclaimed the astonished soldier. "Then why sing 'The Watch on the Rhine?'" "Well," grinned the Englishman, " you see, we are keeping it now." * * * *

A great sensation was caused in Melbourne and Sydney, so states the Australian " Bystander," when the November issue of a certain prominent London society weekly arrived by mail a couple of weeks ago. The London paper contained a full account of the christening of Pamela Armstrong, Melba's grandchild. The report ended with this sentence:* "Sir Ronald Munro Ferguson, Governor-General of Australia, is grandfather of the infant!" Of course, the printer obviously meant "godfather," but just wait until Melba reaches London and gets hold of him J

New verbs are creeping into the English language. Mr 11. 6. Wells, the novelist, is out with the latest. It occurs in his new book, '' Joan and Peter," . after' this fashion: " Arthur lifted a. protesting profile. 'My dear! who is May?' he tenored." This goes one. better than Stephen Leacock, the American humorist, who in his literary burlesque entitled " Frenzied Fiction" makes play with such expressions as 1 lie hoareed" and "she shrilled,"

Another new verb is to be found in " Tono Bungay/' where we told that " Uncle Ponderevo zizzed frequently." Dear Fbee Lance, —Some men can't forget anything, and make silly jokes about it too. The other night when ,1 called at my chemist's for some whisky as the 'flu might be back, he wouldn't supply it, although I showed him the newspaper clipping saying that the biggest medical gun at Home has just found out that alcohol is the surest weapon for killing the 'flu. Instead, he enquired did I know my pelt resembled the Moana poison? Of course. I didn't. He said it was because it was 'igh and 'ide, and went on to explain that my "hide" was colossal, and therefore "high." Then he offered to sell me prussic if I would drink it, and not "try to "put the acid" on him again, and bange dthe dispensary idoor. Probably he knew the landlord, had all our money, because he could see a motor van loaded up for a moonlight flit. If you hear of a worse joke about poison, I would like to hear it. And that's the sort of thing one has to put up with if he wants a drink at night.—Yours, A Thirst.

A Southern college master, seeing some schoolboy "bowlers" in a recent issue of the Free- Lance, sends along a couple more. One refers to that passage in the Bible where the River Jordan was dried up and Moses asked: ' c What mean ye by these stones ?'' The young pupil was given the quotation, and asked to explain the allusion. "What mean ye by these stones?" he wrote, "is what Goliath said to David." The other was that famous line from Horace "Black Care is seated behind the horseman" (Post equitum sedet atra cura). The youthful scholar gave quite an original translation: '' After riding the black woman sits down carefully."

Dear Free Lance : America, tlie I/and of Wooden. Hains, lias become such a paradise that we may expect an influx of American reformers in this Dominion any day now. They have cleaned up everything in the reforming line in their own country. Australia already has become a happy hunting ground for them. But before it is decided to admit all sorts of reformers free of duty it might be well to study the kind of reformers that have been perfected among our lick-creation cousins. Would t.his Dominion welcome, for instance, an extension of the policewomen force on the lines of New Jersey, where part of the duty of' Constable Roberta is to arrest any young girl who is painted and powdered? " Where are you taking , me?" asks the trembling culprit. e< To the WashuPv" replies TVliss Johanna Hop, and, before the captive butterfly can- decide whether this means His Worship or the lockup, she finds herself in front of a large basin of warm soapsuds. After being scrubbed she is sent home. Now just fancy an Auckland or Wellington flapper being led down- Queen Street or along the Quay by the ear. by a stout- policewoman, and put through the above performance. — Yours," etc., Anti-Wowser.

Vladivostock, Russia's back door, is merely a geographical name to most 'New Zealanders, although certainly it was pictured last week on the screen at the King's in Wellington. Already it is a populous city, and bids fair to be one of the big cities on this side of the world in the' near future. A. traveller lately returned from that region' was amazed on landing to find, the streets as busy, traffic as congested, and life as strenuous as in Sydney at its busiest. There was nothing " dead" about Yladivostock except the- harbour. When he tried to find hotel accommodation he found he was against a contract as steep as in Wellington at racetime. Vladivostock was so crowded that at last he was glad to accept a cot in a large room in a private house, but almost every day while he was there some one came in for the sole purpose of bribing or arguing the landlord into exiling all " casuals" like this New Zealander.

Are there any New Zealand fathers who will dispute the claim of John Ward to the World's Biggest Family Championship? John Ward, be it known, is an American negro, the father of thirty-five children. Thirteen of his eighteen sons are in Uncle Sam's army, while his daughters have been busy with war work. Ward is 62 years of age, and has been married three times. His first wife presented him with fifteen children, including two lots of quadruplets and two pairs of triplets. His second wife presented him with two pairs of twins and, going still one better than the first Mrs Ward, with a quintet! Fancy ;being the proud father of a dusky, husky little bunch of five! The present Mrs Ward is not quite so ambitious. She has added another eight to the still growing family circle, but each has arrived one at a time. Mr Ward's first wife lived six years and three weeks after marriage, his second wife eight years and six months. These particulars are vouched for by the sheriff of Wayne County, U.S.A., where Mr John Ward lives.

The first view of Vladivostoek, from the steamer as it enters the- Golden Horn Bay, is a business view.: Warehouses and docks, stretching for miles along the waterfront and .scattered along the hillsides in every direction, impress one with the commercial importance of the city. In both Manchuria and Siberia you can travel for hours, almost for days, at a time, through the richest agricultural country, the steppes of Hussia, fertile, uoused soil. There is going to be a, tremendous development in this- littleknown land. There are. vast areas of untilled land only waiting to be tickled with the plough in order to laugh with a harvest, great virgin forests, mines with treasures unscratched, in T dustrial possibilities of limitless extent.

Young Smith (recently returned): "All right! I'll get up in a jiffy Half a mo there, I'm getting 1 Half amo ——! Half a— — —N/Y. "Life."